After
by Abby-Rosette
Summary: When Karin Kurosaki is led to take up the role of protector that her brother left behind, everything she believed in before becomes shrouded in new questions. But when she finds that the one person she counted on was hiding the truth from her, her world threatens to break apart again. But she will not shatter. This may be the aftermath, but this isn't the end. AU, Hitsukarin
1. After

After.

It's easier to understand things if you put them in a box. In order to find answers to unanswerable questions, man has always tried to shrink the question to an understandable chunk. The question of time, for instance: What is it? How do you measure it? So we break it to bits. Seconds, minutes, hours, days. Ultimately, it all gets cleaved into two easy parts: Before Common Era and After Common Era. Uncounted millennia have been crushed into two categories. In the same way, Karin's life had been cut cleanly in two. Though the reality of it was nothing close to clean, categorizing it made it easier to comprehend the monster of grief. For her, it was now BI and AI.

_Before Ichigo, and After Ichigo. _

The shattering glass rang through the house. Karin could hear Yuzu's squeal, and she reluctantly put down her magazine. Her sister had become quite clumsy; she was always breaking things. Karin wasn't certain if it was on purpose, but she never asked. During those first few weeks, she herself found some small release in the destruction of petty objects; a plate slipping through her fingertips, the ceramic shards scattering wildly across the cold tile floor. Something about the sound made her feel more real. But she doubted Yuzu was as reckless as she could be.

She hoisted herself up from the couch and came into the kitchen area. "Everything okay in here?"

Her sister was already crouching with the dustpan, sweeping up shards of transparent glass. She glanced up at Karin, "Yes. I just dropped a cup." Her voice had an embarrassed lilt.

"As long as you're okay,"

She nodded and smiled, "I'm sixteen! A little broken glass won't hurt me."

Karin flashed what she hoped was a decent smile before retreating. She needed the haven of her room. On her way, she passed the embarrassingly large memorial posters Isshin had insisted upon. She locked eyes with the newest one and frowned. "Don't look at me like that. I want you out of the house too."

She decided to lie on the floor and stare at the ceiling. There was a pile of homework that had to be completed and study guides to be leafed through, but she shoved them aside. Some of the papers fluttered into the air with the harshness of the push and they settled around her, adorning the plain wood floor. She didn't care.

They were sixteen now. It almost felt unfair. The big brother that had spent his life protecting them was frozen, while they continued forward relentlessly. Soon they would be older than he ever would be. She turned on her side, her dark eyes focusing on the small specks of dust that had settled on the floor. A car crash was an ultimately anticlimactic way for him to end. She had almost thought it was some kind of joke.

Three years later, she was still grappling with the matter.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the shrill trilling of her cell phone. She sprang to her feet and slid it off the desk. It was a text message.

"What do you want, Kazuya?" She grumbled, opening the message. She'd been playing soccer with him since they were ten, but he was still one of the most irritating members of her rag tag neighborhood team.

_get to the field asap we need you_

She rolled her eyes before typing her reply:

_You excel at typing. I'll be there soon. _

She slipped on a jacket and headed downstairs. She didn't know they were going to get together to play that afternoon, but she'd also been communicating with them less since she joined a legitimate soccer team at school. She passed by her father and sister where they sat watching television. It must've been the tenth season of Don Kanonji's stupid program.

"I'm heading out for a bit. Probably gonna play a few games of soccer."

Isshin turned to look at his daughter, "Be safe. And get home by seven."

"Sure thing," She nodded. She never protested the curfews he gave. Her father had enough reasons to want to ensure the safety of his children.

She wove through the streets, rubbing her hands together. It was the cusp of winter, and the slanted afternoon sunlight wasn't enough to warm the earth. She reached the field and held her hand over her eyes like a visor, looking around. Not a soul there. Literally.

"Very funny, Kazuya." She rolled her eyes. She turned, intending to begin the trek home. Boy would he regret this stupidity very soon. But something made her freeze in place. An ear-splitting cry cleaved the afternoon air in half, cutting to the very core of her heart. She shivered as a heavy sheet of reiatsu fell over her. She turned back toward the field, her heart's pace increasing.

"C'mon, Zennosuke." She whispered to herself. She didn't much like the afro-wearing shinigami that was in charge of her hometown, but she'd run into him enough times to know his name at least. She suspected he wasn't very good at his job, but she prayed for him to intervene anyways.

A monstrous creature came into view, looking vaguely like a snake with elk antlers. A long purple tongue flicked out from under a white mask of bone and it slithered toward her. She stumbled back a few steps, unsure of what to do. Whenever she'd been caught by hollows in the past, someone appeared _deus ex machina _to save her. She looked around, trying to sense if anyone was coming this time. Enough was enough.

She ran.

The hollow roared, snaking after her rapidly. Its tail hooked around, striking her across the legs. Her knees buckled and she was face-first in the turf. She scrambled to her feet, trying to run again, but she'd lost too much ground already. Even without looking back she knew the creature would catch up with her soon enough. She skidded to a halt and slowly turned to face it.

"What do you want?" She shouted. In retrospect, it was a rather stupid question to ask.

"You smell delicious." The thing's voice came in a strange gravely tone.

Without waiting to exchange anymore small talk it went back to business, striking at the girl with extended fangs. Karin leapt out of the way, tumbling into the bushes that lined the field. A sharp fallen branch stabbed into her upper thigh and she yelped. She quickly pulled the tip of it out of her skin and staggered to her feet. There was nowhere to run, and the hollow was coming at her relentlessly. She could no longer look to the sky and hope for a rescuer. She would have to take matters into her own hands.

She steadied her grip on the sizable branch and shouted, "LEAVE ME ALONE!"

A strange surge of energy flowed through her body. She wasn't certain what it was, but she channeled her anger into it, thrusting the branch forward and into the monster's skull. It emitted a disconcerting gurgling sound before fading away. The branch slipped through her fingertips and she fell to her knees, feeling weak.

"Bravo," Light applause echoed to her ears.

She turned toward the source of the sound, her eyebrows knitting in annoyance, "_You?"_

He took in the view of her injured, sweaty exterior. She wasn't the little girl Ichigo had fought to protect so many years ago. Her body had progressed to meet up with her already matured demeanor, her jeans hugging the lines of the curves she'd only recently learned to dress correctly. Her hair, now tousled from the attack, hung around facial features that had softened with age. Yep, Isshin Kurosaki had some good looking kids. His luck really wasn't fair.

"Me!" He exclaimed, a strange hint of glee in his voice. "How ya doin'?"

"Wonderfully. I was just on my way to tea with the Queen of England."

"No need to be testy,"

"Were you just standing aside and watching this whole time?" She asked in annoyance, standing again on two shaky legs.

"How'd you guess?"

Her temper flared, "Idiot! I could've died!"

"But you didn't." He sing-songed.

"Urahara-san!"

"I only wanted to see what you would do," He explained, "And you didn't disappoint me."

She raised an eyebrow, "So you were the one who-"

"Lured you here? Yes." He looked rather proud of himself.

"You stole Kazuya's phone?"

"Borrowed, borrowed. He won't notice it was even gone. It's not like any of his friends ever text him," He shrugged.

"You're kind of a tool, you know that?" Karin shook her head. "Why the hell did you do this?"

A shadow passed over his face and his joking demeanor slipped away, "Your reiatsu's matured a lot. Just now was a test of sorts." He slid his hat back to lock eyes with her, "You passed."

"What's your point?"

"Would you like to make a deal, Karin-chan?"

* * *

**AN: **Please tell me what you think! Like it? Love it? Want me to GTFO? Review & let me know!


	2. Experiment

Experiment.

The brown paper wrapping crinkled against Karin's fingertips. She wasn't ready to open it. Opening it was like an acceptance, and she wasn't quite convinced about this yet. Urahara was known to be a bit shady, and she knew that not all of the products he sold her in the past did exactly what they were said to do. So why should she take this any differently?

"It sounds too good to be true,"

"Ah, but it isn't. Cross my heart." Urahara grinned at her over the top of his folding fan.

She glanced across the table at her dubious host and raised an eyebrow, "What's in it for you?"

He fanned himself rapidly, "You think I have ulterior motives? Why, Karin-chan I'm hurt."

"C'mon, we both know it's never that simple." Her tea had gone cold long ago, but she finished it off anyways. She could taste that it was a more expensive tea than she would have expected him to serve.

He folded his fan back into his robe pocket. "You're a smart girl."

"Top of my class," She deadpanned.

"I'm offering you a chance to get stronger. All I want in return is permission to document your progress."

She raised an eyebrow, "So…I'm your science fair project? Do you mean that you want to test this out on me?"

"No, no, no." He assured, "Its prototype has been tested out plenty. We've worked out the bugs, I assure you. What I'm giving you is the final product of a very exhaustive testing process."

She looked down at the package in her palm. If what he was saying was true… "Why did you choose me?"

He finished off whatever he had been drinking. Karin presumed it was sake since she was the only one served tea. His face became a bit more serious, "You're the perfect candidate. Your reiatsu is strong enough, and I certainly believe you have the willpower to make this work." He paused, "Of course, if you're not interested in getting stronger…" He reached forward for the package.

"I didn't say that," She closed her fingers around it, blocking his reach. "I think my hesitance is justified."

"So what's your decision then?"

She carefully peeled back the plain wrapping as an answer. Nestled in the center, lay a small silver ring. She picked it up and examined it. There were symbols etched into the metal, but she had no clue what they meant. Embedded in the center of the band, there was a small plain white stone. She could've sworn she'd seen it somewhere before. Something about it gave her a feeling of déjà vu. An uneasy knot settled in her stomach.

"This is it?" She asked.

"Put it on," He encouraged.

She obeyed. A small spark ran up her arm and to her heart. She jumped a bit in surprise.

"That's normal," He waved it away, "Now hold out your hand."

She did so, taking a deep breath. No going back now. He clasped her hand in his, a faint glowing emanating from his skin. Their hands began to glow a ghostly green until it all suddenly vanished with a small spark of electricity. Her hands tingled and she drew them back from him, studying them. The ring's white stone now had veins of opalescent color spider webbing through it.

"What did you just do to me?"

"I infused the ring with your spirit energy. Now you're bonded to it."

"B-bonded?" She furrowed her eyebrows. Maybe she'd made this choice too soon.

"I already told you what this would be like," He shrugged, "Now comes the fun part."

She rubbed her hands together, trying to help the tingling sensation to subside. "And that would be?"

His lips curled into a frightening smile, "Fully awakening your spiritual pressure."

* * *

"Matsumoto?"

Silence.

"Matsumoto?"

Silence.

"MATSUMOTO!"

"GAH! Y-yes, Captain? What is it?" She sat straight up at her desk blinking quickly in the bright light.

"You fell asleep again!" Hitsugaya laid a stack of papers on her desk a little too forcefully.

She rubbed her eyes, "It's not my fault."

He scowled, "You went out drinking last night, didn't you?"

"Oh look, paperwork to sign! I'll get right on that!" She changed the subject, drawing a pen from her desk drawer as if it were a sword.

He sighed and sat back at his own desk. "That's what I thought."

"Uh, hey…Captain?" She held up one piece of paper in particular from the stack, reading over the words. Her eyebrows knit together in worry.

"What is it now?" He put down his pen and looked up at his lieutenant.

"Have you read the data on this?"

"Of course I have. I already signed all of those pages." He closed his eyes in annoyance.

"Then you know about the recent disturbances."

He opened his eyes, casting his gaze down toward the floor. "Yes, I do."

"Do you think it could be…?"

He stood, gathering his papers into a neat stack and taking them up in his arms. "I'm going to look into it myself, actually."

"So you're going to the living world?"

He nodded, "I leave in the morning."

"Be careful, all right?" She added, watching him as he began to leave.

"It's only a routine sweep. Nothing I can't handle."

But despite what he said, there was a deep-rooted seed of discomfort that sprouted in his gut. This could be nothing at all. Or it could be what they feared would happen.

* * *

**AN: **I hope you enjoyed it! Did you like it? Love it? Want me to GTFO? Please review and let me know! Feedback makes my day. Thank you!


	3. Awakened

Awakened.

Karin had no idea it would be this difficult. She panted and focused on her opponent, Ururu. Urahara had insisted that she would learn better from a more hands-on approach. She sure as hell hoped he was right, because it was starting to feel hopeless.

"Here I come," Ururu warned in an impassive tone. She lunged toward Karin, who moved to somersault out of the way. But she wasn't quite fast enough. Ururu grazed her shoulder, sending her flying back into the rock wall of the underground structure.

Karin yelped in pain, staggering to her feet. _One more hit like that and I'm done for._ She pushed a lock of hair from her eyes, taking a deep breath.

"Channel your energy!" Urahara coached from the sidelines.

"I know, I know!" Karin growled back. She looked to where Ururu stood and rolled up her sleeves. "One more time,"

Ururu would close the distance between them quickly, so she had to be on her toes. She could count on her blow being less about skill or agility, and more about force. With those in mind, Karin sprinted forward. She expelled the thoughts of fear from her mind. She'd have to approach this face-on just like that hollow. This was no different. She felt her fingertips begin to tingle, the sensation spreading through her entire body. She held onto that feeling, anchoring it in her heart. She wasn't going to let this slip away from her! Her breath left her in a scream, the volume of it surprising Karin herself.

A large flash of light illuminated the area, smoke immediately expanding away from Karin and Ururu and blocking Urahara's view. A new spiritual pressure permeated the atmosphere. It was different from the energy Karin usually displayed, like a new radio frequency. When the smoke cleared, he raised an eyebrow. Ururu crouched, her knee skinned and bleeding after evading Karin's attack. Karin stood with her back to them, panting.

"I… I DID IT!" She jumped in the air, her hand in fists. She turned to face Urahara and Ururu, a surprisingly wide smile on her face. She didn't know how long it had been since she smiled like that. "How was that?"

"Well done," He stepped forward, "Now you just have to learn to control it."

She crossed her arms, wishing she would get at least five minutes to revel in her victory. "Yeah, I know."

"Thanks to my device, you seem to be channeling your energy well." He noted, "Though maybe a little too well. I think that's enough for now. We'll tackle reiatsu suppression next."

"Supression? But I just-"

He interrupted her, "You wouldn't want to attract even more hollows than usual, would you?"

"Fine, show me the ropes then."

"Just relax," He instructed, "Sometimes intense emotion can cause your energy to flair. Don't think, and breathe deep."

She closed her eyes and tried to relax, ignoring the fact that she felt silly. She breathed deeply, feeling the pulsating energy begin to subside. "I…I think I've got it." She opened her eyes and smiled. But then her concentration slipped. Her energy spiked, the numbness returning to her fingers. It pulsated through her body and flowed out into her surroundings, like a tide lapping at their ankles. "Crap! Um…stop! Suppress!"

"It's not voice activated. You can't just talk it into submission." He advised.

"Gaaaah!" Her temper flared, frustration filling her facial features. This just caused her energy to grow more, the ring glowing a shocking blue. "H-how do I stop it?!" It seemed this device was a little too efficient. Now that her spiritual energy had been awakened in full, she couldn't tame it.

"Relax!" Urahara shouted.

She concentrated, swallowing her anger in favor for deep breathing. Her energy began to slowly drain away again. The blue glow lessened until it became very faint. She cautiously opened her eyes, feeling suddenly weak. "I…I've got it under control." Her knees gave out and she folded to the ground like a paper doll.

"Well, well," He approached her, Ururu trailing behind him. She was unconscious, all right. "I suppose you deserve a break for now."

Her body wasn't accustomed to the wear and tear. But soon enough, it would be nothing to her.

"Are you certain this is safe?"

Urahara and Ururu spun on their heels at the voice. A sleek black cat slunk out from behind a rock formation, coming to sit in front of them. Her tail flicked in irritation.

"Yoruichi!" Urahara sang, "How long have you been hiding back there?"

"You didn't answer my question," She wasn't messing around, "This poor Kurosaki girl trusts you."

He stood, sighing, "I assure you, this is a very different situation from last time. That first one was…an unfortunate fluke. She's not capable of creating the kind of energy it takes to replicate those results."

"You're operating on a rather precarious assumption," She noted, "The way she's progressing so far is identical to-"

"There was nothing else I could do," He cut her off, leaning down to lift the unconscious girl from the dirt, "If I didn't intervene, no one else would. You know the Soul Society isn't known for being proactive. They'd wait until it was too late to act."

"So you think they'll return?"

"It's quite possible," He turned to face her, "And if they do, she will be first to get caught in the crossfire. You know that as well as I do."

* * *

The city hadn't changed much at all since he'd been there last. He stood atop a rooftop, surveying the area. Everything appeared rather average, considering this was Karakura. He was beginning to wonder if the data anomalies had been a miscalculation. But before he could think on that for long, his soul pager rang loudly. He pulled it from his shihakusho and answered.

"This is Captain Hitsugaya,"

Rangiku's voice streamed through the speaker, "Captain! There's been a disturbance reported in the fourth quadrant of Karakura!"

His eyes narrowed, "I'm on it!" He snapped the device shut and sprang into action. It was easy enough to shunpo across the town. As he entered the reported area, memories began to wash back to him. This section of town had been rebuilt since he last saw it three years ago. The roads and storefronts had grown back in over the path of destruction that had once swallowed the area. A path that never should have been carved.

He shook those thoughts away and homed in on the strange energy. There was indeed something off kilter. He immediately sought it out, tracing it to its source. But he hadn't quite expected to end up where he did. He came to a screeching halt in front of a very familiar building. He could tell that the energy was emanating from one window in particular.

"It can't be…" He drew his sword, leaping up to the window. It was open, curtains flapping in a light breeze. He launched himself inside, immediately prepared for a fight. "Kurosaki!" He shouted, "I—oh…" He trailed off, lowering his sword a bit in surprise. This wasn't the Kurosaki he'd half expected to find.

Her ebony hair had grown out even more since she was thirteen. It trailed across the hardwood floor, no longer harnessed into a ponytail like before. She'd changed a lot. His eyes traced the curves of her legs where they unfolded beneath her, proceeding upwards until they reached her lips. Her school uniform was wrinkled from sleep, her breathing deep and slow. A pair of headphones hugged her ears, the cord trailing to a stereo Hitsugaya recognized as her brother's. She hugged a CD case close to her body, as if embracing a leftover piece of her fallen sibling. The bedroom was Ichigo's, and it looked exactly the same as ever. It had become a tomb only she dared enter.

His face grew warm and a dusting of pink bloomed across his cheeks. Why the hell was he just standing there looking? The idiot girl was releasing dangerous levels of energy. At this rate, she'd attract a hollow in no time at all. He shook his head in annoyance, shooing away the inexplicable flustered feeling. All Kurosakis seemed to be the same: Irresponsible and oblivious.

"Karin?" He sheathed his sword, unsure of what to do. This energy was rolling off of her in waves, emerging more violently after each pause. He'd never felt this reiatsu from her before; for a moment, he'd almost mistaken it for her brother's. He'd almost believed the oldest Kurosaki was there. It was foolishness, he knew.

Her eyes moved under their lids and her eyebrows crinkled, the peacefulness of sleep interrupted by some nightmare he didn't know. Should he wake her?

"I-Ichigo," She whimpered.

His eyes widened. He'd never heard her voice like that before. Whatever she was dreaming about…was it distressing enough to be the cause of this energy?

She grew louder, "Ichigo!"

Karin couldn't make sense of what she was seeing. She felt sick, but when she thought she was going to vomit she came to the realization that there was nothing in her stomach to throw up. There were blasts in the sky, like rogue fireworks, and she knew she wasn't supposed to be there. Smoke swirled before her eyes, and someone yelled for her to stop. She didn't listen, racing across the smoldering earth. She knew what was going to happen. She knew it, and had to stop it. She was Atlas, and his life was her globe. It was a burden she couldn't allow herself to drop.

"Ichigo!" She screamed.

But before she could lock eyes with the monster she loved so deeply, she was tackled to the ground.

"Karin!"

The voice wasn't one she expected to hear. She startled, her grey eyes opening wide in surprise. Her headphones had been yanked off her head and she was now in an upright position, being shaken in someone's arms. She pushed her assailant away, blinking as she adjusted to the light. Her hands were still shaking, and her heart pulsed in her chest like a mallet against clay. The vision had felt less like a dream and more like a memory. The realism made her feel sick. But for now, she pushed the scraps of nightmare to the back of her mind.

"T-toshiro?" She questioned, shocked. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"You were leaking reiatsu like an idiot," He crossed his arms.

"What reiatsu?"

He blinked, "Well, you _were._" The energy flow ceased as soon as he'd woken her. That was strange to say the least.

"So you just thought you could hop in my window while I was sleeping and-"

"This isn't your window," He replied.

She collected the CD and headphones and stored them away. "It's my house, so it's my window."

"I was on orders,"

"Orders to do what? Act like Edward Cullen?"

"Who?"

She rolled her eyes, "C'mon, Toshiro. I haven't seen you in… I don't know how long. And you start our reunion by trespassing in my house and shaking me violently?"

"It's not a reunion," His brows knit in irritation, "They're-"

"Orders. Yeah, I get it." She sighed, "So what're you here for?"

"Something's upsetting the balance again," He paused, his teal eyes trained on her, "And right now I'm thinking it's you."

* * *

**AN: **That's the third chap! Like it? Think I should quit my day job and get published? Despise it to the very core of your being? Hit review and let me know please!


	4. How Do You Do It?

How do you do it?

Karin became acutely aware of how sloppy her side of the bedroom was as soon as she led Toshiro inside. She'd insisted on changing rooms to finish talking; sitting in Ichigo's room for too long always made her feel uneasy. Yuzu's desk had textbooks stacked neatly, her pens aligned by size. The edges of her purple comforter were tucked under the mattress and her pillows were freshly fluffed. Toshiro noted the stark difference between the two sides of the room with a raised eyebrow. Almost directly across from Yuzu's poster of Utada Hikaru hung the image of Mia Hamm above Karin's desk. Her bed was made, if not a bit rumpled. But her desk was covered in a mess of half-written on paper and a soccer ball perched on her desk chair.

She cleared the desk a bit, moving the ball so he could take a seat. "Sorry about the mess," She wasn't, really. But it felt like the right thing to say.

He just nodded wordlessly. It was night now; the sun had dipped beyond the horizon a while ago, revealing the veins of stars that ran across the sky.

Karin cleared her throat, trying to remember where she'd left off in her explanation. She'd been trying to explain why her energy was so much more pronounced than before but was having a difficult time of it. As it turned out, she had no idea about the technical terms for it all. She sat across from him on her bed. She'd wanted to sit cross-legged, but realized she'd left her uniform on. Instead, she ran her fingertips along the hem of her skirt absent-mindedly.

"So…" She pouted, "I guess I've been in training?"

He already didn't like the sound of that, but let her continue. His eyes traveled to where her fingers played with her skirt and he noted that she'd gotten taller. Skirts looked significantly shorter on her now than they did when she was thirteen. It seemed there was a lot she hadn't quite adapted to yet, from her newly long legs to her curtains of hair.

"I've been working really hard for the past couple of weeks. I just know some basic stuff, but it's a definite start."

"Basic stuff?" He asked dubiously, "What basic stuff?"

She shrugged, her wide grey eyes looking to the ceiling innocently, "Just some beginning kido. Nothing huge."

"Kido?" He repeated in surprise.

"Urahara-san just showed me some little things. It' not a big-"

His eyebrows knit together in annoyance, "I should've known this would all lead back to _him_."

"Don't freak, Toshiro." She shook her head, "I promise I know how to hide my reiatsu. I want to avoid attracting hollows as much as you do."

That just made it worse. He closed his eyes in irritation, his tone measured. "Obviously not, since you attracted me here. You're sloppy."

She replied defensively, "I have never had problems before!"

"That you know of!" He snapped, "You were asleep, you idiot! Of course you wouldn't be aware of problems if they happen while you're unconscious!"

"You don't have to shout at me!"

"I'm not shouting!"

They glared at each other for a moment before he had collected himself enough to ask a coherent question.

"Look, obviously you meant well in all of this… What kind of training are you doing?"

She let out a short annoyed sigh before answering, "Just basic defense. I want to be able to take care of my family, Toshiro. In case you haven't noticed, Zennosuke-san kind of sucks at his job. Not to mention, you guys have been avoiding us like the plague since…" Since Ichigo died.

The words were unsaid, but they hung in the air nonetheless.

She shook her head, "I'm using this thing that helps me form kido attacks. It's not a big deal."

That piqued his interest. "What thing?"

Without a word, she held out her right hand, showing him the delicate silver band that wrapped around her finger. His expression changed almost imperceptibly, but the slight angle of his eyebrows was enough to tell Karin she'd done something wrong.

"Urahara-san gave you this?"

"Yes," She tried to shrug it off like it was nothing, "I promise I'm not doing anything radical."

"Take that off right now."

"Wh-what?"

"You heard me,"

"I can't do that,"

"Let me see it again,"

"No," She replied defiantly.

"Karin-chan," He replied, irritation seeping into his voice.

"Fine," She rolled her eyes, holding out her hand. To her surprise, he wrapped his hand around hers and drew her fingers closer to his face, inspecting the ring close-up. His fingers were warm against hers and she was surprised at the firm but gentle grip.

But then he surprised her even more by yanking roughly on her finger.

"What gives?" She demanded, trying to pry her hand loose from his.

He yanked at the ring once more, "It won't come off!"

"I told you I couldn't take it off! You thought I was joking?" She spat, wrenching her hand loose from his. "Urahara-san said it's bonded to me…or something." She looked away from him, shrugging. "Whatever that means,"

Instead of replying, he got out his soul pager and flipped it open. She watched his fingers dance nimbly across the keys as he punched in some kind of message. He shut the device, his facial expression tighter than before. He'd have to deal with this whole ring ordeal in the morning.

"Are…are you going to leave now?" She asked.

He shook his head. "If my theory is right, and you leak reiatsu in your sleep, I should stick around and make sure things are okay."

"Stick around?" She asked, "No way. You're not staying in my room. Yuzu-"

"She won't know I'm here. She can't see me."

He still seemed concerned about her ring, but she didn't ask any more. She was glad to have moved on. "I don't care. You are not watching over me. I'll be fine. I've been fine for weeks."

"Judging by that catnap of yours, I'd just say you were oblivious to how dangerous you are." He shook his head.

She furrowed her eyebrows, her voice raising a touch, "Oblivious? I-"

"Karin!"

The two froze, mid-argument.

"Karin-chan!" Yuzu's voice traveled to them from downstairs. She sounded distressed, her voice quavering as she shouted.

Karin leapt to her feet and moved to the door, "I'm not done discussing this,"

She made her way quietly through the hall. Isshin had gone to bed a while ago, and while he was a deep sleeper she always tip-toed by his door as if she'd wake him. She could sense that Hitsugaya had stepped out into the hall after her, but she didn't stop him. It didn't matter what he was doing: Her sister needed her.

"K-karin…" Her voice was softer now, and Karin could tell it was coming from the living room.

She entered, hearing the low hum of the television. The room was dark except for the flickering glow of the screen. The light fell unevenly across Yuzu's face where she lay curled into a ball on the couch. She'd fallen into an uneasy sleep. Hitsugaya watched Karin as she shook her head, going to turn the television off. She unfolded a blanket from the foot of the couch and put it over her sister's small form. It was a caring gesture he'd never seen her make before.

"Is she all right?" His voice almost sounded too loud to him.

She nodded, still looking down at her sister. "Sometimes she calls me in her sleep. I've never asked her about it though."

It occurred to him that Karin, too, called out to someone in her sleep. Only it was impossible for her someone to answer. She stood with her back to him for quite some time, only illuminated by the light from the kitchen that spilled over his shoulders.

Finally, she spoke. It was quiet, for her. "You can stay the night."

* * *

Hitsugaya attempted to settle into his futon as he awaited the return of the oldest remaining Kurosaki child. He had been surprised to see Karin pull the thin mattress from her brother's closet. Now he lay and stared at the ceiling. That ring of hers…it looked remarkably similar to… He couldn't let himself think about it. He'd just have to confront that madman Urahara tomorrow. He couldn't help but be suspicious that the man was taking advantage of Karin's trust. The thought made his fingers contract into fists around the thin blanket.

"Toshiro?" The door swung open, light from the hall spilling across the floor. Karin entered, holding a folded rectangle of fabric. "I was just wondering if you needed an extra blanket."

"No," His voice emerged in a more curt tone than he'd intended.

She ignored it. She set the blanket on her desk and stepped around where he lay across the floor. "I'm going to bed then. Do you mind if I turn off the light?"

"Whatever," The lamplight was so weak it hardly touched the far end of the room anyway. As Karin drew closer to the lamp, he was able to make out her form more clearly. He didn't know what he'd expected the Kurosaki girl to sleep in, but he was surprised at what he saw. Her shorts were thin cotton that were hardly long enough to cover her bum. Many of the things she owned seemed to be from before some growth spurt, and were consequently now the wrong length. But that wasn't the thing that struck him.

It was her shirt.

The colors looked drained in the dim light, but he recognized it still the same. It had belonged to Ichigo. She clicked off the lamp, and turned around to face him. In the moonlight he could make out the words "nice vibe" printed across her chest. Something about it made him avert his eyes.

"What're you looking at, pervert?"

He sat up in shock, "I wasn't looking at anything!"

"Then why'd you look away so quickly?" She raised an eyebrow. "God, even shinigami boys are gross."

"Th-that's not it!" He stammered.

She climbed into her bed, pulling the blankets up to her chest. "I'm sure," She finished sarcastically.

He muttered under his breath, but she didn't quite catch what he said.

After a minute or two of silence, she probed into the darkness, "Are you still awake?"

"Yeah,"

He could hear the hesitation in the breath she drew. "I think…" She paused, "As long as you're here we should play soccer together sometime."

The two statements had been in two entirely different tones and he knew right away she was avoiding saying something. But he didn't feel the need to push it. "If there's time," He allowed.

"We haven't played together in ages," She sounded far away for a moment, before adding with a chuckle, "I bet you've gotten rusty."

He opened his mouth to reply when the bedroom door creaked open. The dim light from the hall felt blinding as it fell across his face and he squinted at the figure. It didn't take long to figure out who it was, by the sobbing sounds they were making.

Karin sat bolt upright in bed, "Y-yuzu?"

Yuzu ran across the room, slamming the door. It was a miracle she didn't step on the Captain's face as she made her way to Karin's bed. Her tears were coming hot and fast and she struggled for breath. Karin peeled back the covers and her sister crawled in.

She wrapped her arms around Yuzu protectively and asked, "Was it one of those nightmares again?"

"N-no!" Yuzu sniffled.

"What is it then?" She closed her eyes and ran her fingers comfortingly through her sister's light brown hair.

"It was a good dream. About Ichigo." She sobbed.

"Then why're you crying?"

"Because I woke up,"

Hitsugaya could see enough through the darkness to watch Karin's eyes pop open in surprise. She pulled her sister in closer to her and held her tightly as she sobbed into her shoulder. He could see Karin's face above Yuzu's shoulder and could see that she bit her lower lip –hard—her eyes closing tightly. This moment wasn't meant to have an audience. He turned over on his side and faced the wall.

"Shhh, Yuzu. Breathe. I'm here, all right?" Karin's voice was softer than he imagined was possible, "Everything's fine,"

"E-everything's not fine," Yuzu stammered.

She didn't have a reply for that. Instead, she held her close until her sobs subsided. Then she pulled back from the embrace a bit, "I'm going to get you a glass of water, okay? I think it'll help."

Hitsugaya listened to the creak of the mattress as the dark-haired sister climbed out of bed. Her footfalls were light across the cold wood floor and grew even softer as they receded down the hallway. He felt too awake.

Yuzu whispered to herself, unaware of the pair of ears listening in the darkness, "I've never seen you cry, Karin. Not even once." She sniffled, "How do you do it?"

* * *

**AN: **This was mostly highlighting how Karin's continued to mature in the face of losing her brother. In a way, she's taken on a bit of his role in the family.

I hope you guys enjoyed it. Any suggestions? Critiques? Death threats? Let me know by leaving a review! Your feedback makes my day!


	5. Blue Bladed Rage

Blue Bladed Rage

Hitsugaya made sure to rise before the Kurosaki sisters did. He stood and quietly folded the bedding Karin had gotten for him. Karin's energy had been perfectly stable through the night, and he deemed it okay for him to leave for the time being. As he slipped on his captain's haori, he glanced at where the girls slept. Yuzu was curled up, her form tucked into her sister's side. Her face, which had been contorted into sobs before, was now peaceful. He noted that Karin still had her fingers loosely intertwined with her sister's. The visual made it dawn on him that maybe Karin was the one holding the little family together. He looked away, not wanting to dwell on it.

He was out of the house in a flash, letting his shunpo carry him down the road as the sun rose.

* * *

Karin's eyes fluttered open, the morning light spilling across her face. The bed was empty next to her, and she knew immediately that Yuzu had opened the curtains to let the light in in an effort to rouse her. She sat up, rubbing at her eyes. She sure as Hell didn't feel rested. With Yuzu's crying, she hadn't gotten to sleep until really late. Even after her sister had passed out, she could only lay there and stare at the ceiling. She hoped Hitsugaya had been able to get some rest.

"Toshiro!" She exclaimed to herself, looking around the room. The bedding that he'd used was gone, and his energy signature was nowhere in her home that she could tell. He'd packed up and left before she'd even awoken. Irritation bristled along the edge of her mind, her lips curving into a pout as she crossed her arms. "Leave without even saying good-bye, why don't you?"

"Karin! Breakfast! Get up!" Yuzu's voice filtered up to her from the kitchen.

"Coming!" She shouted back, leaping out of bed and pulling a fresh school uniform from her drawers. "Be down in a sec!"

Maybe it was for the best that the shinigami was gone. She didn't exactly wish to discuss the previous night. If Yuzu had known who was there listening to her heaving sobs, she'd be humiliated. Karin shook the thought from her mind, sliding the uniform's pale yellow sweater over her head. The uniform hadn't changed much since her own brother was a student at Karakura High.

Isshin's seat at the breakfast table was empty, and Yuzu was sealing his portion of breakfast in a container when Karin strolled into the kitchen. She looked to her sister curiously, "Where's Goat-Chin?"

"He had a meeting so he left early. He might be home late too. It depends." She explained.

"Whatever, more for me." Karin shrugged, grabbing a plate and beginning the process of eating as much food as she could before he sister nagged her about running late. She worked through a small pile of scrambled eggs, washing it down with orange juice. The television was on low in the background, some story about an office building collapse playing across the screen.

"Isn't it awful?" Yuzu asked, mistaking her sister's spacing out for interest.

"Huh?" She glanced at Yuzu, swallowing a bite of toast. "Er…yeah. That's pretty bad." No one had died, but a few early risers had been injured in the fray. She didn't see what the big deal was if there were no casualties.

A knock on the front door made Yuzu perk up a bit. Still holding a spatula, she made her way toward the door. "I'll get it!"

She grunted in acknowledgement, taking another swig of juice.

"Karin! It's for you!" Her sister called from the entryway.

She dragged herself up from the table and yawned, heading to the door. Who on earth could it be at this hour? Definitely not one of the deadbeats from the neighborhood that she played soccer with.

"Good morning, Karin-san!" The chipper voice was instantly recognizable. Karin was very familiar with the dark-haired girl that stood in their doorway. She was one year behind her in school, but they were on the same all-girls soccer team. She could be kind of a gossip, but she was a good player and Karin respected that. She was also one of the few players that wasn't absolutely terrified of her, which she arguably respected more.

"Oh hey, Momoka-san." She nodded, a friendly grin perched on her lips. "What're you doing here so early?"

She blinked her light eyes rapidly as if she'd only just remembered, "Oh! Well I was on my way to school and thought I'd drop by to let you know that they called an extra practice this afternoon. I don't know if anyone told you or not, so I wanted to make sure."

"I hadn't heard. Thanks."

Momoka smiled, "No problem! See you later!"

"Definitely," Karin nodded as her teammate turned to leave. She shut the door, about to go to grab her school bag.

"Karin?" Yuzu asked.

"Hmm?"

"Isn't the practice field right across from where that building collapsed? Shouldn't practice be cancelled?"

She shrugged, "It's not like the rubble flew across the road onto the field. Besides, it'll probably be mostly cleaned up by after school."

Yuzu smiled apologetically, "Yeah, you're right."

* * *

Even though he'd denied the tea Urahara had offered him, two cups still sat on the table. They were growing cold quickly, Hitsugaya's annoyance causing the air in the room to drop by a few degrees. They'd been going around in circles for long enough, and he was tired of it.

"I looked at it myself," He folded his arms across his chest, his fingertips resting across the fabric of his black shihakusho. "It's the same kind of ring Kurosaki-san had when he-"

"Whoa, whoa, Hitsugaya." The shopkeeper interrupted him drowsily.

"It's Hitsugaya-taicho to you." He gritted his teeth in irritation.

"Okay,_ Hitsugaya-taicho._" He retorted, "This is getting very close to an accusation, if I'm not mistaken by the tone of your voice."

"You're not mistaken. Karin-chan is not some pawn in your game. Her family has been through enough." He stared him down, teal eyes hard. "I'm ordering you to remove it from her possession. Today."

He sighed, tipping his hat back from his eyes to get a good view of the captain, "I'm afraid you're too late. That isn't possible. It's bound to her spirit until she dies."

"But helping raise her reiatsu is just what _they _would want!"

"Opposite!" He fanned himself, "I'm giving her a way to protect herself. You know that since _the incident _shinigami have been ordered to generally leave the Kurosakis be. She's safer if she can defend herself and her family from hollows."

"But if _they _come back-"

"If they come back, I have a backup plan. A failsafe, if you will."

His eyebrows angled down in a threatening expression, "If you hurt her…"

Urahara raised his eyebrows, "I wouldn't dream of it~"

Hitsugaya took a deep breath, "Just what kind of backup plan do you have in place?"

He lowered his fan, a small smile creeping across his face. "I'm glad you asked." He looked to the door, nodding his head. Much to Hitsugaya's surprise, Isshin Kurosaki stepped into the room, followed by Tessai. Urahara's eyes were once again shadowed by his hat as his gaze returned to the surprised captain. "Allow us to explain."

Tessai closed the door firmly.

* * *

It was the end of the school week, and Karin was ready to just get to the weekend already. After what felt like an eternity, she found herself making her way across the quad to the girl's locker room. Her classes had been a blur, defined only be the constant struggle to remain conscious. She could really use a nap. Nonetheless, after school practice wouldn't be bad. In fact, it would probably help her blow off some major steam. But she was dismayed to find the door to the locker room locked. A note was taped to the metal, typed out in clean black ink.

_Karakura High Girl's Soccer Team: Do not dress out. Report to the field immediately. _

She raised an eyebrow at the odd mandate and turned on her heels, heading to the field. "Wonder what that's all about?"

When she made it to the field, she was surprised to find that she was the first one to arrive. Generally, Momoka was the early bird. She set her school bag on the grass, using it as a cushion to sit on. The minutes ticked by, and she was beginning to wonder if this was some joke akin to the one Urahara had used to lure her out to the neighborhood field not too long ago. The early winter wind picked up for a moment, biting at her cheeks. She drew her arms into her chest, and tried to remain patient.

Her eyes wandered to the wreckage of the building across the road. It was just beyond the school fence, the grey concrete crumbled like someone had taken an oversized hammer to it. It was pretty remarkable that no one had gotten killed that morning, she had to admit.

"Oh my gosh!"

The voice made her turn in surprise. Yuzu was approaching her from across the field, hands held firmly at her side in an attempt to keep her skirt from blowing up. Her hair was in disarray and her eyebrows furrowed in consternation.

"Yuzu?" Karin called to her, standing. "What're you doing here?"

"Ah! Hi, Karin!" She came to stand next to her, "There was a note on the door of my choir club that said we were meeting here today."

"Weird…there was a note on the locker room that told me to come straight here too." She didn't like the direction this was heading already.

"Do you think it was some sort of mistake?"

"I…I don't know," She shrugged, slinging her school bag over her shoulder. "But it looks like we're the only ones showing up, so why don't we just head home?" Something was giving her a strange feeling, like cold fingers being dragged slowly across her arms. She didn't like it at all.

"But-"

The rest of her reply was drowned out by a deafening roar in Karin's ears. She took a step back, looking around in concern. "Did you hear that?"

"Hear what?" She looked to her older twin sister in confusion.

"That!" The shrieking was reprised, and Karin tackled her sister to the grass just in time to dodge the swipe of deadly talons. A black portal appeared, disturbing the air like ripples across water. The oversized arm of a hollow emerged from it, followed quickly by the rest of the body. Her stomach dropped.

"Wh-what was that for?" Yuzu asked, startled.

"Run," Her voice came out much quieter than she anticipated as she stared into the monster's soulless eyes. It suddenly became very clear to her that the building across the street hadn't just collapsed on its own. This hollow was to blame. Only this time, it wanted its meal.

"What?"  
"RUN!" She sprang to her feet, yanking her sister along with her. The hollow's claws lashed out after them as they fled. The white bone mask capped a face only a mother could love, the muscles of the leopard-like body rippling as it gave chase. They couldn't outrun it. It was abundantly clear to Karin.

She swiveled around to face the creature. She wasn't great with kido, but she'd have to try. What was the incantation Urahara had shown her? She wracked her brain to remember. Yuzu stopped running and turned to look at her sister, uncertain.

"Um…Ye lord! Mask of bone and flesh! No…that's wrong!" She shouted.

The hollow took that as its opportunity to strike. All Karin could see was a flash of claws before she was thrown back. She'd tried to dodge it, but the hollow's reach was so wide that she couldn't. Blood erupted from her shoulder and the crumpled to the ground.

"K-karin!" Yuzu began to run to her side.

"Stop!" She commanded her sister, dragging herself to her feet. "Don't come any closer!"

Yuzu froze.

"Ye lord! Mask of blood and flesh, all creation," She had to remember, "flutter of wings, ye who bears the name of Man! Inferno and pandemonium, the sea barrier surges, march on to the south!" A glowing red orb gathered at her fingertips, a blue light sparking from her ring as she channeled her reiatsu. She hadn't been able to perform this kido well, but it was all she could remember. "Hado 31! Shukkaho!"

The red orb of energy launched from her palms and right at the monster. The backlash of it sent her sailing backwards into the grass. She was just grateful most of it had gone in the correct direction. She coughed, the smoke from her less than perfect assault filling her lungs. There was a moment of stillness. Had she done it?

"H-help!" Her sister's squeal was all she heard before she saw the lethal claws lashing out at her again. She rolled out of the way just in time, the talons tearing up the turf.

"Where are you?!" She shouted for her sister. Her kido had created too much smoke in the backfire and she'd lost visual on Yuzu and the hollow. But it cleared away very suddenly, the hollow's long tail sweeping the smoke away as it glided through the air. It hit her right in the gut, sending her sprawling back into the grass. She coughed, tasting the bitter edge of blood in her mouth.

"Karin-" Her sister's scream was cut off in the middle.

She turned quickly to see that the hollow had reappeared behind her. Its claws dug deep into her sister's back. She had been trying to stand, and was now skewered. Her eyes widened in shock, glazing over as her jaw grew slack. The hollow yanked its talons out of her and she collapsed to the ground like a crushed paper doll, blood pooling around her.

"Karin-chan!" Another voice rang out across the field, accompanied by a familiar energy. Hitsugaya raced toward the scene, his eyes narrowing at the sight of the younger Kurosaki. But Karin didn't notice his arrival.

Something inside her broke.

The ring erupted in a blue glow, the light rushing forward to consume her body as she filled with rage. "YOU BASTARD!" She screamed, running forward.

Reiatsu pulsated off of her, hitting Hitsugaya in powerful waves. It was actually visible in the form of blue light, and it felt heavy against his skin. He'd felt energy like this before, but it was much more powerful than he ever thought Karin would be capable of.

It felt just like Ichigo's.

"Karin-chan! Stop!" He shouted, running forward. The radiant light of her energy was blinding him. She couldn't control it at all, which made her all the more dangerous.

She didn't stop. She was vaguely aware of some object in her hands as she ran, the sudden solidness of the energy that had been accumulated in her palms not even fazing her. She leapt forward, bringing the object down upon the creature's head. "NEVER TOUCH MY SISTER AGAIN!"

With a piercing scream, the hollow disintegrated.

The light died down enough for him to see. A wind raced across the field, carrying clouds of leftover reiatsu. Karin stood where the hollow once had, her body glowing blue. His eyes widened in shock as they travelled down to her hands. Her fingers had a white-knuckle grip around a strange blade. It looked like someone had attached a katana handle to the blade of a scythe. It curved wickedly, its edges flickering. It was…made of her reiatsu.

He'd never seen anything like it.

"Karin-chan?" He ventured.

She slowly turned to face him, the strange weapon vanishing from her hand. "T-toshiro?" She breathed heavily, blood staining the front of her uniform. "Took you…long enough…"

"Are you okay?"

"Of course! I'm fine-" She stopped mid-sentence. Her eyes widened and the blue glow ceased immediately. Her knees buckled and she folded to the grass.

He ran to her side. Yuzu would be fine, just some surface wounds that could be healed well enough with some kido. But he'd never seen Karin exert herself like that before. The amount of energy she'd produced… He crouched by her side, brushing strands of hair from her face. A loud purple bruise was already blooming across the apple of her cheek. She was out cold. His expression hardened.

"This is progressing too quickly." And then another thing, which he knew was true, "I should've gotten here faster…"

* * *

**AN: **Sorry this chapter was so long! I just needed to establish some important things! It will get romance-y in the future, I promise. There's an overarching Hitsukarin plot.

Tell me what you thought of this chapter! Did you like it? Were you bored? Did you loathe every sentence? Let me know! Your feedback makes my day!


	6. Flickering Memories

Flickering Memories

She hadn't returned home in a long while. Traveling was dangerous due to the extra security measures they had in place, but this time it was necessary. Her light footsteps echoed down the dark hall, the flickering light of candles dancing across her face. She came to a large wooden door that was decorated ornately with carvings. The wood finish was mostly gone, the grain of the wood worn. The whole place felt decayed. She knocked twice.

"Come in,"

She did as she was told, the doors slamming shut behind her as she entered. The room was darker than the hallway, one lone candle in the center of the floor. She came to sit on a cushion by the candle. The face of the woman that had called her in was hidden in shadow, but the edges of her moth-eaten silk kimono were just visible.

"Kohaku-dono," She nodded politely.

"No need for formalities," She waved it off, taking a sip of tea. "I just want your report."

She cleared her throat, "Things unfolded better than we anticipated. It seems Kurosaki Karin is developing much faster than we previously thought. Her energy is a bit unstable, reacting to extremes in her emotions. But that may end up being advantageous to us."

"And the other one?"

"Kurosaki Yuzu doesn't seem to have much noticeable reiatsu. She couldn't even see the hollow." She kept her expression neutral as she delivered the bad news.

Kohaku made a small noise of dismay, "That's too bad. But we'll just have to make it work with only Kurosaki Karin. It may seem unlikely that she will be enough, but I have ways."

"May I ask something?" She folded her hands in her lap.

"Of course,"

"Why not use our original target?"

She leaned forward just enough for the light to fall across her red lips. They turned down into a sharp frown. "This isn't just about the end goal anymore," She chastised, "Our original target has made this into a question of personal vengeance." She slammed her tea cup down a little too forcefully. "We've been disgraced for the last time."

"Should I proceed with our original plan of action, then?"

A wicked smile bloomed across her lips, "Absolutely."

"I will do just that." She stood and excused herself, the doors shutting with a dull thud behind her.

"It's time we finish this," Kohaku took a slow sip of her tea, "I'll be seeing you very soon, Kurosaki Karin."

* * *

Karin awoke with a gasp. She sat up quickly, feeling disoriented. She was in her bed, the covers pulled up over her. She threw the blankets back and slid her legs out over the edge of the mattress. Night had fallen, and she'd lost hours of her life to unconsciousness. Her head ached dully and she felt stiff. The last thing she remembered was being angry. No, not angry…livid. The rest was a bit of a blur, but the burning ache she felt on her shoulder told her she'd definitely gotten her hands dirty.

White bandages snaked around her chest, covering a fresh gash across her shoulder. She frowned, touching the spot gingerly. It was starting to come back to her: The strange sign redirecting her to the soccer field, the hollow, losing control of her energy and attacking. There had been some kind of sword…or was it a scythe? She couldn't remember, but it was gone now. There was something else…

The image of Yuzu laying face-down in a pool of blood flashed in her mind. She froze. "Y-yuzu…" That's what made her lose control in the first place. "Yuzu!" She shouted. Where was she now? She hopped to her feet, ignoring the pain that shot through her. She threw on the first shirt she could find, not caring if it didn't match her uniform skirt. "Yuzu!" She called again, flinging the door open and running down the stairs.

"Karin?" The voice came from the kitchen.

"Yuzu!" She rushed into the room, following her sister's voice. She braced herself against the counter, cringing in pain.

"I'm right here," Yuzu untied her apron, staring at her in concern, "I'm glad to see you're up. How're you feeling?"

"Don't run like that, idiot. You'll re-open your wounds." The harsh voice came from behind Yuzu. She stepped aside, revealing where Hitsugaya sat at the table. He was in a gigai, sipping a glass of water.

"Y-you!" Karin's eyebrows furrowed in anger, "Don't call me an idiot! I was trying to make sure my sister was safe, damn it!"

"Calm down, Karin!" Yuzu scolded, "Hitsugaya-kun saved you, remember? He's in town for a bit and happened to find us in the nick of time! I invited him to stay for dinner, if that's all right. He deserves a good meal."

Her eyebrow twitched, "Saved me?"

"From the dog! You know! The big scary stray dog that came after us while we were walking home from school?" She looked at her sister like she was crazy.

"Dog?" Her lips turned down in disbelief, "You think a dog did this?" She pointed to her shoulder.

Hitsugaya cleared his throat loudly and shot Karin a threatening glare from over Yuzu's shoulder. It was like he was prompting her to go along with her sister's half baked story.

"Er…" She hesitated, watching his glare grow increasingly menacing. "A dog. Totally a dog. Sure, why not?"

Yuzu placed a hand on her sister's forehead as if checking for a fever, "A-are you okay, Karin?"

She swatted her hand away, "Yeah, yeah. I just got mauled by a dog, I'm allowed to be a bit scrambled."

"As long as you'll be all right," Yuzu nodded, looking her up and down. She took note of the subtle angle she held her shoulders at, as if fighting off a sharp pain. She'd grown accustomed to her trying to act like nothing was wrong. "I'll be right back. I'll go get you some ibuprofen."

"I don't need any-"

She cut her sister off with a smile, "C'mon, Karin."

She sighed in reply, going to sit across from Hitsugaya at the table. Yuzu exited, humming a bit to herself. Karin immediately set her sights on Hitsugaya, leveling a glare at him.

"What's all this crap about a dog? And why is she all healed up, but not me?"

He sighed, "I replaced her memories of the hollow attack."

"You screwed with her head?" Her voice rose in outrage.

The angle of his eyebrows changed slightly, some emotion Karin couldn't catch flickering through his eyes for a moment before he returned to glaring. "It was necessary. I couldn't let her remember the incident."

She looked away from him, grumbling. "Friggen shinigami…"

"As for her wounds, they were fairly shallow so I was able to heal them with kido. But yours…they were exacerbated by releasing too much energy too fast. Your body's not used to that yet, Karin-chan. So it'll heal slower as your reiatsu replenishes."

She rolled her eyes, "Figures. I'll be out of soccer for at least a few days."

He found it slightly funny that soccer was the thing that crossed the Kurosaki girl's mind at a time like that. "You need the rest."

"Rest? I need to train!" She recalled the strange weapon she'd produced with excitement, "Did you see what happened out there? I need to figure out how to do that again!"

He thought her enthusiasm was a bit inappropriate, "Yeah. I saw a girl that had no control over her own energy. Your sister could've gotten mixed up in your attack. You're too reckless."

"Well excuse me!" She huffed, "That thing was going to her!"

"And you could've inflicted as much damage to her as that hollow had. "

She took in a sharp breath, as if he'd slapped her. "I was protecting her." Her eyes grew dark in a way he'd never seen before, "In case you've forgotten, no one else is left to do that anymore."

He felt his features twist in surprise, he was going to say something else but she rose to her feet. She didn't even look at him, her fists clenched at her sides. He felt a small wave of reiatsu roll off of her. What he'd said hurt her because deep down, she knew it may have been true. She was doing the best she could, but it never seemed to be enough.

She would never be her brother.

"There's not much left, but I found the ibuprofen!" Yuzu chirped, re-entering.

"I'm going back to bed." Karin spat, "I'm not hungry."

She turned and left without looking back.

* * *

Just outside the window of the guest bedroom, there was a small flat outcropping of roof. Karin sometimes went out there to think when things became too much. She found herself staring up at the stars where they emerged from the blanket of black sky. She was still in a thin shirt and school uniform skirt, the cold air making her shiver. She was just above the dining room and could make out snatches of conversation through the open window below.

"I'm sorry about Karin, Hitsugaya-kun. I don't know what's gotten into her." Yuzu's voice was apologetic.

"It's fine,"

"So why has an eligible young man such as yourself made a house call after all these years, hm? Would my Karin-chan have something to do with it?" Isshin asked, "She's growing into quite the young woman, if you haven't noticed~"

Karin rolled her eyes, trying to shut out their conversation. So she needed control, huh? She'd freakin' show him control. Taking a breath, she tried to follow Urahara's advice. He'd told her that meditation was a good way to gain more control. Which sounded all fine and dandy until you actually tried to meditate. She'd given up every time previously. She just couldn't quiet her mind.

This time, she was driven. She was going to relax and clear her mind if it was the last thing she did. She folded her legs, resting her hands on her knees. Taking deep breaths, she closed her eyes and tried to let go of the frayed nerves in the pit of her stomach. She didn't know how long it would take, but she was willing to invest all night in the endeavor if she had to. Slowly but surely, the conversation from the dining room below began to fade. She wasn't sure when, but eventually she stopped hearing the voices altogether.

Her pulse slowed to a constant lazy drumming and she felt her lungs inflate and deflate with a similarly relaxed rhythm. Time seemed to stop. At first, all she saw was the black of her closed eyelids. But slowly, shreds of other images began to appear. In the beginning, she couldn't make sense of them. There was a road, the asphalt being torn up the center by some unseen force. Shattered glass glinted like confetti as it flew through the air. She saw a flash of black and white, but it was gone before she could process what it was.

Then the images assaulted her again, this time a bit more solid than the last. Buildings with their tops blown off flanked a street full of rubble. It looked familiar, but she couldn't place it. Specks of blood gleamed on the pavement. Then sound: A loud wailing like a lamentation. It was quickly cut off. More drops of blood. The images were coming at her faster and faster, but something was preventing the random elements in her vision from connecting into a coherent message. But then one picture dominated her mind: A familiar pair of tawny eyes.

She knew instantly that they belonged to Ichigo.

She wanted to know more, but she was being pulled out of this state by some outside source. She quickly returned to herself, feeling mildly annoyed. Her eyes snapped open and she turned to see what was going on. She froze mid-movement, surprised to find a jacket strewn across her shoulders. It was then that she noticed Hitsugaya leaning out of the window.

"What's this?" She asked. She was still miffed at him, but she controlled her tone.

"You had goose bumps and I thought you'd fallen asleep." He answered her curtly.

"I was meditating." She frowned, "And I was really on to something too."

Only one thought came to his mind: _Since when does she meditate? _He frowned apologetically, climbing out to sit next to her. "Sorry,"

"Whatever, it's fine." She pulled the jacket off, "You can have this back."

"No, keep it. You need it more than I do right now."

She shrugged, slipping it back on and trying to ignore the fact that it smelled like him. Ignore the fact that she even recognized his scent. "What're you doing in the guest bedroom anyways? I thought you were just staying for dinner."

"Your father invited me to stay the night," He answered.

She looked at him in disbelief, "And you accepted?"

"I don't really have anywhere else to go," He glanced at her, "The better question is why are you out here?"

"I just go here to think sometimes, so I figured it would be a good place to meditate." She couldn't shake the bizarre feeling those images in her mind gave her. They felt too similar to the things she'd seen in that dream the day before. But for now, she'd have to put that aside. "After the kitchen…I was pretty pissed. I know I was letting my energy go too much and thought this would help reign it in." She shrugged.

He stayed quiet for a long moment, opting to look into the stars rather than her grey eyes. "It worked. Your energy's pretty stable now."

She drew her knees to her chest, hugging the jacket closer against the cold night air. "Yeah, I guess."

"You don't have to take it upon yourself, you know."

"Huh?" She blinked at him in confusion.

He turned to look at her, his teal eyes seeming bright even under the dim light of the moon. "Zennosuke-san patrols Karakura regularly and if things ever get too bad, the Soul Society will always send him backup."

She sighed, unwrapping her arms from around her legs and shifting to face him. "It's not about patrols." She feared maybe he just wouldn't get it, "The Soul Society isn't perfect from what I can tell. I need to be able to protect my family from the things they don't see coming. They need me to be strong."

He noted the way she intertwined her fingers, as if holding her own hand. Earlier when she'd been hugging her legs it looked practiced, like she'd sat in that position many times. It occurred to him vaguely that maybe she didn't always receive the comfort from others that she deserved. He searched her eyes for a moment, realizing for the first time that she'd almost grown into a different person in his absence. "Is that fair to you?"

She shook her head, "I knew you wouldn't get it…" She looked like she was about to stand, but he placed a hand on hers gently to keep her from going. She froze, unsure of what to do. The gesture had a weight behind it that she didn't understand. She glanced at him, feeling her cheeks flush. "What is it?"

"You shouldn't have to carry this burden alone, Karin-chan. You're just a kid." His voice was quiet.

"Kid? I've grown since your last visit, in case you haven't noticed." She looked away from him, "Besides, I'm fine. I'm always fine."

He felt her fingers tense beneath his and wondered if she was looking away because it was a lie.

* * *

**AN: **Please please review! I'd love to know how I'm doing! It only takes 30 seconds & it makes my day. Thank you! (:


	7. Chain of Fate

Chain of Fate

It was still a bit of a novelty to see Hitsugaya around his shop so often. Urahara emerged from the trapdoor in the wooden floor to find the young captain seated at a small table across from Tessai. Neither were talking and the shopkeeper had to chuckle at the palpable awkwardness in the air. He closed the door and took his fan from his kimono, fanning himself brightly.

"What brings you here again, Hitsugaya-kun?"

He raised an eyebrow in annoyance, "Hitsugaya-tai-"

"Taicho." Urahara spoke over him, "I know, I know~"

"You wanted me to keep you updated, so here I am." Hitsuagay explained.

Urahara pouted, plopping down at one of the empty sides of the table. "Why so dour?"

"I'm very busy,"

"Well, you needn't worry about Karin-chan, if that's part of your busyness." Urahara noted, "She's downstairs right now, under Yoruichi-san's capable supervision." He spoke of his odd underground training facility as if it were a common garage.

"I told you, you need to back off. Things are progressing just like-"

He folded his fan, placing it down on the table. "Oh, Hitsugaya-taicho! I promise I know what I'm doing." His singsong tone lowered, "Besides, she's just meditating now. That's all we've been allowing her to do lately." He smiled a bit, "She's getting very frustrated with me~"

"As if that's my fault." His voice picked up an irritated bite, "Can I just let you know what's going on now?"

Tessai spoke up, "We're waiting for one more guest."

"That's right! He's actually running late." Urahara interjected.

"Who could possibly-"

Hitsugaya was interrupted by the careless racket of a door being slid open too quickly. Isshin Kurosaki stepped in, still in his gigai, his doctor's coat slung over his arm. It was the first time in a long time Hitsugaya had seen him in a suit instead of his shinigami shihakusho. Even just the other night at dinner, he hadn't been in his suit. He cleaned up pretty well, the captain had to admit to himself.

"Sorry I'm late!" He announced, "My last appointment ran long. The patient bled all over my office." He pouted. He spoke so casually, it was slightly off-putting.

"Bled?" Hitsugaya asked in spite of himself, "Are they all right?"

"Of course!" He concluded, sitting between Hitsugaya and Tessai. "They're under my care. Why wouldn't they be?"

Rather than answer, Hitsugaya frowned and turned his gaze to Urahara. "May I proceed _now_?"

"Yes, yes!"

He cleared his throat, "I was able to take a sample of some residual energy I found at the school. I've sent it back for analysis, but the results haven't come in yet. It looks like Karin-chan and her sister were lured out and attacked on purpose." He explained in a very matter of fact tone before cutting a sharp glance at Urahara, "I don't believe now is a good time to train her."

"Oh, to the contrary." Urahara retorted, "It couldn't be a better time."

"And why is that?" He asked.

"We all knew this was inevitable~" He paused, tilting his hat back so he could make eye contact with the captain, "She has a reason to fight. She's been trying for years to be okay with being virtually powerless, but with the way things're going, if I don't keep helping her she'll find someone else to. Someone who may be even more dangerous than me."

"I doubt such a person exists." Hitsugaya mumbled under his breath.

"I heard that." Isshin placed a hand on Hitsugaya's shoulder, grinning down at him, "You worry too much. She's a Kurosaki! We don't break easily. Besides, I wouldn't do anything to put her in too much danger."

Hitsugaya was about to ask what constituted "too much" to the man, but he was interrupted by a slamming sound. Yoruichi emerged from the floor just as Urahara had earlier, a small grin on her lips. "Hey boys," She shut the trap door and folded her arms across her chest, "Kurosaki-san, you may want to leave. Karin-san is going to come up soon."

The man sighed, "I just got here, too." He nodded to Yoruichi, "Thanks for the warning. I'll take the hint." He stood and, after giving a brief nod to the others in the room, made his exit.

After he was well out of the shop, Urahara turned back to Hitsugaya. "It's best that you don't mention anything to Karin-chan about her father."

Hitsugaya trained his teal eyes on the shopkeeper, narrowing them in suspicion.

Urahara didn't like that look. "She's under enough pressure already without the knowledge of her lineage. It's best she stay under the impression that she and her brother are isolated incidents." He paused, "For now."

He thought the excuse was flimsy, but didn't question further.

"Anywho...there's some inventory I must tend to! Tessai-san, Yoruichi-san, care to join me?" Urahara stood, a grin on his face. The two nodded, following his lead, "Oh, and Hitsugaya-kun, you can wait here for Karin-chan if you wish to see her~"

"It's Hitsugaya-tai-"

But they were already gone.

He huffed in irritation, crossing his arms over his chest. These people just never learned. Though a part of him suspected that Urahara remembered full well what he liked to be called, and just opted not to for his own amusement. He shook his head to himself, standing and glancing again toward the wooden door in the floor. If she didn't come up soon, he wouldn't stay and wait. He had other things to do…

A strange energy gave him pause. He furrowed his eyebrows, feeling the reiatsu pulsate from below and pool at his feet. He was still adjusting to the recent changes, but he could recognize it as Karin's nonetheless. He looked to where Urahara and company had retreated, waiting for someone to respond.

No one.

He sighed, approaching the doorway. The energy was a tad too strong for his liking. He flipped open the door and lowered himself into the cavernous tunnel, his fingers gripping the ladder tightly. The spiritual energy increased in density as he descended.

Finally, as his feet touched down upon the packed earth, he called out, "Karin-chan?"

No reply.

He easily followed the energy around to a small patch of dirt behind a group of large rocks. Karin sat cross-legged, her eyes closed. She was still meditating…but something was happening this time. It was unusual to see outward manifestations of energy like that while a shinigami meditated, much less a human. He didn't like it. He approached her cautiously, thinking it best to interrupt whatever was happening as the energy levels spiked around her. Her lips were turned down into a small pout, her eyebrows at a slight angle that suggested stress of some sort.

"Karin-chan," He ventured, coming closer. "Hey!" He laid a hand on her shoulder, shaking gently.

Her eyes snapped open immediately, as if an electrical current was running between them. "Ah!"

He knelt by her side, "Are you okay?"

She blinked at him for a moment, gathering her bearings. "I…I don't know. I just saw…never mind." She looked away from him, shaking her head, "It's probably nothing."

He narrowed his eyes, his tone a warning. "Karin-chan…"

She sighed, rolling her eyes. "It's not a big deal!"

"What's going on?"

"Is it…normal to have visions while meditating? Or to hear voices?" She asked, her voice a clear expression of hesitance.

His eyes widened a bit and he had to think before answering her, "Not for humans."

She nodded gravely. "Oh."

"What did you see?"

"I'm not sure yet…" She drew her knees to her chest and hugged them. "It's probably nothing."

She was lying. She hoped beyond hope that he wouldn't catch it.

Of course, people didn't call him a genius for nothing. "It can't be nothing."

She shrugged it off, "Eh, it's not important. None of it makes sense anyways."

He crossed his arms, "You should take this more seriously. You never know what fate could result from-"

"I do take it seriously!" She defended, "I just think there's no use getting all worked up about something I don't understand!"

He cut her a look that was a mixture of irritation and confusion.

She sighed, "The way I see it, one person could have multiple fates. I think it's like a chain. A chain of fate. Each event or person in your life is like a link in that chain. Each progressing link leading toward a certain outcome. But if one link is broken or lost, you go in a new direction. The chain grows back, but without that last link, it leads toward a new destiny. You can't be irreparably broken; you can only move forward in a new direction." She glanced at him as if to make sure he was following her, "So no matter what I do, I shouldn't worry."

He didn't quite know how to respond. The explanation was much more thoughtful than he had expected. She reminded him every day just how much she'd grown in his absence. He unfolded his arms and rested his hands on his knees. "Just don't do anything stupid, okay? Fate chain or not."

"It's 'chain of fate' not 'fate chain.'" She corrected, deadpan.

"Whatever,"

"Oh!" She sprang to her feet without warning. "I'm going to be late to soccer practice! I've had to have been meditation for a while!"

He followed her lead, standing by her side. He realized now that she hadn't been the only one growing; he'd grown taller too. He was still taller than her, but short enough to fail to silence the jokes. It was comforting in a way to see that some things hadn't changed. "Want me to walk you to practice?"

Her features were colored with surprise, "Sure, if you want." She replied, slightly more indifferent than he would've liked. "I'll just go grab my bag."

The two began walking to the ladder to re-enter the shop above. She reached it first, pausing before setting a foot on the lowest wrung. "You go first." She stepped back.

"Why?"

A small hint of pink teased the apples of her cheeks. Was she blushing? "Because…I don't want you to be able to look up my skirt." She mumbled.

"Wh-what? Why would I do that!" He snapped.

She huffed in reply, "I didn't say you would! I said that you could!"

"Baka," He looked away from her, features set in a scowl.

"Just go first, all right?" She snapped.

Nonetheless, he did as she requested.

* * *

It was sort of nice to take a break from his work. Hitsugaya reclined against the metal of the bleachers, watching the members of the Karakura High Girl's Soccer League scurry around the field. Karin was acting as team captain for the day because the regular girl was out. He watched her as she led her teammates, surprised to find a small smile creeping across his lips. She was a good leader. A bit headstrong, like her brother, but she had heart.

He'd met some of her teammates earlier and one of them, whom he now knew was named Momoka, pointedly remarked that as soon as Karin became an upperclassman she was a shoe-in for the position of captain. Watching now, he had to admit Momoka may have been right. Then again, the same girl had accused him of being Karin's boyfriend…

The memory of her mischievous snicker made his face grow hot. His smile melted into a scowl and his posture stiffened in his seat. "We can never go anywhere together without people talking…" He muttered to himself.

And why would people keep assuming that anyways? Sure, they'd both grown a bit so they continued to appear the same age. But the similarities ended there. Right? Humans could be so irritating. It wasn't as if they really acted like a couple. Sometimes she was more trouble than she was worth.

He glanced back down to where Karin was, watching as she helped a teammate up from the ground. He'd missed whatever fumble had caused them to fall, but he'd tuned in just in time to see her face illuminate with a smile. Her lips parted in laughter that he couldn't hear from that distance, black-lashed lids obscuring her grey eyes as she shut them. Her teammate was laughing too, and he couldn't help but feel curious as to what was so funny.

Okay, so _maybe_ she was worth the trouble…

But his train of thought was interrupted by a sharp jingling sound. He froze, his fingers delving into his pants pocket. He dug out his soul pager, flipping it open. "The test results are in?" He questioned. The narrow screen immediately opened the message he'd received, a series of numbers and data scrolling across the screen. He tensed, his grip becoming white knuckle on the device. "It can't be…"

He narrowed his eyes, wishing it had been any other result. He glanced from the news to Karin as Momoka kicked the ball toward her aggressively. Karin sprang forward, barely catching it in time to prevent the other side from gaining possession. The practice exercises didn't feel so amusing anymore.

The residual energy he'd found at the school belonged to one of _them._

* * *

**AN: **Sorry for the update delay! My computer crashed. ;A;

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed it! Please leave me a review! It only takes 30 seconds, and it makes my day! A little constructive criticism is always welcome as well!


	8. Pieces of the Truth

Pieces of the Truth

The day that Karin really began to suspect that something was wrong was the day that she came home to find an unexpected guest in her kitchen. She'd just returned from an early morning soccer meeting. There was no playing, because it was just an emergency team leadership meeting. Their head captain had just announced that she was moving with her family to Kyoto, and finding a replacement for her was turning into a huge mess. So naturally, she wasn't in the best of moods as she stumbled upon the scene in her home. Rangiku Matsumoto sat at the table, chatting amicably with Yuzu as she prepared some tea.

"Ah! Karin-chan! Welcome home! We have a house guest." Yuzu chirped.

Karin's soccer bag slowly slid off her shoulder and landed on the tile with a thump. She stopped dead in her tracks, blinking at the woman out of surprise. She looked terribly familiar, and it took Karin a good moment to realize she'd met the woman briefly in the past.

"It's good to see you again, Karin-chan." She smiled at her, addressing her the way Hitsugaya tended to. Her light eyes looked Karin up and down, her features contorting into an expression of surprise. "My, my. The last time I saw you, you were a little kid! You certainly are growing like a weed."

"Thanks, Matsumoto-san." She could recall her name fairly easily. Back when Hitsugaya had visited her regularly when she was younger, he'd mentioned her more than once. There was always a measure of annoyance in his voice when he did, and it never failed to make her laugh a little.

"Huh? You two know each other?" Yuzu asked curiously.

"Oh, we've met once in passing." The lieutenant waved off her question with a smile.

"So…Matsumoto-san? What do you do for a living?" Yuzu asked, setting a cup of fresh tea in front of their guest. Karin leaned against the counter, watching the surreal scene unfold. Matsumoto looked so out of place in their home even when in a gigai. She looked too glamorous in the mundane beige-walled surroundings.

Karin would learn later that she'd followed Hitsugaya to the Kurosaki residence and somehow talked her way into staying with them as well. She couldn't imagine that it was too difficult for her to finagle, what with her…_assets. _

She thought for a moment, "Well…I'm in…"

"Law enforcement." Karin finished, the lie coming too easily.

Yuzu turned her honey eyes on her sister, "Like a police officer?"

"Yes!" Matsumoto nodded.

"And you're also Hitsugaya-kun's…sister?" Her voice was colored with disbelief.

"Aunt! She's his aunt." Karin explained quickly. "And she hasn't told me yet why she's visiting." Karin stated, cutting her a pointed glance.

She chuckled, "Oh…well, that's not important right now. I'm sure Hitsugaya-kun can explain." She waved it off. It was strange to hear her address him like that. Karin supposed it was to hide their true identities from Yuzu.

Karin huffed, but didn't say anything else as her sister continued her small talk. Hitsugaya had been acting strangely for days. He'd been constantly out of the house working, but would never explain what he was doing. He didn't return until late at night, and then he'd be gone again when she woke up for school. They hadn't really spoken much in that amount of time, despite the fact that they were staying in the same house. It was almost like he was avoiding her or something, but she had no idea what she'd done. And now his lieutenant was there for one purpose, which Karin could only assume was to baby sit her. Being left out of the loop was really getting on her nerves.

"I'll be upstairs," She sighed, excusing herself.

"Oh, Karin-chan! Wait!" Matsumoto exclaimed.

She turned on her heels to look at the woman, "Yeah?"

She smiled brightly, "I was wondering if you wanted to go out to lunch later? I want to get to know the girl Hitsugaya-kun's spent so much time with."

"Uh…" That caught her by surprise, "Toshiro hasn't spent _that _much time with me."

She just chuckled, "If you say so," The smile returned to her lips, "But lunch then? It's my treat."

"Oh, do it Karin! It could be fun." Yuzu prompted.

"If you don't mind…" She made herself smile, "Thanks, Matsumoto-san."

"Oh it's no trouble at all!"

"Well, I'll be upstairs. You know how to find me when you want me." Karin told her. She knew the shinigami woman would be able to track her energy, since Toshiro seemed to be able to do so effortlessly. She nodded in understanding, the small communication going over Yuzu's head with ease.

Sometimes Karin still felt bad about leaving her sister in the dark; like she had a right to know. But after everything they'd gone through, the truth was more of a burden than Yuzu needed. So she just smiled at her sister, protecting her from the knowledge of just what kind of being she was sharing tea with. She needed sheltering more than Karin did.

* * *

The mid-morning air was cold against her skin as she leaned back against the siding of the house. She hadn't meditated in days. Every time she did, she was bombarded with images that made no sense to her. It got more intense every time, and it was starting to make her feel sick to her stomach. Urahara had been the one pushing so much meditation on her, but that wasn't what she wanted. She wanted to fight, which is what he had promised to help her do. She was growing tired of his evasion. She sighed, breathing in the fresh air and trying to clear her head. Between Hitsugaya's weird behavior, the picture show in her head, and all this drama with her soccer team, she'd really needed to retreat. So she found herself sitting on the roof outcropping and staring out across the sky.

"So much bullshit," She grumbled.

"What is?"

Her head whipped around quickly in the direction of the voice. Shocking glacier eyes met hers and all she could do was blink at them in surprise. She hadn't seen those eyes in days, which suddenly felt like a long time to her. What was he doing back at her house in the middle of the day? She stared at him dumbly, her lips partially opened around words that her mind had yet to formulate. Hitsugaya just stared right back, waiting for a response. He was in a gigai, still looking handsome despite the fact that he was dressed in a ridiculously bright green polo shirt with a jarringly red jacket. It had to have been the clothing he'd been provided with from Urahara or something, because she couldn't imagine he'd pick something like that on his own. She briefly realized that he might even fit into some of her brother's old shirts.

"I asked you a question," He stated simply, climbing out to sit next to her.

"I know," She snapped, feeling a bit embarrassed. She'd just been gawking at him like some kind of idiot.

"But you're not answering me." He glanced over at her, his lips set in slight irritation. It seemed to be their default position. Despite the fact that this was his guest room, he wasn't surprised to find that she was still sneaking through and going to her little spot. She looked annoyed, her eyebrows angled above wide grey eyes. But her hair was pulled away from her face in a ponytail, and he couldn't help noticing the small amount of pink that was creeping up the apples of her cheeks. Was she blushing? She wasn't in her soccer uniform as she usually was when she wore a ponytail, but she was still dressed athletically; a red t-shirt paired over dangerously short running shorts. A prickle of irritation ran through him. _How could her father let her leave the house showing that much leg? _

Her answer snapped him out of his thoughts. "It's not important, okay?" She shook her head. "Besides, the more vital question here is what the hell is up with your shirt, Toshiro?"

"What do you mean?" He crossed his arms and looked at her with stoic features.

She raised an eyebrow, a smirk blooming across her lips. "You look like a radioactive Christmas tree."

"That's not my fault," He sighed, scowling. "I had very little choice in what clothes I could get."

She chuckled, shaking her head. "I'd bet you could probably fit into some of Ichi-nii's clothes but-" She stopped mid-sentence as if someone had punched her in the gut. The smirk fell from her lips and for a moment, she looked like she lost herself. She shook her head, "Er…sorry, I-"

"It's fine," From the looks of things, Ichigo's room hadn't been touched in years. His school books were still piled in one corner, one notebook even lying open to a page of science notes on his desk. It was a mausoleum in the middle of their home. Karin seemed to be the only one that would trespass into it to listen to her brother's old music albums. It was like she was still trying to connect with him after all those years, and he could see why she wouldn't be ready to see anyone else in her brother's clothes.

She shifted her body to face him more, but she trained her eyes back onto the horizon. "It's just weird,"

"What is?" He looked back at her, his eyes tracing the curves of her legs as she folded them up to her chest. He noticed small goose bumps along the smooth skin of her thighs. The idiot was freezing, but not doing anything about it.

She turned her gaze on him, "I'm the oldest now. I'm still getting used to it." She tried to speak with a matter of fact voice, not letting her hurt show on her sleeve the way her sister did. It was her turn to protect everyone, and she didn't want to screw it up. What was left of her family deserved the best she could give. And she was willing to give everything if she had to.

"You're doing fine." He thought she was doing more than fine, really. As he recalled the way she'd comforted her sister on the night of his arrival. She had that signature Kurosaki strength; or maybe it was Kurosaki stubbornness?

Her reply sounded as if she'd only half listened to him, "Yeah, yeah." She wrapped her arms around her legs, trying to retain some of her body heat against the chilled air.

He noticed the movement, removing his jacket wordlessly and draping it over her shoulders. How many times would he have to do that for her?

"No, no, Toshiro." She shrugged it off, handing it back.

He sighed in exasperation, "You're practically shivering."

"I'm fine," She insisted.

He closed his eyes in annoyance, "Karin-chan, just take it." He placed the jacket back in her arms. She looked as if she were about to protest again, when he cut her a look that could freeze boiling water. She complied finally, shrugging it on. This one didn't smell as strongly of him as the first one, since he'd just received it. For some reason she found herself a little disappointed about that.

"Thanks," She mumbled, pulling the soft material closer to her torso. It was a little too big for her, the sleeves hanging down to the base of her fingers. But it warmed her almost instantly, she had to acknowledge that.

"Don't thank me, dummy. I just don't want you running around and getting sick." He explained, crossing his arms.

"Someone's grumpy," She teased, reaching up to muss her fingers through his meticulously groomed hair. It was a gesture she made often back when she was younger and he visited more frequently.

"Hey!" He snapped, reaching up to firmly grip her wrist. As soon his fingertips brushed her skin she stopped immediately, as if frozen in place. He didn't move either as she stared at him for a long moment. She felt a small jolt run between them and wondered if he felt it too. She wasn't sure what it meant, so she just blinked at him in confusion. He found it impossible to try and interpret what was going on in that head of hers, not even being able to read her storm cloud eyes. She looked like she was about to say something; his gaze fell on her lips as they parted slightly.

But before she could say anything, a sing-song voice broke the sudden silence. "Karin-chan! Are you ready for—Oh! Am I interrupting something?" Matsumoto's torso poked out the window, her lips parting in an 'o' shape as she looked at them in mock surprise.

Karin instantly snapped out of it, Hitsugaya releasing her wrist quickly and scowling at his lieutenant. "Of course not, Matsumoto-san."

"I'm sorry, I had no idea you were even here, Taicho~"

He knew that was an utter lie but didn't call her out on it, opting instead to just narrow his eyes at her.

"Anyways, are you ready to go, Karin-chan?" She asked, her voice bubbly.

"Sure thing," She nodded, standing, "Here's your-" She began to remove the jacket he'd given her, but he stopped her.

"Keep it," He insisted. A Cheshire grin crept across his lieutenant's lips and he cut off whatever comment she was about to make with a steely glare.

"I'll see you later, Toshiro." She nodded to him, making her way to the window. He grunted a good bye, and she could still feel the skin on the inside of her wrist tingling as she walked back through the house.

* * *

Matsumoto nibbled at her sandwich hungrily, watching as Karin pushed her food around her plate with her fork. Their friendly small talk had fallen away as soon as they'd received their meals. She frowned, swallowing her bite.

"Something on your mind, Karin-chan?"

_Yes. _"Not really,"

She looked unconvinced, "Are you sure?"

"Huh?" Karin looked back at her, as if her mind had gone elsewhere that quickly. "Yeah, yeah. I've just been having weird dreams lately. It's fine."

"Oh?" She blinked at her in surprise, a few stray bread crumbs by the corner of her lips. "What about?"

Karin sighed, "It's not a big deal. It's just a bunch of pictures or something. None of it makes sense anyways."

"What do you see in those pictures?" She asked, her curiosity more than just polite.

"Er…it's all nonsense. Smoldering buildings, empty streets…" _Ichigo. _She couldn't say the last part out loud. "It's nothing."

A spark of concern played across her eyes for a moment but it was quickly replaced by a breezy smile. "You're probably right," She nodded, taking another bite of food.

Karin followed her lead, cutting off a piece of the grilled chicken she'd ordered and chewing. She didn't want to raise the woman's suspicions anymore.

"So…how're things with you and Hitsugaya-taicho?"

Karin choked, wishing she hadn't taken that bite so soon. She grabbed her water, taking a few healthy gulps before recovering. "Wh-what?"

"I told you I wanted to get to know the girl that my taicho has spent so much time with." She grinned.

She rolled her eyes, "He hasn't even spent that much time with me. Before this morning, I hadn't seen him in days. And before that I hadn't seen him since…" Ichigo died.

Matsumoto seemed to infer what she'd left unsaid. "But before, he visited you semi-regularly, Karin-chan."

"Oh, he made it pretty clear he wasn't here just to see _me_. He was always working." She took a bite of food, chewing while Matsumoto replied and trusting her to not make her choke again.

"If that's what he said…"

She swallowed, "What're you implying, Matsumoto-san?"

"Nothing, nothing." She waved it off, smiling deviously.

She shook her head, "I didn't see him again for three _years," _She noted, "So he obviously didn't need to come here for work anymore. Which just proves what he'd told me." She rolled up the sleeves of her borrowed jacket a bit, pulling it closer to herself with a sigh.

Matsumoto watched the action, analyzing every move she made. "How has he been acting since he's been here _on business?" _

Karin took a sip of water, "Like his old bossy cranky self. He hasn't changed at all." Well, he hadn't changed as far as personality went. _Physically…_he had only seemed to grow more handsome. Not that she would say that out loud for a million bucks.

"What?" She blinked at her, "I suppose you're right. He's like his old self _now._"

"Huh?"

"He's been kind of…distant. For the past few years." She explained, taking a break from devouring her food. "He's been through a lot." She tip-toed around the topic, not wanting to say too much to the young Kurosaki. "But being here seems to have revitalized him. I think you're helping much more than you know."

Karin furrowed her eyebrows, a slight blush creeping up her cheeks. "I don't know what you're talking about, Matsumoto-san."

"After seeing you in the past, he'd always return to the Seireitei in better spirits. Well, better for him." She chuckled, "Hitsugaya-taicho would never say it had anything to do with you, but I've always had my suspicions…"

Karin narrowed her eyes, "If he liked seeing me so much, why'd he stop then?" She couldn't help but feel as if she'd been abandoned by everyone after her brother's death. Rukia vanished without warning and she'd stopped hearing from Hitsugaya altogether. In fact she'd hardly seen any shinigami besides Zennosuke, and even he refused to speak to her. She couldn't admit how much that hurt her. "Why did _everyone _disappear?"

The playful smile fell from her lips, and she glanced around for a moment as if making sure no one was listening to them. "Karin-chan, has it ever occurred to you that maybe no one was _allowed_ to see you until recently?"

* * *

Hitsugaya swept the area, patrolling the empty streets. The cold air felt fresh and inviting against his skin. He much preferred the lull of night to the rushed pace of the day. He could see his own breath, but it didn't bother him at all. It was about the fourth time he'd made this loop around the neighborhood, and he decided that it was okay for the night. He couldn't sense any suspicious energy and knew he needed to get some sleep. It was nearly three in the morning, but he would send Matsumoto out for the next rotation, just for extra caution.

Things were much easier to manage with his lieutenant there. He didn't have to be preoccupied with Karin's safety as long as she was under Matsumoto's watch. He'd received official orders from the soutaicho recently; she was his problem now. He sighed, knowing that it would be no easy task. But at least he had backup. He turned back in the direction of the Kurosaki home, ready for some much-needed rest.

As soon as he stepped foot inside their home, something didn't sit right with him. Yuzu lay curled up on the couch, asleep. The television was off already, telling him that Karin had been there earlier to tuck a blanket over her sister and shut off the device. He ventured up the stairs, hearing Matsumoto's familiar snores echoing down the hall from the second guest room. His eyebrow twitched in irritation; the woman slept like the dead. The master bedroom's door was cracked, and he could see Isshin sprawled across his bed, drooling face-first into the pillow. The only room left to check was Karin's.

"Karin-chan?" He called softly, pushing the door open. It hadn't been shut fully, and the small lamp on her desk was still on. She sat slumped over her desk, her folded arms acting as a pillow. She hadn't even changed into her pajamas, and he could see why. She'd been in the middle of scribbling some math homework. With a quick glance, he could already tell she had no idea what she was doing. He shook his head slightly, before he realized the fact that she was still wearing his jacket as well. He stared at her for a second, watching as her chest rose and fell along with the rhythm of her soft breathing.

"Karin-chan," He repeated, reaching forward to wake her. "Ouch!" As soon as his fingertips touched her shoulder, a small jolt of energy hit him like a buzzer. He withdrew his hand, his eyebrows knitting in confusion. _That was her reiatsu… _"Karin-chan!" He repeated, abandoning his soft voice from earlier. He reached forward again, cautiously placing a hand on her shoulder. There was that shock again, but he'd been expecting it. He shook her shoulder, the force slowly growing.

She wasn't waking up.

"Karin-chan!" He repeated, his voice growing louder. He could feel reiatsu being released from her now, hitting him in waves that grew increasingly heavier. He couldn't help but feel a sense of déjà vu. He pulled her into his arms, shaking her again. She was completely limp, her head coming to rest in the crook of his neck. _Why won't she wake up? _

"Karin-chan!" He shouted this time, unsure of what to do. Her energy kept growing stronger, leaking from her body recklessly. Under the circumstances, that was unacceptably unsafe. If he couldn't feel her chest moving as she breathed, he would've thought she was dead.

* * *

Karin had no idea where she was. She stood in the middle of an empty void of darkness. A black pit. She could hear someone calling her name. It echoed to her vaguely, like the whisper of a faraway ocean tide. She recognized the voice, but couldn't quite place it. "Who's there?"

The voice called out to her again, sounding increasingly desperate.

"Don't listen to them,"

She turned around, peering through the darkness. This second voice was new. It had a feminine lilt, almost teasing her. "Where are you?"

"I could be anywhere," It answered, laughing. "Like…here!"

She could feel fingertips wrap around her shoulder and she turned to face whoever was screwing with her, a scowl on her lips. But no one was there. "H-hey!"

A tendril of smoke rose from the darkness, and the voice spoke again. "I've finally found you, Kurosaki Karin. Now _hold still._"

The smoke moved like the tail of a cat, brushing along her jawline. She tried to swat it away, but her arms were immediately restrained behind her back. She gasped in surprise, feeling those solid fingers wrap around her arms menacingly. The voice was right behind her now, "I told you to hold still."

She struggled against the mystery woman's grip, "What do you want from me?"

The teasing voice became suddenly serious, "To show you the whole truth."

The smoke wound around her body until it engulfed her completely.

"Now pay attention, Kurosaki Karin."

* * *

**AN: **Sorry it took so long for me to update again! I'd like to thank all of you guys for reading/reviewing/favorite-ing. It makes me so happy to see that you guys like my work. So, since you had to wait extra long, I gave you an extra long chapter! I hope you liked it!

Please leave a review for me with your thoughts! It only takes 30 seconds, and it makes my day~!


	9. Before

Before

"Taicho?" Matsumoto had finally been awoken by Hitsugaya's yelling. She appeared in Karin's doorway, still in her gigai. Her eyes were heavy with sleep, but they widened as soon as she took in the unfolding scene. "T-taicho! What's going on?" She could feel Karin's reiatsu lapping at her ankles, stinging like small tongues of flame. The ebony haired Kurosaki lay motionless in his arms, and he continued to try to rouse her from whatever state she had slipped into.

"Matsumoto-san," He looked up at her from where he sat on the floor, "Her reiatsu-"

She knew what he was going to ask before he even finished, "I'll secure the perimeter," She nodded and ran back down the hall, presumably to ditch her gigai in the second guest room.

Hitsugaya lay Karin across the floor, blinking down at her. The room felt almost electrified by the energy radiating off her body. All they could do was sit and hope she'd snap out of this soon. "Karin-chan," He whispered, exasperated. "Wake up already."

* * *

The smoke that had engulfed Karin quickly scattered in a blast of wind. She put her palms up, shielding her eyes. Whoever had been restraining her had vanished. She coughed into her elbow, smoke filling her lungs and making her eyes water. When she was finally able to see, she almost wished that she couldn't. She had been transported to her neighborhood, but it was scarcely recognizable. The buildings were sliced down their middles, debris and flames spilling out of them from all sides. A large gash ran up the center of the blacktop street, so long that she couldn't see where it even ended.

The earth shook beneath her feet, blasts reverberating through the sky and into her ribcage. It was an image she'd seen so many times during her meditations; explosions in the sky like a lethal fireworks display. All of this had been experienced by her before in bits and pieces. But now everything had come together into one smooth reality. The fully-encompassing world she'd been pulled into felt so genuine that it made her head spin. There was a loud crash in the sky, and something fell on the top of her head. Her fingertips found their way to her part, and returned bloody. She looked up just in time to see a black-clad body fall from the smoky air above and crash land on the pavement.

She ran over to them, her heart racing. The smoke cleared, revealing a delicate-looking form curled in the center. "R-rukia-nee?!" She exclaimed, as waves of sickening horror washed over her. Rukia struggled to turn over, her dark eyes impossibly wide. Her lips parted around words that she just couldn't get out. Karin dropped to her knees, trying to find a way to help or comfort her. But Rukia's gaze cut right through her body and focused on the sky above. Karin feared that she would throw up.

She'd never seen so much blood spill from a person in her life.

_No, not her._

Karin could've easily mistaken it as her own thought. The statement originated in her mind, but it wasn't her. Something urged her to stand up, and she listened. She looked around the ruins of her neighborhood, unsure of what she was really hoping to find. That is, until a scream pierced the air. It carried astoundingly well over the sounds of the explosions. She turned on her heels toward the direction the noise came from. Heavy footsteps pounded rhythmically against the pavement. She couldn't believe what she was seeing.

She was watching herself run down the street.

Karin stumbled back, watching as her strange experience became even more surreal. Her other self was wearing her old middle school uniform, her thirteen year old face twisted into an expression of pain. She was obviously injured, or maybe she'd been helping an injured person and her clothes were merely stained red. She had a difficult time breathing as she watched her other self run right past her without so much as glancing in her direction. She rounded a corner, her petite form vanishing behind a building.

_Follow._

She obeyed, running after herself. As she turned the corner, she could finally identify what the explosions were coming from. She stopped dead in her tracks, watching as her younger duplicate did the same a couple of yards ahead of her. They both surveyed the scene before them, the terror in their hearts mirroring each other. Overhead, Ichigo was being attacked by three individuals. Sometimes the view of the fight was blocked by smoke, but it didn't matter. Both Karins could still tell that he was losing.

"Ichi-nii!" Her thirteen year old self shouted, worry seeping into her tone. Her grey eyes flashed with fear. "Don't die!"

There was a particularly loud explosion and yet more smoke filled the air. She could hear her double coughing and straining for breath against the onslaught of debris. There was movement in the smoke that Karin noticed before her second self. "Hey! Look out!" She shouted, racing forward through the smoke.

_She cannot hear you and she cannot see you. _The voice was back, as bossy as ever.

"'She' _is _me!" She shouted, continuing through the smoke. Before she could find herself, a scream cut through the air. It was…her own voice. A blast of air ruffled her hair and the smoke cleared away as if cleaved by a blade. She turned on her heels to see her younger self laying face-down on the pavement, a trail of blood leading to her assailant. "A-am I okay…?" She stammered in shock, taking a step closer.

It was a man that had attacked her other self. A hooded black cloak shadowed his face, and he loomed over her petite form. A machete's red blade was held firmly in his fist, dripping slowly on the pavement.

He removed his hood, laughter flowing from his lips. His hair was buzzed short in an almost military manner. A large scar gnarled the skin across his otherwise youthful and handsome face. Something in his eyes glinted with a disturbing ferocity that made even Karin uneasy. His two comrades had fallen in the fray, but he didn't as much as glance at them as they lay bleeding on the street. He glared up at the sky instead, and she followed his gaze to her brother. He stood in shock, his sword poised as if he were trying to strike the man before he'd targeted his sister. His robes were torn, revealing deep gashes down his torso.

The air was charged with an electric sort of silence. That is, until the younger Karin stirred at the man's feet. She could barely raise herself up to her elbows, struggling to look up at her brother. "I-ichi-nii…" She collapsed again, having just received a considerable gash across her midsection. The man's lips twitched into a small smile.

Karin felt sick watching herself like that. She wrapped an arm around her own torso, feeling security in its wholeness and warmth. Apparently, she wasn't the only one disturbed by the sight.

"_KARIN!" _Her brother's voice rang out through the air, sounding more like a mournful howl than a battle cry. She watched as energy began to crackle around him like tongues of black flame. The heaviness of the reiatsu barreled down on her and she felt momentarily paralyzed by the shock of it. The energy seemed to be coming from a single source on his body. He was about forty feet above the ground now, and Karin had to strain to see what it was.

"A…a ring!" She whispered to herself, a queasiness rising in the pit of her gut.

_Finally catching on._

She ignored the voice, focusing on the small silver band where it glinted on her brother's finger. When Urahara said that it had gone through vigorous testing…he'd meant that he'd used her brother! She let out a small growl, watching as his energy twisted up around him like a cocoon. The man on the ground just watched intently. Karin's double struggled soundlessly at his feet, and he ignored her completely.

With an inhuman wailing, the energy around Ichigo dissipated and revealed something Karin couldn't even make sense of. A mask covered his features, two giant horns protruding from the top of his head. She took a step back unconsciously. This couldn't be her brother…

The man's smile grew a bit, and he nodded. "Good,"

Suddenly the two were flying at each other, a quick dance of malice and murderous intent. Her eyes couldn't keep up. She turned to her other self, watching as she struggled to sit up. Fine trails of crimson streaked her cheeks and she held a hand up to where blood escaped from her torso. She coughed in a way that sounded too frail for her, and Karin's heart jumped.

"Am I dying?" She asked no one in particular.

The strange voice remained silent this time.

She struggled to her feet, her arm still wrapped around herself. Despite the effort, her knees buckled and she began to fall once more. Out of nowhere, a hand reached out and steadied her. She fell backwards into a pair of familiar arms.

"Karin-chan!" Hitsugaya had arrived in a flash of shunpo, his face contorted into an expression of concern she had never seen before. His haori hung in tatters, his handsome face bruised and bloodied.

Her younger self caught her breath, croaking out a greeting. "I'll be fine," Her stormy eyes were still fixed on her brother. She didn't recognize this thing he'd become, and it filled her with a sense of dread. Was this her fault?

He seemed to have sensed what she was thinking about. "I need to get you a safe distance away. I told you not to get yourself hurt, dummy." His tone was firm, but it had an edge of worry to it.

She tried to stand on her own, climbing out of his reach. "If I have to go, I'm walking."

"Not with that injury. You've lost too much blood."

"Toshiro." She turned to look at him, and the sorrow in the double's eyes surprised Karin herself. He froze at the sight of the emotion she'd unleashed in her gaze. She'd never shown that much feeling to him before.

The earth shook, and a choked out scream split the air. All three of the young people on the ground turned up to stare into the sky above. The man held his machete, poised as if to take a bite out of Ichigo. But Ichigo, or the beast he'd become, was frozen in place. The stone embedded into the ring shattered, glinting shards of sapphire showering into the street below. His mask cracked, the horns chipping away. The look in her brother's eyes…it was an indescribable mix that could only result from one too many horrors. The black blade slipped from his fingertips, clattering to the earth below.

"I see," His opponent spoke calmly, sheathing his crude weapon at his hip. "Your power is great enough, but it is far too volatile. Yours is the kind to turn even on its own master."

Ichigo's lips moved around words he couldn't quite choke out and he curled in on himself, wincing in agony. Karin could feel her heart breaking in her chest, and she knew her younger self must have felt it too. His form tumbled from the sky, making a straight path to collide with the unforgiving cement. The force of his landing produced a crater in the center of the road, dust springing up around it.

"Ichi-nii!" The younger Karin's scream echoed, reverberating off of what was left of the gnarled structures. Tears gathered in her eyes, but she pushed them back. No. That couldn't be it. She broke out of Toshiro's reach and made a run for it. The exertion on her body in its weakened state was plain on her face, but she raced forward just the same. She stumbled once or twice, but refused to stop even after Toshiro shouted after her. She had to see her brother. She had to make sure everything would be okay.

"Ichi-nii!" She repeated, "Get up!" Her voice cracked, an emotion threatening to break the surface. He couldn't die. This wasn't happening.

The man looked down at her, a curiously amused grin on his lips. He held up one arm toward her, "Hado number thirty-three, Sokatsui."

Karin watched as Toshiro flash stepped after her. He threw himself over top of her, sending her sprawling to the ground and out of harm's way as the kido blasted over their heads. The man seemed to make a decision, glaring down at them once more before turning to walk away. A small gateway appeared in the sky next to him, but unlike a senkaimon the paper gates were red in color. He vanished through them without a single glance back.

Toshiro growled before turning his attention back to the slender form of the girl he'd saved. "You could have gotten yourself killed," He hissed.

She lay across the pavement in front of where he knelt, her right arm returned to cradling her wound. "I don't care," She spoke plainly, her voice cracking in pain. "Is Ichi-nii…"

His eyes seemed to harden at the question and he glanced toward the smoldering cradle.

Ichigo's reiatsu was gone.

A sense of dread filled him to his core. He looked back down at the girl, "Karin-chan…"

But she'd already slipped into unconsciousness.

After watching her younger self pass out, Karin hesitantly began to step forward toward the two of them. Her vision began blurring at the edges, but she fought it. Whatever all of this was…it was coming back to her.

Toshiro looked down at her unconscious figure for a moment before taking her up into his arms. She needed medical help immediately. Despite her spitfire attitude, he knew her human body was far more frail than his. "Why do you put yourself in danger like this?"

The grey blur began to make its way further into her sight until she realized that it wasn't her sight at all. The smoke was returning, wrapping itself around her body. She wanted to yell; to command whoever this was showing her these things to wait. But there was no stopping it. Wisps of the smoke floated in front of her, forming the vague outline of a female form. Two black eyes blinked, boring right into hers.

"Who are you?" She asked. It ignored her.

_Remember. _Smoke fingertips trailed up to reach her forehead and as soon as the vapor-like hand made contact, she felt a jolt run through her entire body. The sensation of being electrified ran through her to her very core for a strong moment before it was abruptly snuffed out.

With a gasp, Karin's eyes flew open. She desperately drew in breath as if she'd just been submerged in water. The flood of reiatsu immediately shut off. Toshiro looked at her with a mix of concern and curiosity, his stern gaze directed at her face.

"Karin-chan," He laid a cautious hand on her shoulder.

It was odd. Her thirteen year old self had just passed out in his arms, and now she found herself, three years older, waking up in them. "Toshiro…" At first her eyes widened in surprise, but they immediately narrowed.

"What happened?"

The town hadn't been hit by a devastating fire three years ago, as everyone had always said.

The scar just to the side of her belly button wasn't from falling out of a tree, as she'd been told.

_Ichigo hadn't died in a car crash, like she'd always believed. _

She'd been lied to. Just like he'd screwed with Yuzu's head before.

She climbed out of his reach, glaring at him with eyes of molten steel. "I remember everything."

* * *

**AN: **I got this up in time for a certain reviewer's birthday! ^^

I hope you liked it. Please tell me what you thought! There are some loose ends, but those will be tied up.


	10. Memories in the Rain Revisited

Memories in the Rain Revisited

Something shattered between them that night, along with the kido barrier in her mind that held the nightmarish truth at bay. Her eyes no longer shone at him at if forged from molten steel, instead they glinted like two dead pools. Her lips pressed together into a thin line and she rose to her feet. The way she looked at him…no, she wasn't looking _at _him. She was looking through him. The foreign feeling of distance in her expression left him with a hollow pang in his chest.

She knew she just had to get away from him. He'd tried to say something to her; an explanation attempting desperately to tumble from his lips. But she wouldn't allow him to even begin. She threw his jacket back in his lap, turning on her heels to face her bedroom door.

"Stop right there." She could sense another of his attempts to explain himself coming, and she just couldn't take that right then. "I can't even look at you right now." Whether or not he was able to visit her before was one thing, but _this? _This was a crime of a personal nature. She'd put her trust in him. That trust was increasingly fleeting and cynical, but she'd handed it over to him because they were friends.

_And now this._

She could feel herself teetering on the precipice. After years of holding it together, just one simple nudge and she could break apart like a porcelain doll. It was like losing her brother all over again. She couldn't let that happen. Karin Kurosaki was not a china doll. She didn't let things shatter her. She left him sitting there on her bedroom floor, her feet carrying her to the front door before she even knew where she was going. She grabbed her shoes, not stopping to slip them on until she was safely a few blocks away. Not that that small distance mattered much when she knew he could easily shunpo after her.

She found herself escaping to the only place she could think of. It didn't matter that the misty rain made her clothes cling uncomfortably as she ran, or that it was well past her curfew. If she could just find herself in this one place maybe she could clear her mind. Maybe –and this was a huge maybe—things would start to make a little more sense.

Finding her was comically easy. She had the same overflowing faucet of energy as her brother, and tonight she wasn't bothering to shut it off. The reasons why were understandable to Hitsugaya, but that didn't make the action any less reckless. His fukutaicho followed his lead, his glowering expression deterring even her from asking about what had happened in her absence.

All she could tell was that something had veered drastically from their plans.

To say the two shinigami were surprised at their destination would be an understatement. They wove wearily through the grave monuments, gleaming alabaster under the sheen of rain. Hitsugaya could sense her, like a familiar humming in the back of his mind. She was three rows over, probably sitting since they couldn't see her over the headstones. Her energy flickered around him, enveloping him in something akin to warmth.

He held his arm out, effectively stopping Matsumoto in her tracks. "Go watch the perimeter," He kept his voice low, the constant patter of rain helping to mask it.

She nodded quietly, "And you, Taicho?"

His lips pressed together into a hard line and he looked away from her, his eyes trailing in the direction of the middle Kurosaki. He didn't need to answer her. She understood. In a flash, she was gone. He lowered his arm, his sleeve heavy from the misty rain. He'd never seen Karin so upset before. What exactly had she flashed back on? There was no possible way that she broke the kido on her own. At least not to his knowledge. He knew how strong it was because the task of putting it there had fallen into his duties.

The memories of it were still fresh in his mind, though it had been years. She was still unconscious when he'd done it, her body looking too small under the thin blanket of the futon. Her shoulders were bare, bandages encompassing her torso. She never should've gotten hurt like that. What had happened…that was her brother's fight, the shinigamis' cross to bear. It was never supposed to be hers. The purpose of being a shinigami was to protect humans. In this case, he felt that he'd failed in his duties as both a taicho…and a friend.

As he knelt by her side, he knew that he didn't want to do it. But orders were orders. The Gotei Thirteen had successfully fractured the Kurosaki family. They'd done enough to her life; if forgetting was best for her then he'd have to be okay with that.

The damage had already been done anyway.

She almost blended into her stone surroundings when he spotted her amongst the graves. She knelt in front of one, looking very small. The name "Kurosaki Ichigo" was etched into the stone, water shimmering in the divots. Her fists pressed against the pavement as she hunched over, dark hair spilling over her face and blocking it from his view. She was sopping wet, her shirt sticking to her back and waist. He noticed she was shivering and almost regretted not bringing his jacket. The idiot was going to give herself pneumonia on top of everything else.

Not too long ago, he'd watched her soothe her sister to sleep. How many of Yuzu's tears had she wiped away? How many gentle smiles had she faked? How many times had she wished someone had been there to do that for her in return? Even now, she fought the tears. She wasn't going to let this break her. Even when she felt like porcelain she steeled herself. Though she felt otherwise, this really changed nothing.

Just because her memories were back didn't mean her brother was.

She sensed he was there, but didn't turn to look at him. She wasn't even allowed a few moments of peace, was she? Could she really say that surprised her though? Her life was no longer cleaved into two pieces. The before had collided with the after, fracturing everything she thought she knew. She sat there, trying to make sense of the memories that were overloading her brain. Things were still falling into place, some memories more jumbled than others. It was as if she'd lived a whole separate life that she was only just becoming conscious of. A two week time span was coming back to her all at once.

He knew she was avoiding talking to him. He crouched by her side, not about to drag his shihakusho across the wet pavement. "Karin-chan, I-"

"Didn't I tell you to stop?" She asked, her voice more plain than irritated. She lifted her head, shifting on her haunches to look him in the eyes. There was pain easily written in her storm cloud irises, but she was still trying to stifle its appearance on her face. Something was missing from her, he could feel it. It seemed that whatever hidden fire usually resided in her heart had been snuffed out by the steady rainfall.

"What do you mean?"

"All these years and all thought-" She stopped, as if she'd run out of breath in the middle. She cast her eyes downward toward his straw sandals for a moment, steeling herself to gaze back at his face. She was so stupid. "I can't believe you kept this hidden from me."

"Karin-"

She shook her head slowly. She didn't have to say a word to cut him off. A well-timed glare was all it took from her. A churning sensation washed over her, like she was going to cry and throw up at the same time. His presence only made it harder to hold it together.

But he had something he needed to tell her.

"This is important. It's about your-"

"God, just leave me the hell alone Hitsugaya."

There it was. Like a slap to the face.

Hitsugaya. Not Toshiro.

He blinked at her, feeling astonished but managing to hide the emotion behind a straight-faced wall. She hadn't called him by his surname in years. Even when she was an elementary schooler, she rebelled against his wishes by calling him "Toshiro". He'd stopped correcting her over the years, the title beginning to just sound…_right _from her. But this…there was a venom in her voice that had never been directed at him before. She was like a lioness, injured and cornered but still fighting.

Did that make him prey?

She turned away from him, refusing to look him in the eye anymore. He stood and backed away slowly, as if in shock. She didn't say another word to him as he retreated. He could tell she needed a little space. Her emotions were running cold; volatile. She wouldn't be able to hold a solid discussion when she was in that state. Normally he'd fight her on it, insist on at least moving out of the rain. But something unidentifiable in her eyes shut him down completely. He couldn't explain the phenomenon even to himself.

He shook his head, grumbling as he returned to his fukutaicho's side. "Why isn't she mad at you?" Matsumoto was every bit as guilty as him. Though, he wasn't exactly the bad guy. If only Karin would let him speak long enough to say so.

She looked at him like it was the most obvious thing in the world, "She expects more from you, Taicho. She wouldn't count on a virtual stranger like me to fight for her, but you…" She let the sentence hang. Their relationship always seemed to have so many blurred lines to her. Whenever he traveled to the world of the living in the past, he'd always sneak in a visit to the ebony-haired Kurosaki. Though if his fukutaicho confronted him about it, he'd either play it down or refuse to answer. It seemed to her that they maintained a remarkably good relationship despite the gaps in time between visits. He must have seen something important in her to make an effort to see her. But things were different now.

Everyone knew that from Karin's perspective he'd abandoned her without so much as a good bye.

But no one was saying anything about that.

Matsumoto watched as he turned his head in the direction he'd come from, toward the place where they both knew the girl was still sitting. His face remained set in an unreadable mask, but she'd become rather good at speculating about what he was feeling.

"Why don't you leave me here with her?" She suggested, her tone lighter than before. "I can take care of her. Besides, she needs some time to think. I'm sure you both do."

* * *

The next day, Karin managed to drag herself through her classes –but only just. Sleep had been hard to find. Even after she changed into dry clothes and curled up in her bed, something in her heartbeat felt hollow. She'd settled for staring at the ceiling until the sun rose, listening to the rhythmic swelling of her sister's breaths.

Matsumoto had taken to watching her closely. She stayed far enough away during the school day, but Karin could always sense that she was nearby. The constant hovering was nothing short of a nuisance, though it was something she didn't care about enough to really confront. At least not for the time being. As for Hitsugaya, she hadn't even caught a glimpse of him since she yelled at him in the cemetery. He hadn't returned to her house.

A sardonic smile twisted one side of her lips as she made her way down the street after school. The same shinigami who had fought alongside her brother and shed blood countless times ran away with his tail between his legs when a little girl snapped at him. It was just as well, since she didn't much feel like talking to him. He'd looked her in the eyes and pretended that everything was just fine. He never even apologized once he had been found out. Had she been a fool for expecting anything more? No, she'd thought they were friends.

How funny that sounded to her now.

"Hey! Karin-san!"

The voice pulled her from her thoughts, the smirk wiping clean from her face. Momoka was waving her hands above her head, a wide grin on her face. She ran to catch up, her school bag flapping comically against her hip. She wasn't even out of breath once she came to a stop by Karin's side; a sign that the conditioning they'd done for soccer was working.

"Eh? Hi, Momoka-san. What's up?" They'd always been acquaintances, but they'd never been very chummy. It was unusual for them to approach each other about things that weren't soccer-related.

"You looked like you were in a bad mood today," She pouted girlishly, winding one of her dark pigtails around her finger, "So I was wondering if you wanted to hang out? I don't like it when our future team captain is upset."

"You really do think I stand a chance, huh?" She raised an eyebrow, "Well, I have some homework I have to do and…"

Matsumoto's reiatsu flickered, a reminder that she was being watched. She didn't want to go home right then. Who knew if she had the patience to deal with her father's antics? And God forbid she run into Hitsugaya. Yeah she was under constant surveillance, but that didn't mean she wouldn't try to find herself a worthy distraction.

The blonde fukutaicho watched the girls talk from atop the roof of a building. From the outside, Karin seemed to be doing much better, if not a bit irritable. Anything was an improvement next to the state she had been in the previous night. The kid was holding up well. A small smile crossed her lips as she watched the schoolgirls chat. Not long ago, it had been Ichigo wearing that uniform. She'd blinked and suddenly the younger Kurosakis had taken the previous generation's place.

Was that as jarring for her taicho as it was for her? So much had changed since they'd last seen her. Her ebony hair had grown out from the boyish bob, framing a face that had softened with age. Her baby fat was gone, long and lean lines in its place. She and her sister both were shaping up to be quite attractive young women, though Karin's snarky attitude probably kept the boys at bay. She couldn't help but chuckle to herself. She was just like her big brother, in certain aspects.

But did that end up bothering her, if looking at herself revealed a distorted reflection of the sibling she missed so dearly?

Well that was a buzz kill.

"…you know what? I think I could go for some ice cream. You could tag along if you want." Karin offered, "I have some extra cash so I could buy if you want."

She smiled brightly, "Ah! That would be wonderful! Thank you, Karin-san!"

"No need to get all excited, it's no problem."

The two began making their way down the empty sidewalk together, Momoka slightly in the lead. Her excited footsteps made her almost appear deer-like. If she had been in a better mood, Karin would've laughed.

"Time to get a move on," Matsumoto murmured to herself, jumping to the next adjacent rooftop to follow their progress down the street.

A gruff voice rang out across the rooftop, "Where're you runnin' off to, Blondie?"

Her progress screeched to a halt. The reiatsu that washed over her was vaguely familiar. A shadow fell over her shoulder, prompting her to turn swiftly on her heels as she drew her zanpakuto.

"You!"

Momoka froze, as if paralyzed by some unseen force. Her school bag slipped from her fingertips and landed with a dull thud against the pavement. She had her back to Karin, her shoulders stiff.

"Hey…are you okay?" Karin asked, reaching out toward the girl. A curtain of energy descended upon them, making the air feel impossibly heavy. What the hell was going on here? "Momoka-san, I think we should get going." She prompted, placing a hand on her shoulder. As soon as she touched her, her body fell limply to the concrete. She took a step back, in shock. Suddenly she was face to face with someone different. It was as if her teammate had been ejected from her body. Now she looked like a stranger in her red cloak, a malevolent smirk across her face.

"The only one who should've gotten going was you, Kurosaki."

* * *

Hitsugaya had barely had the patience to wait for Urahra's guests to filter out of the room. It was two of Ichigo's old friends, their faces only mildly different with age. Orihime Inoue and Uryu Ishida. He had been slightly surprised to find them being briefed on the Karin Situation, though maybe the surprise had been misplaced. They were a loyal bunch, after all. They wanted to help protect what was important to Ichigo because he was their friend and they owed him a debt. Urahara probably called them there himself.

When the two of them were finally alone, Inoue and Ishida securely enjoying a cup of tea with Yoruichi in the back room, Hitsugaya was in no mood for pleasantries. "You know what's happened already, don't you?"

"Whatever are you talking about, Hitsugaya-kun?" He asked, hiding a large part of his face behind his fan.

"It's Hitsugaya-taicho!" He scolded, folding his arms over his chest stubbornly. "And you know perfectly well what I'm talking about."

He closed the fan, tucking it away in his jacket. "So Karin-chan hasn't been very stable, I take it."

"You knew this was going to happen. You knew the risks when you gave her that device."

"You seem pretty upset about a small reiatsu disturbance," He noted, pushing his hat back to take a good look at his face, "Unless this is about something else."

"She's broken the kido barrier."

There was a long beat of silence as Urahara processed the information. He didn't appear as surprised as he ought to have been. The kind of barrier Hitsugaya had put in place in the girl's mind was too strong for her to break of her own accord, especially when she was oblivious to its existence. The two watched each other, a silent standoff.

"You knew this would happen." Hitsugaya concluded.

"I had thoughts about the possibility," He allowed.

"No," He shook his head, teal eyes trained intently on the shopkeeper. "You wanted this to happen, didn't you? You wanted to weaken the kido barrier."

He looked caught for a moment, his expression innocent like a lamb, "Oh how accusatory, Hitsugaya-taicho~!"

"Dancing around this won't make it go away," His icy tone showed no signs of giving up the argument. He'd always known that he would have ulterior motives. Now he needed to understand them before someone got hurt.

Urahara's lips parted, his expression growing serious. But before he could eke out a single word, a pulsing reiatsu struck them both. They froze, feeling out the direction of the energy. This was an unexpected turn of events, to be sure.

Hitsugaya's eyes widened as he realized whose spiritual pressures were mixed in with it. "Karin-chan! Matsumoto!"

* * *

**AN: **Sorry I haven't updated! Things got crazy with school. But midterms and stuff are over so I should be able to update more consistently now! This story is not dead or hiatus-ed! I promise! I have the next few chapters outlined already. c:

I hope you liked it! Please let me know what you thought by leaving a review! It makes me day~


	11. When it Begins

When it Begins

"You're hurt."

"Huh?" Karin looked to where he pointed, noticing for the first time just how badly bruised she'd become. Dark purple splotches adorned the otherwise pale skin of her knees and shins, still tender to the touch. "Oh yeah, that."

He frowned, "What happened to you?"

"It's not a big deal, Toshiro. It's just from soccer. The guys get a little rough sometimes, but I can get rougher." She smirked, taking a long sip from her mug. It was a chilly evening, and though they'd first run into each other in the park they'd had to move into her house when it began to rain. She'd made them both hot cocoa, but he'd seemed skeptical when she first handed it to him.

"But they're injuring you, dummy." He replied coolly.

"Uh, it's just a bruise." She shrugged it off, shooting him a wry smile. "Besides, we both know I'm not the damsel in distress type. It's not like I'm made of porcelain or something."

The comment satisfied him for the time being, and a silence passed over them as she pulled her hair from its usual ponytail and shook it out. It was the first time he'd seen her in her new school uniform. Five months had passed since their last visit, and in that small window of time she'd seemed to grow so much. She was no longer the elementary school tomboy she was when they first met, though she certainly had no less chutzpah. He wondered briefly if she noticed any changes in him as well. Their time together was so staggered that they spent much of it just catching up.

But simple conversation about nothing in particular was always enough for them.

"What're you looking at?" She cocked her head to the side, lips pursed curiously.

He replied simply, "Your hair's grown."

"Hence why it's tied up all the time; it gets in my way a lot."She ran her hand through it, fingers slipping smoothly through the ebony curtain. It was just past her collar bones, a far cry from the bob she cherished in her childhood. "Why, was that a complement or something?"

Something about the way her lips quirked into a small half-smile embarrassed him. He cleared his throat, "It was just an observation."

"Yeah, yeah." She waved him off, "Drink your hot chocolate already before it gets cold. This stuff is nasty at room temperature."

He looked down at the mug in his hands for a moment, "This really doesn't sound appealing."

She took a long slow sip as if to wordlessly argue against what he was suggesting. He sighed, holding the drink to his lips before taking a tentative sip. She looked to him expectantly, that same smile dangerously close to blooming in full across her lips. It was surprisingly good, he had to acknowledge. Though he still didn't understand the hoopla she'd made about it. The way her eyes lit up just before the first sip seemed a little much to him.

"Well?" She asked, placing one hand firmly on her hip.

"It's pretty good," He allowed, closing his eyes to avoid seeing the triumphant grin spread across her face. He could just imagine how smug she'd look. "What's the big deal about this stuff, anyways?"

"Hmm," She toned down her smile, thinking for a moment. "My mother used to make it for us."

That definitely wasn't the answer he expected from her.

"On cold days when we'd return home chilled from the walk back from school. We'd just kind of gather in the kitchen and she'd make us hot chocolate. She did a lot of little things like that." She set her mug down on the table top and spread her fingers across the cool wooden surface. "It's one of the few things I can remember clearly about her."

His gaze softened a bit. Her tenacious exterior made it easy to forget that she was vulnerable sometimes; that she had pain just like him. She didn't sound like she was looking for his pity. If anything, she'd be offended by it. She was only relaying the truthful answer to his question.

"Karin—"

"It's not a big deal," She cut him off, taking another sip. "She hasn't been around for a long time. I've dealt with that. My whole family has, in their weird individual ways."

"You must still miss her. Don't be so flippant about it."

"I'm just telling the truth." She didn't see how else to approach the subject. Making a big deal out of it would only contribute to tearing out the sutures she'd so carefully placed over that wound. "Besides, we're a tough family. Even though my dad's got the emotional maturity of a pre-schooler, we've still got Ichi-nii. And I'll be around for everyone, of course. For a long time."

She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. She would always be there for her family, no matter what. Even if she seemed irritable or caustic, she loved them.

"Karin,"

The voice wasn't Hitsugaya's.

Her eyes snapped open, "Whoa,"

She was lying in a dewy patch of grass, a cool breeze ghosting across her skin. She was definitely no longer in her kitchen. She hadn't awoken from a dream, but a memory. And the change in scenery was dizzying. Sitting up quickly, she gazed around in confusion.

"This can't be real…"She was lucky she could even eke out those words, the scenery she was surrounded by taking her breath away. A swollen moon hung too low and too full in the sky, as if she could reach up and graze its uneven surface with her fingertips. White daisies peppered the meadow, seeming to spring up and reach toward the sky with a mind of their own. Their petals glowed softly, miniatures of the moonlight they reflected. The meadow spread out like a patchwork quilt, bordered on the far edges by an otherworldly wood. She could see from where she sat that the trees were dark and gnarled. Much less inviting than the ethereal place she found herself in currently.

"It is real,"

"Who's there?" She started, just holding back a small gasp. It was the same voice from earlier, the feminine lilt almost mocking in its cloying sweetness. Smoke rose from the earth in front of her, the tendrils tangling in the icy breeze. They moved with a will of their own, rising to form the silhouette of a person. Karin's storm cloud eyes narrowed as she tensed, feeling the conflict of fight or flight beginning to creep in on her. Warmth radiated from the form, as if they were a lone flame flickering in the meadow.

"You cannot see me clearly, can you?" The voice seemed to be floating to her from the smoke.

"No," She shook her head slowly, feeling frozen in place.

"Let me fix that for you, Silly Goose." The voice giggled childishly, the noise irritating Karin. The smoke solidified in one dizzying instant, the figure of a young girl standing in the grass before Karin. She had to be only about ten years old. A tattered cloak that was black as the night sky draped over her shoulders, the heavy hood drooping over her face and hiding it from view. Karin was just able to make out the edges of a modified yukata underneath, the red and gold spun fabric torn short at mid-thigh. Just what kind of child was she looking at? What kind of little girl sheathed her legs in tight leather and delivered mockery like an adult?

"Who are you?" She asked, blinking up at the figure.

"You still don't get it~?" The girl removed her hood, revealing ebony hair that had been cleaved short, the tips flaring out to a golden-red color like dying embers. Everything about her was at once ravaged and captivating. The glint in her dark eyes was far too adult for her childish face. "My name is—"

"Excuse me?" She asked, her company's words seeming to garble beyond recognition. "I can't understand you."

The girl pulled a face, sticking out her tongue and furrowing her eyebrows. "I said my name is—"

"I still can't hear you,"

She huffed impatiently. "Fine, there's no time for that then. You have to wake up now, Karin."

"What the hell are you talking about now?"

"You don't understand much, do you? Silly girl."

"Don't be condescending to me, Kid." She crossed her arms stubbornly.

"Calm down," She giggled, "And don't worry. I'll be here to see you through."

"See me through what?"

The world around them began to blur at the edges. The little girl grinned mischievously, vanishing in a swirl of smoke. Karin wanted to yell after her, but her oxygen supply seemed to cut off. She gripped her neck with unsure fingertips as she attempted to take in another breath. The world blurred out of recognition until she couldn't make sense of anything. When air finally returned to her lungs, her sight was peppered with black spots. She gasped desperately, her vision returning.

The soft grass plain was gone, replaced by cracked concrete. She glanced around, catching her breath as she acclimatized to yet another change of setting. Had she woken up for real this time? Broken shafts of light filtered down to her through partially shattered windows. It was an abandoned industrial warehouse, the high vaulted ceiling held aloft by sagging metal beams. The place had to be condemned. But how had she gotten there?

Her eyes widened as she remembered.

"Momoka!" She shouted, springing to her feet. Her head was a little fuzzy, but she could recall that she'd been attacked and knocked unconscious. So her friend wasn't so friendly after all. Nor was she so human. But where was she then? A small sigh had her spinning on her heels to face the other end of the warehouse. Yuzu lay face-down on the pavement across the way, Matsumoto curled up a little beyond her. Karin's shouting must have stirred her in her unconsciousness. Her pink heart apron was tied over her school uniform.

That meant that she'd been abducted from the safety of their own kitchen.

"Yuzu-chan!" Karin exclaimed, rushing forward on still unsteady feet.

"No, you don't!" Momoka appeared impossibly fast, blocking her path. Karin stopped short in shock. She'd only ever seen Hitsugaya move that quickly before. Momoka held up two palms flat toward Karin's chest, her eyes narrowed. "Take one step more and I'll knock you with a kido spell so hard you won't wake up for a week."

"Move out of my way," She growled. Standing between her and her sister wasn't a smart place to be in her eyes. She set her lips in a flat defiant line and stared down her former acquaintance. Reiatsu began to gather around her, the ring on her finger glowing gently. This didn't slip under Momoka's radar, but she'd been prepared for this reaction.

She held out one hand toward the glowering Kurosaki, "Come with me, and I'll let little _Yuzu-chan _here go."

The mocking tone she used to refer to her sister made Karin's skin crawl. "How about, I make you let both of us go?"

"Aw, is that a threat?" She smirked, red reiatsu beginning to gather around her fingertips. "Cute,"

Just as Karin was about to hold up her hands in some attempt to defend herself, Momoka was swept backwards off her feet in a disorienting flash. She laid on the concrete ten feet back, eyes shut in unconsciousness.

"Kurosaki-san,"

A breath of relief shuddered through her lips before she could think better of it. The voice belonged to Hitsugaya. She turned to face him, reluctantly glad he'd bailed her out. Her relief washed away as soon as she realized he'd called her by her last name only. It was a far cry from the way he had taken to addressing her previously. He stood with his arms crossed, looking her up and down. He hadn't even needed to draw his zanpakuto to deal with Momoka.

She trained her face into a mildly grateful mask and nodded at him curtly, "Hitsugaya-taicho," Then she took the opportunity to run to her sister's side. He acted similarly, going to inspect his fukutaicho. This little girl he had found threatening Karin couldn't have been alone. Someone with her level of ability wouldn't have been able to take out Matsumoto.

He had to be on the lookout, because she was just a pawn.

Karin knelt, looking Yuzu over with concern evident in her eyes. She looked to be all in one piece with no obvious injuries. Hopefully she could get her home before she woke up. Then she'd interrogate a certain white-haired taicho about what the hell was going on. Voices floated across the vast space, echoing against the concrete and steel walls. She looked up to see the arrival of some old familiar faces. Three years had separated Karin from Orihime and Uryu, and both looked considerably more adult compared to when she'd last seen then. They filed in behind Urahara and Yoruichi, Orihime smiling her old peppy grin. It was comforting to see that some things didn't change.

Karin stood and tilted her head curiously, "Huh? Inoue-san, Ishida-san, what are you doing-"

"Karin-chan!" Orihime's shout cut her off, the sounds of shattering glass turning it into a garbled mess.

A hand seized Karin's shoulder and suddenly she was flying backwards, the room blurring before her eyes. An abrupt impact against the crumbling concrete wall took her breath away. Her vision returned slowly as she slumped to the ground. Everything had two outlines, the doubles swaying back and forth in a dizzying motion. But she could see enough to make out the figures that had infiltrated the building. Men in red cloaks identical to the one Momoka wore poured in through the high warehouse windows. Urahara and company made quick work of engaging them in battle, but she couldn't follow their movements without the speed of the exchanges making her feel nauseous.

Suddenly she was eye level with a pair of heavy black boots. A hand grabbed the back of her collar and pulled her to her feet. She squirmed, trying to wrench out of their reach. Her sight refocused itself on a man's face. It was the man with the machete. His was a face she recognized too quickly, her blood feeling as if it were going to boil. Her ring sparked dangerously, reiatsu concentrating again in the midst of her confusion and anger.

This was the man who was responsible for her brother's death.

* * *

**AN:** I already have the next chapter written, so I will update sooner! Please leave me a review to tell me how I'm doing! I'd appreciate it like crazy! Thank you!


	12. Porcelain Heart

Porcelain Heart

As a child, Karin had never liked dolls. Yuzu adored them, sewing soft pink dresses for them and brushing their synthetic hair to a fine sheen. The ritual of it struck Karin as silly. But the thing she hated most of all was the fact that so many of them were made of porcelain. When she questioned her twin about it, she was told the porcelain was beautiful to look at. Sure, it was smooth to the touch and a pleasant peachy-pale color, but did that really equate to superiority?

Not in Karin's eyes.

Porcelain was a material of inherent fragility. What was the point of owning a toy if you were only destined to store it on a shelf? It was the antithesis of everything she held dear as a child. The fact that these dolls were her first exposure to the idea of femininity would have lasting repercussions. Porcelain was breakable; people automatically handled it with care. She didn't want to be doted on. She wanted to be seen as equal.

She did not want to be like those stupid dolls.

But years and years later, those playthings flitted into her mind once more. She suddenly understood how it felt to be breakable. But not on the outside, mind you. She'd grown a thick skin of steel to protect something she'd been hiding for a long time.

A porcelain heart.

And now she found herself looking into the callous eyes of a man who smiled at her as if she were a kitten, struggling as he caught her by the scruff. "You must be little Karin."

"Let go of me, you shit." She spat.

To her shock, he did so, setting her gently on the ground but placing one hand next to her shoulder on the wall. He leaned in as if he were about to divulge a vital secret, his handsome face still gnarled by a scar. "Come now, you'll hurt my feelings. You should call me Osamu-san. I don't believe my name is shit."

Her ring sparked again, energy building up around her as her anger swelled in her chest. Just who was this pretentious bastard? He smirked at her, reaching out to cup her chin in his hand. She smacked it away without a moment of hesitation. His amusement only seemed to grow.

* * *

Hitsugaya's blade clashed against his assailant's, pushing him away with one final blow. A wave of energy captured his attention and he spun on his feet to face it. It was strong, pulsing and vital like rushing blood. And it was Karin's. His eyes narrowed at the sight of the full grown man who had her cornered like prey. One fist was clutched tight around a machete –the same one he'd used to almost kill her three years previously.

The temperature in the air around Hitsugaya dipped.

"Urahara!" He snapped.

Despite the fact that he was fighting off two men at once, the shopkeeper's tone was lazy as ever. "Yes, Hitsugaya-taicho?"

"Now would be a good time to employ that failsafe of yours."

It was all he had to say before he was rushing forward to intervene. This man was pushing Karin, and he knew that. He wasn't certain how far she would go before she snapped and unwittingly gave him just what he wanted from her. They'd tried to protect her by keeping her in the dark about everything, but with the way things were unfolding he was realizing that ignorance was not bliss.

Urahara pushed back his opponents, gaining himself just enough time to rummage into his jacket pocket and pull out a small black box. At first glance, it could've been mistaken for a ring box. But when he flipped it open, it only contained a small button. He pressed it urgently, regaining his grip on his sword quickly enough to fend off another attack.

A scathing reply was ready to leave Karin's lips when her lungs stopped working. The world faded out for a moment, her grey eyes widening to a childish size. Her expression grew blank and her knees buckled. Osamu took a step back, displeasure flickering across his features. She laid still, the flow of reiatsu cut off completely. According to Momoka's reports, her power had been tied up in that ring of hers. But nothing had been said about any other tricks they had up their sleeves. Just what had they done to her to switch her off and turn her into a rag doll like that?

That was a disturbing ability even for a quiet madman like Urahara.

She couldn't move. Even breathing felt like a feat of miraculous strength. Her whole body felt blank, like white noise or the grey snow that danced across a broken television screen. It was the only way to describe it. Black splotches overwhelmed her vision and the world grew quiet, the shouts of conflict stifled by some unseen force that blocked out her ears. She could feel her energy drain away, as if being contained inside the very ring that was supposed to amplify it. Urahara must have rigged the stupid thing. She'd been tricked.

But why?

Karin suddenly looked so small. It reminded Hitsugaya of just how preciously human she was. She laid across the ground, her eyes wide but somehow unseeing. She was a china doll left to be shattered against the bitter earth by uncaring boot soles. She'd been transformed into a pawn and she didn't even know it. Something inside of him hated seeing her like that. His teal eyes narrowed dangerously as he approached the man, sword drawn.

Osamu blocked his blow without so much as turning around. Hitsugaya's eyes widened. This was surprising, but not the end of the world. He'd faced much stronger opponents than this man.

But had he really?

After all, this was the man who had driven Kurosaki Ichigo of all people to ruin.

"Why am I not surprised at you, Hitsugaya-taicho?" There was a smirk in his voice that set Hitsugaya on edge.

* * *

Some yards way, Momoka stirred. The clashing of swords brought her back to the surface, despite her pounding head. The fact that she'd been taken down so easily was shameful, to say the least. She climbed to her feet, pulling her cloak tighter. Her recovery didn't go unnoticed. Osamu's machete skidded across the ground and came to rest at her feet. She picked it up, a frown growing across her lips. Plans had changed after all.

To her, this meant one thing.

* * *

_What kind of insane person threw away their weapon during a fight?_ Hitsugaya supposed he could ask himself what kind of person brought a machete up against a captain class zanpakuto in the first place. He didn't let it distract him, instead adding the odd move to the stew of things he was analyzing at that moment. He calculated his next move, delivering it with exacting precision. The shock finally hit him when the man grabbed his blade with his bare hand, effectively stopping it.

That shouldn't have been possible.

He grinned at the shock on the captain's face.

* * *

Just what was going on here? At first Yuzu had been amused. Sure it was odd to wake up and find herself in this abandoned building, but watching Urahara and his lady friend dance around like that was pretty funny. Not to mention Orihime and Uryu were there! How long had it been since she'd spoken with them? Maybe she'd invite them home for tea? Well, of course she'd wait until after they were all finished practicing whatever it was they were doing. It was all pretty funny.

Until she saw her sister.

"Karin-chan?" She whimpered, rushing to her side. Her nursing experience kicked in, fingers moving adeptly to check for a pulse in multiple places. She looked to see if she was breathing, asleep, _anything_. Too-warm tears pooled at the corners of her eyes. "No, Karin-chan. Please." Her broken voice was quiet, a soft plea. She positioned herself just right to begin emergency resuscitation. She wasn't going to let this happen. All they had left anymore was each other.

* * *

Karin resurfaced to shrieking. She coughed, the air feeling thick in her lungs. Since when had it become so hard to move? She sat up slowly, blinking in the filtered daylight that suddenly seemed too harsh. She'd never had a hangover, but she imagined this was what it was like. But at least she could move and see again. That was a step in the correct direction. The fighting was still going on, but she could take a moment to re-orient herself since no one was attacking her directly.

"Karin-chan!"

The shriek was the loudest yet, the words finally gaining meaning in her ears. "Yuzu-chan?" She called, "Yuzu-chan I'm right over—" Her words fell short, "There?"

How could she be in two places at once?

It was then that she realized a chain had blossomed from her heart, jangling emptily with every movement.

Her fingers laced tightly around it, "What…?"

"Karin-chan, don't leave me!" Yuzu's sob snapped her back into reality.

She stumbled to her sister's side, confused to see that the chain led back to her body. It was anchored to her body's chest as well, a strange link between them. Was she in some sort of limbo? She'd never known spirits to be attached to their bodies before.

But that meant she wasn't dead, right?

Her body certainly didn't look completely dead, but it didn't look good either. Her skin was a bluish pale color, the usual pleasant pink of her lips pallid. This wasn't the first time she'd watched herself from the outside, but that didn't make it any less unpleasant. The whole thing was surreal, making her wonder if she was just going to wake up again. This wasn't a dream within a dream: It was a nightmare. Yuzu's shoulders shook and she buried her face in Karin's body's chest. She hugged her body close, tears spilling over her cheeks and running down her neck. She hadn't cried that intensely in a while. And there Karin sat, useless. Her sister couldn't even see her.

"Yuzu-chan…" She mumbled impotently, pinching the inside of her cheek between her teeth. The physical pain helped her to mask her emotions. She needed to be able to think clearly. How could she get back into her body? "I won't leave you," She promised aloud, though her twin was deaf to her words. She stood, resolve clear in her eyes. She would figure this out.

Whatever all this shit was that was happening to her, it was affecting her entire family. It had been for years. She wouldn't take any more of this. Her reiatsu returned to her, pooling around her feet and emitting a blue-grey glow. With each of her sister's sobs, her anger grew. If she was in some sort of spirit form, that meant her ring was gone. It was only bonded to her physical body. Whatever limitations that had been put on her body didn't apply to her soul. Her energy felt like it flowed freer this way, like the ring was obsolete. She turned around to face the fray, leaving her sister behind her.

"Don't get any ideas," The smug voice came from Karin's right, and she glanced over to see Momoka.

She gestured to the chain that hung from her chest. "You did this to me?"

She nodded, holding up the machete and sneering in a way that was reminiscent of a cornered coyote. The top of the knife's handle had a small carving in it, and Karin recognized it as the same kind of marking that could be found on the bottom of Urahara's cane. She knew that must have meant something to someone, but it meant nothing to her. She had zero patience for Momoka, holding out her hands and performing a quick kido spell. It left her feeling a little weak, something in her chest tightening as the chain rattled. It was worth it to see the satisfying sight of the girl being blown back against the concrete wall. The machete slipped from her fingertips and landed against the pavement with a clatter.

"Karin-chan!" Orihime shouted above the din, echoing her cry from earlier. The blast of kido was enough to grab her attention. She thought Hitsugaya had been taking care of her. She watched in horror as the chain in Karin's chest creaked dangerously. The reiatsu in the area was too much. It was growing brittle.

The scream caught Hitsugaya's attention as he struggled against Osamu. Even without his primary weapon, he was impossibly skilled. The two had been standing at a slight distance, surveying each other and preparing for their next clash. His teal gaze whipped away from his opponent for a mere moment, widening at the sight of Karin, then narrowing dangerously. A visible cloud of energy swathed her, flickering and swirling like an odd combo of flame and smoke. She was growing unstable.

But then he noticed the chain.

Everything collapsed into one bleak singularity. His heart turned to stone, sinking heavily in his chest. The chain led to her body, which lay in the arms of her sobbing twin. This was unacceptable. It was his assignment to protect her, and he was failing at even that. His grip tightened on Hyorinmaru, knuckles going white. They'd found a way around Urahara's failsafe, but that meant ejecting Karin's soul from her body.

But that single moment he had taken to process what was going on with Karin had been more than enough to get him killed. Osamu slunk up behind him, a small dagger in his hand. Unbeknownst to the taicho, the weapon had been concealed on his person. In the split second it would take Hitsugaya to catch on, it would be over. What a shame.

But Karin saw it coming. Her whole world was focused on one thing: The man who had destroyed her family.

What happened next, Hitsugaya could only process in fragments. Shards of information came to him, but not the whole picture. There was a blue light accompanied by a girl's scream. The flash of a small blade as it flew just over his shoulder, the edge clipping his flesh and leaving a small trail of blood. There was an eerie frozen quality to the air and the unmistakable _snap _of metal. Three small drops of blood splattered across the ground, vibrant against the dull grey concrete. Everything had gone quiet.

Osamu looked to Karin with a bemused expression. The girl had used her momentary surge of energy to intervene on the taicho's behalf. How sweet. He'd had to change his maneuver half way through to dodge her attack. Not bad, considering her training was so minimal. She panted, something akin to disgust burning in her eyes. Her reiatsu immediately began to diminish once more. The spike in energy from emotional strife was short-lived. She couldn't control it, so she wasn't ready for what he had in store.

It was obvious to him then that she needed more time.

He snapped his fingers and pulled up the hood on his cloak, those he'd brought with him doing the same. And in a flash, they were gone. How could they all be masters of shunpo? None of it made sense to Karin. Only shinigami could do that, right? But as she came back to earth, she realized there were more important things to focus on. She met Hitsugaya's gaze, surprised to see his eyes so hard and concerned. Only then did she realize what she was holding in her hands. Somehow she had managed to make that blue blade manifest again. It was the same one she'd used to rescue her sister when—

Her sister!

The energy blade dissolved in her hands and she turned toward Yuzu where she sat silenced. She felt everyone's eyes on her. Only Yoruichi had pursued their attackers when they made their escape, which told Karin they were going to finish this fight another day. But why then was everybody so focused on her? She glanced over toward the rest of the group, locking eyes with Orihime and giving a tired tilt of her head.

"Hey…what's everybody staring-" The unfinished question was punctuated by a sharp intake of breath. Her fingertips moved instinctively to her chest. Her porcelain heart was cracking. A stabbing sensation spread through her limbs, unfurling from her torso. She found only six links of the chain dangling from her chest. The rest lay severed across the concrete.

The world turned sideways as she collapsed to the ground, pain overwhelming her senses. Every nerve ending in her small body burst raw and excruciating as her eyes closed. It was as if someone had hollowed her out and then filled her up again with fire. She didn't want to feel anything anymore.

"Karin-chan!" Hitsugaya's exclamation was the last thing she heard before she lost herself.

Kurosaki Karin was dead.

* * *

**AN: **I hope you liked it! Please drop me a review so I know how I'm doing~ It would mean the world to me because I put so much effort into this story. I'm sorry it jumped around so much this chapter, but I just had to explain what was going on with the different characters in order for it all to come together.

I know there are a lot of loose ends, especially concerning this new antagonist. I promise they will be tied in due time. Just be patient. Also, I hate making OCs (such as Momoka and Osamu) but I promise I did this for a reason.

I want you, the reader, to have as much knowledge of the situation as Karin. Which is very little. lol. I'm doing this on purpose, but things will be explained soon enough. Just sit tight.

Thanks!


	13. Abundant Secrets

Abundant Secrets

Many words had been attributed to Kurosaki Karin; spitfire, firecracker, willful. But looking at her now, Hitsugaya could only say she looked weathered. She hadn't been awake in days, her last moments of consciousness spent within the grey confines of that abandoned warehouse. She was under strict medical watch, all those entering her treatment room in the Fourth Division were ordered to wear face masks and suppress their reiatsu into almost non-existence. The young captain sat alone, accompanied only by the shrill beeping of the heart monitor. This reminded him all too much of the way she looked stretched out across a thin futon in Urahara's shop after the battle that had cost her her brother. But this time was more ominous, with tubes and wires hooked to her body sporadically, liquid medicines he didn't understand on slow drip into her veins.

That wasn't the only thing, though. It also conjured up memories of his childhood friend in a very similar position. His fists tightened at his sides. The injuries to both of those girls could have been prevented, and it was glaringly obvious to him that he'd failed them. He tended to fail anybody that got close to him, really. Now Karin was just as pallid and motionless as Hinamori had been. And it was all due to his shortcomings.

Karin's treatment was experimental, but with a good possibility for success. Hitsugaya had not been permitted to konso her. In the light of current events, having her memory-less and lost in the fray of the rukongai was not an option. So he'd carried her in his arms through a senkai gate and into the heart of the seireitei. Not many souls got a passage like that. It was second nature to members of the Kurosaki family to be exceptional, it seemed. But of course without the process of konso, her spiritual body would have a rougher time adjusting to the atmosphere of the Soul Society. Much rougher. But under careful watch, she would transition successfully. Or at least that's what Unohana-taicho had so patiently explained to him.

He had to know she was going to stabilize. After all, Karin's wellbeing was still his responsibility under the soutaicho's orders. It was funny how massively he was failing at that.

But his thoughts were interrupted by the arrival of a very frantic looking nurse. His dark hair was dangerously close to falling in his eyes, which looked large and mousy since the rest of his features were eclipsed behind a medical mask. Hitsugaya vaguely recognized him as Yamada. Yamada something, at least. He'd never bothered to learn his full name even though he'd encountered him before. He looked relieved to have spotted the taicho, but that relief soon turned to obvious anxiety.

"What is it?" Hitsugaya asked, his tone cool but muffled beneath his mask.

"I have an urgent message from Unohana-taicho, sir." He explained, holding out a folded sheet of paper and bowing timidly.

He unfolded the paper, reading it over with a grave expression. He hoped it wasn't a report on Karin's health. Paperwork like that was usually only delivered in dire circumstances. Her life had been in the balance ever since she was born, really. She didn't deserve to pay such heavy prices for things that were outside of her own control. But as he read on, it became very apparent that this matter wasn't about the bedridden girl before him. His eyes narrowed and he folded the page once more and tucked it into his shihakusho.

"Is this information correct, Yamada-san?"

He flinched as the taicho's impassive icy tone, "Y-yes. He's been on the uptick for a while now."

"How long?"

"Since about six weeks ago, sir. But recovery has been slowing down recently."

"How recently?"

"About three days ago,"

Six weeks ago was when it started, and three days ago was when it slowed? He folded his arms, turning away from Karin with a scowl growing across his face. Yamada followed his actions, orienting himself to face the captain. If Hitsugaya's estimation was correct, it started about the same time that Karin had taken up her training with Urahara and ended about the time she'd died. He'd known the man had ulterior motives, but if those two events were connected his motives ran deeper than Hitsugaya had originally assumed. So it wasn't all about Karin recovering her memories. If he was correct, _this_ had been the shopkeeper's true end goal.

But how did it all add up? The connection still felt a bit tenuous to him.

"Where are they now, Yamada-san?" He asked tensely.

"Room 110,"

The temperature seemed to drop by a few degrees as he turned on poor Yamada, "You placed Kurosaki in the same wing as them?!"

"They are both in need of intensive care, so they were both brought here." He nodded weakly.

Before Hitsugaya's temper could flare out in another snappy statement, they were interrupted by the frantic sound of Karin's heart monitor going flat.

* * *

She came back to the surface slowly, almost as if testing the waters. She was aware of the beeping first. It was a flat, rhythmic tone that eventually made her want to smash her head against a wall. Relief came soon in the form of voices floating to her above the droning tone of the beeps. One voice came in a familiar chill, the other too mousy to belong to anybody she'd ever encountered. Where was she? And why couldn't she open her eyes? She felt heavy, well aware of the feel of the scratchy industrial cotton sheets against her skin, but unable to move so much as a finger. She was imprisoned in her own body, straining to understand the hushed words of the conversation.

She had to move. She focused on fighting off the heaviness, despite the drowsy tendril of sleep trying to pull her back into unconsciousness. As she fought her silent battle, she asked herself again: Where was she? How had she gotten into this immobile state? The how hit her hard and fast, though she was still clueless as to the where. Memories inundated her mind, leaving her swimming in the previous events.

She'd made a promise to Yuzu. One she had to keep.

Finally, she was able to break free of whatever state she was in. Her eyes flickered open, but were immediately blinded by a too-bright white-washed light. Her fingers fumbled clumsily along her arm until she found the location of what felt like an IV. Her other fingers laced between wires that were firmly attached to the smooth skin just beneath her collar bones. She tugged at them ruthlessly, hearing the irritating shrill beeping transform into one irritating shrill tone. She cringed in pain when she removed the needle, sitting up despite how dazed she still felt. She gasped for breath, the air feeling less like air and more like jell-o as if settled too-thick in her lungs.

"Y-yuzu-chan!" She sputtered, blinking rapidly in an attempt to adjust to the light and get her bearings.

"Oh my!" The more timid voice exclaimed. Their face blurred in and out of view as they rushed toward her. They wore a medical apron and a mask, a strange insignia emblazoned on their uniform. She'd never seen them a single day in her life, and as she became more aware she realized this entire room was unfamiliar. Had she been captured? Had one of her attackers managed to come back and snatch her up while she was unconscious? Her sight blurred radically, reducing her surroundings to nothing but a mass of colors and shapes. But she could feel hands on her shoulders; hands that were trying to pin her back against the mattress. So she fought.

"Let me go!" She demanded, her voice cracking from days without use, "Yuzu needs me!" It was becoming harder and harder to breathe. Something in the atmosphere itself felt wrong, like her body was rejecting it.

"Hey," The voice was smooth and low, a very practiced tone that was obviously meant to soothe her.

Her vision came into focus again, only this time it was a familiar shocking shade of teal that greeted her. The sight of Hitsugaya's eyes was familiar, and a small part of her was calmed by that. She froze, realizing the hands on her shoulders were his. If he was there, that meant she wasn't in enemy territory, right? Her grey eyes widened, as they trained themselves on his face. He was the only thing that made sense in this alien room. But even then, most of his features were hidden behind a surgical mask.

But his eyes were enough to anchor her, at least for the moment.

"Where am I?" The question tumbled out in a whisper, unable to draw enough breath for normal volume.

His eyes widened just a small amount. If she hadn't been so transfixed, she wouldn't have noticed. He knew the answer, she could tell. But he didn't seem to want to provide it. But before she could attempt to question him further, a stabbing pain in her arm startled her. She cringed, letting out a small gasp of pain. The strange nurse she'd seen earlier had re-appeared at her bedside and taken her moment of stillness as an opportunity to stick her with some kind of injection. They removed the needle quickly, taking a few steps back from her bed.

That heavy feeling began to tug at the edges of her mind again, and soon her limbs would grow useless. She'd been drugged. She turned her gaze back to Hitsugaya to shoot him a look of anger and hurt, venom infused in her storm cloud eyes. She could tell from the way her tongue felt so thick in her mouth that if she tried to talk then, the words would only come out slurred. She was receding from the world again, but she could still feel his hands wrapped securely over her shoulders.

It wasn't until she had gone begrudgingly limp in his arms that he finally lay her back down across the mattress.

* * *

Karin had been panicking. Her shock about the whole situation had made it impossible for her to successfully readjust to consciousness without serious complications. It was standard procedure to put her out again.

But none of that was an excuse for the betrayed look in her eyes as she was dragged under a drugged tide against her will.

They should give it another day or so to see if they could wean her off the sedatives slowly. He should get back to work. Let the Fourth Division do their business. All these suggestions were more than correct. So he found himself back behind his desk, filing a mandatory report on the events that had lead up to Karin's attack. The soutaicho had been stern, but had not released Hitsugaya from his duties of looking after her. Then again, the situation could change any day.

His fukutaicho was AWOL, as usual. But despite his irritation at her absence, he was almost glad to be alone. Obscuring thoughts and feelings behind a mask of indifference was his signature skill. But he still felt these were not the kinds of thoughts he wanted to be lingering on in the presence of the busty blonde. She could sniff out one of his funky moods from a mile away.

He supposed the most disturbing thing was that she had shouted her sister's name with such conviction. The last time he'd seen the youngest Kurosaki, she'd been sobbing over a body that no longer held anything of worth. The family had been effectively gutted, wrenched to pieces as each person was ripped from those they loved most. The other captains regarded the situation as most unfortunate. But they hadn't been the ones to look into the red-rimmed eyes of Karin's twin. They hadn't had to steal away the heart and soul of everything that small girl had in her world.

They hadn't had to watch the family collapse first-hand.

He let out a heavy sigh, dropping his pen and rubbing his temples gingerly. The girl was removed from her twin, but she was no doubt in the capable hands of her father. What happened to the remains of the Kurosaki family was not his concern. They were experts at picking up the pieces. His duties lay elsewhere, and he knew it. Every war had its casualties. Of course, it would be easier to adapt that way of thinking if this hadn't been his fault.

At the end of the day, he knew she'd died to protect him.

He was the object of Kurosaki Karin's scorn. The only times their eyes had met those final days, she'd regarded him as a stranger. He was the poacher, and she the wounded tigress. She'd spat words of acid, but the fire in her eyes had been strangely snuffed out. But despite all of that, when he was in his moment of need –which shouldn't have happened in the first place— she'd put herself in harm's way as the flame in her eyes flickered back to light.

He was the object of Kurosaki Karin's care. No matter how begrudging it was at the moment, it was very much still present. And he wasn't entirely certain what he'd done to warrant that.

The whisper of a Hell Butterfly's flight broke him from his thoughts. It ghosted in through the open window and landed gingerly on the fingertip he offered. Midnight patterns etched across its restless wings as it settled down and delivered its message. The taicho's eyes widened for a moment before he shooed the insect away. He didn't even stay at his desk long enough to see the frazzled flurry of wings as it fluttered hastily to the window once more.

* * *

Consciousness was almost a welcome retreat by the time Karin's eyes blinked open once more. She'd been trapped in that meadow of daisies, the strange cloaked girl who resided there intent on talking her in circles. If Karin heard one more of her condescending giggles, she was going to slam her fist in her face. She didn't even know the girl's name, since she insisted on slurring her speech into unrecognizable oblivion every time she introduced herself. But she did know that she'd had quite enough of her invading her dreams.

This time, she had been ready to welcome her foreign environment. She'd learned her lesson that having a panic attack only led to unwanted sedatives, and she'd be damned if she let anyone knock her out like that again. The air was breathable this time, if she just kept calm. She took a slow breath, making sure to be mindful of her IV line as she sat up. Of course, she didn't have long to adjust before she was swept up in a hug so tight that she nearly gagged. Her face was firmly pressed against what was unmistakably the warm flesh of cleavage and she sputtered in shock.

"Karin-chan!" The bubbly tone could belong to none other than Rangiku Matsumoto, "You're awake!"

She emitted a muffled affirmative, barely able to draw the breath to do so.

"I'll um…I'll be back to check her vitals in a moment," The voice filtered from behind Matsumoto, and Karin recognized it as belonging to the mousy male nurse from earlier.

_The guy who knocked me out,_ She registered with more than a hint of irritation.

She was released from the hug, only for the both of them to be startled by the appearance of a new visitor in the doorway. The nurse was replaced by a woman Karin would recognize anywhere.

"Rukia-san?" She blinked in surprise. The dark-haired woman's status as a shinigami had been revealed to Karin by chance years ago. She'd rescued her from a rather strong hollow, and she was thankful for that. She'd always known something was off with Rukia, but she never would have guessed it was because she was like her brother.

And now she was stepping gracefully into the room, her fukutaicho badge strapped proudly to her arm. Her hair had been sheared shorter, feathering softly around her feminine face. Her lips pursed into an expression of surprise, her face uncovered since the nurses had relaxed their surgical mask rule.

"Karin-chan…"

She hadn't seen Ichigo's little sister in years. She was growing into quite a pretty young woman. No, she _had grown_ into a pretty young woman. Rukia had to correct the tense in her mind after she'd thought it. The fact that she was here in the Fourth Division meant one thing: she had died. She'd gotten word of it through the grapevine, but it was odd to see it for herself. She couldn't recall a time she'd seen Karin without her twin. She offered up a small smile, coming to stand by her fellow fukutaicho at the girl's bedside.

Karin blinked in surprise, "I haven't seen you since…" Ichigo died. She changed conversation tactics immediately. "I mean…what are you doing here?" She didn't bother to mention the fact that she didn't know where "here" was.

She hesitated for a beat too long. "I was visiting someone else, and when I heard you were here I decided to drop by."

"Someone else?" She questioned.

Rangiku bounced on her heels, interjecting quickly, "You must be starving, Karin-chan! Want me to get you some food?"

"Uh, no that's okay." She shook her head, even though she really was hungry. She wouldn't be thrown off that easily.

But if they wanted to avoid answering her, she'd just have to find out what Rukia had been saying on her own.

"You've grown so much," Rukia said, "I don't think I've ever seen your hair this long."

"I know," She nodded, "I needed a haircut before-" Her words cut off abruptly and her eyes widened. "Rukia-san…this isn't the hospital, is it?" Her final moments hit her in a flash that nearly floored her. That strange chain that had connected her to her body had severed, swallowing her in an oblivion that she hadn't quite shaken until this moment. Her fists tightened around the thin blanket that was draped over her. "Not the hospital in Karakura."

She looked down at the tile floor, shaking her head slowly. Matsumoto rested a hand comfortingly over Karin's clenched fingertips.

She'd known it all along, somehow. This place felt alien down to her bones. This must have been the other side; the place that the shinigami were always running off to. Urahara once told her it was called the Soul Society. She pressed her lips into a thin line, willing herself not to cry. She hadn't cried for nearly a decade. She was not going to break that streak now.

"I see," She breathed the words, uncurling her fists in acceptance, "Well, damn."

Matsumoto looked at her in astonishment, "That's it?"

"Is there anything else I'm supposed to do? Should I be demanding a memorial or something?" She deadpanned.

"I guess not," The blonde allowed. It was strange that she accepted her own demise so cavalierly. For such a young girl, she had a surprising underlying streak of maturity.

"This is kind of a damn shame, but _c'est la vie_." She let the irony of the expression pass without mention, "But I guess that means I'll be needing some things."

"Things?" Rukia asked.

"Yeah. If you think I'll be okay with running around in this lame ass yukata you have another thing coming." She shrugged, "I'll be stuck here for a while, it looks like so…"

"A while?" The question didn't originate from either of the fukutaicho she'd been talking to. It was accompanied by a cold sarcastic snort. The three immediately looked to the doorway to find Hitsugaya standing with crossed arms. Yamada Hanataro, the nurse from earlier, hovered behind him. The way Karin's expression immediately iced over didn't go unnoticed by Matsumoto.

He'd calmed her panic upon her first awakening. She'd anchored herself in the cerulean sea of his eyes when nothing else made sense; sunk into his arms when she was no longer strong enough to withstand the siren call of the sedative that coursed through her small body. But all of that was behind her now and she remembered just why she had felt such bitterness toward him before.

He was still the one who had betrayed her the most deeply, without apologizing even once.

He stepped further into the room. He was relieved to see she was awake, but he wasn't about to make that known. Not when she was spouting such idealistic gibberish. She needed a serious reality check. He knew well that false hope could be crippling. "Where do you think you're going after a while?"

"Home," She insisted, arms crossed to match his show of stubbornness.

He raised an eyebrow and shook his head, "Kurosaki, I don't think you understand what's going on here."

"I think I do, _Hitsugaya-taicho_." His name had more of a biting edge to it than necessary, and she didn't care.

For a moment they stared each other down, glacier eyes against a thunder storm. The two fukutaicho looked awkwardly between them, Rukia much more clueless than Matsumoto. When had they started addressing each other so distantly?

Finally, Karin continued, "I'm not an idiot. I'm not expecting it to be soon. But if you think I'm not going to say a proper goodbye to my family, you're wrong."

He didn't bother to contest her statement, only shaking his head slowly.

She elected to ignore the movement, and instead chirped jarringly happily to Matsumoto, "I think I'm ready for that food you offered earlier."

* * *

Yuzu pretended to be asleep when her door creaked open. It was 3AM on the first night she'd been able to sleep alone in her own bed. Ichigo's room was like a crypt she knew only her sister had been bold enough to enter. Now her own bedroom had turned to a mausoleum of sorts. She kept her eyes closed and breathing slow.

She knew it was her father creeping in. He stopped just by her bed, tracking the rhythm of her breaths just to be sure. She listened as he zipped open a bag and began the quiet process of packing a few items into it from Karin's drawers. She wasn't certain why he was doing that, but she wasn't about to break her ruse to ask. She'd recently been floored by the revelation that shinigami existed. That her brother had been one of them, and her father still was. In the tumultuous wake Karin left, she learned many things.

For the time being, she stopped trying to make sense of it.

* * *

"Goooooood moooooorning, Karin!"

She knew that voice.

"Get out!" She hissed, swatting at the air over her bed and refusing to open her eyes.

Wait. _She knew that voice._

Her eyes snapped open and she sat up. "D-dad?!" She rubbed her eyes sleepily, trying to focus on the figure at her bedside.

"The one and only," He winked playfully.

There he was goatee and all. It was hard to recognize him at first without his tasteless tropical print shirts. She was confused to see that he was clothed head to toe in the uniform of a shinigami. She groaned, "Don't tell me you're one of them, too?"

He nodded enthusiastically, "Karin-chan's so bright!" But before he could say anything else, he received an aggressive smack to the face with her pillow.

"You've hidden this from me for how long now?! And you only bother to tell me once I'm dead?! Great! That's great! Who doesn't have a secret they're keeping from me?" She snapped, "And it's not even morning yet!"

"Two A.M. is close enough~" He bounced back quickly, tossing her pillow back into her lap. "I didn't want you involved in any of this. You have to understand." The second half came out in a much more serious, clipped tone.

She couldn't fault him on that, really. Hadn't she been essentially doing the same to Yuzu? She sighed, "What're you doing here?"

"Rukia-chan informed me that you needed a few things." He held up a small duffel bag for her to see, "She figured it would be best to let your dear old dad do the delivering."

She moved her pillow back to its original position, snuggling into it tiredly. "Okay, but why are you here in the middle of the damn night?"

"I didn't want Yuzu-chan to worry about where Daddy was going, of course." He chirped.

"Oh," She looked even more tired at the mention of her twin.

He tried to save himself, "How about we have a nice father-daughter bite to eat together?"

She rolled her eyes, "Maybe let me sleep for a few more hours and I'll let you eat breakfast at my bedside."

"Aw, why are you so mean? Daddy came a long ways to see his Karin-chan! Inter-dimensional travel isn't easy, you know!"

"Shh!" She rolled over with her back to him, closing her eyes tightly.

He got the hint, falling silent enough to appease her. It wasn't long before her breaths matched the slow and steady pace that Yuzu's had set. The sisters were still in sync, despite the barriers that had sprung up between them. He smiled and patted her shoulder lightly.

Yeah, Karin was strong enough to handle this.

* * *

**AN:** This was a pretty lengthy chapter. I feel like they're all going to end up getting pretty long from now on.

Don't worry, Karin and Toshiro won't be at odds forever, though things will definitely get worse before they get better.

Thank you so much to everybody who has taken the time to review my story. Your input really spurs me on when I'm writing updates. And with that said, please let me know what you thought of this chapter in a review! It takes like two minutes and it makes my entire day. Thank you!


	14. The Impossible

**AN: **This one's a doozy, folks. Thanks for being patient! I started the spring semester, so it's been hectic. But I finally got time to finish this! It's super fricking long to make up for the fact that I made you guys wait over a month. Enjoy!

**UPDATE (2/18/13): **I've gotten multiple questions from readers about why Hitsugaya calls Karin "Karin-chan." I know that's something he would normally consider too childish. There's actually a back story to why he did that coming up in the next chapter, so it will make more sense soon. Sorry if that was difficult to follow!

* * *

The Impossible

"I really can't escape this place, can I?" Karin mumbled, rubbing her eyes wearily.

"Now, now! Don't be so grumpy, Silly Goose!" The little girl giggled, a smile in her voice despite Karin's caustic aura. The girl's hood was up, veiling her face in an eerie kind of shadow.

"What is this?" Her hands found their way to the top of her head, where a small crown of glowing daisies adorned her raven hair. She yanked it off and held it at arm's length.

"I made it for you while you were out!" She beamed, sliding off her hood to reveal a similar daisy chain atop her own head, "We match!"

"No thanks," She dropped the child's handiwork in the dewy grass, standing so that she towered over the girl.

"Somebody's grumpy,"

"Well, I wouldn't be if you just let me sleep for once!" Whoever this girl was, she was obnoxious beyond belief. All Karin wanted was a healthy chunk of unconsciousness. But no, she couldn't even have that. Maybe this girl was a figment of her imagination? A psychotic break really didn't sound all that unlikely to her. "Just who the hell are you, anyways?"

She stood on her tip-toes to tap Karin on the nose with a precocious grin, "You're so slow~"

"Am not!" She huffed in return, swatting her hand away from her face. She glanced around them, taking in the increasingly familiar sight of the meadow. The daisies still gleamed with an otherworldly light, the pale moon presiding over the scene with a kind of stoic serenity. But something felt different this time… "Hey," Her sour expression sobered, "Is it me, or is the meadow smaller?"

"You noticed, huh?" The girl turned away from her, her expression now impossible to monitor. Her suddenly solemn voice was very telling, "The trees have been getting closer."

The gnarled branches had only been visible from a distance before, seeming like a harmless backdrop to the ethereal beauty of the meadow. The forest was enshrouded in a darkness that seemed too thick to be real, and it was encroaching into the little girl's territory. It almost seemed as if the trees had a consciousness of their own as they crept forward. She didn't seem all that thrilled with it. She sighed and crossed her arms, turning to face Karin once more with a look of childish irritation.

"Why is that happening?"

"The forest won't stop edging in until your heart is no longer eclipsed." She explained with a clarity beyond her years, as if it were only obvious. She raised a hand and pressed her fingertips to Karin's chest, just beneath her throat. Her touch was warm, as if a low smoldering flame was hidden beneath her skin. "Your flame can't burn bright if it is snuffed out by lies."

She froze, looking into the girl's eyes with confusion. "What the hell are you talking about?"

She burst into laughter, lowering her hand. "Silly Goose! You still don't get it!" She pouted comically, "I'm trying to give you hints, too."

"Quit calling me that,"

She didn't seem to hear her request, "I know! Let's play a game of hide and seek!" She clapped enthusiastically, "You're it! So go seek~"

"Seek what?"

"The truth, Silly Goose! As you start to find it, you'll start to find me."

"What's that supposed to mean?" She asked, pouting indignantly. The girl's form began to blur, dissolving into tendrils of gray smoke from her bare feet upwards. "No, no, no. You are not leaving without explaining this crap to-"

But the meadow had faded before she could finish her complaint.

* * *

In the morning, Isshin made his exit quietly and with a kind of precision employed by those who wish not to be seen by many. Of course, the questions his precocious daughter flung at him over their lukewarm hospital breakfast shouldn't have taken him by surprise. Karin's usual practice of practically inhaling her breakfast was replaced as she picked at the meal slowly. It was her father's first tip that something was on her mind. He nibbled on a slice of toast, well aware of the fact that he needed to return to Karakura soon before Yuzu woke up.

Her eventual accusation was not unforeseen by him. She set her glass down on her tray unnecessarily firmly and scowled at him. "Okay, Goat Chin. I think you need to cut the shit and come clean to me. Now." Her tone was flat, but as he searched her eyes there was the tiniest hidden spark of anger. He had to be cautious not to fan the flames.

Her mind had raced, not occupied enough by the process of stirring her cup of tea. She occasionally sipped at it, though nothing she ate tasted like much in particular. She just kept hearing the strange girl's teasing words echoing through her thoughts. _As you start to find it, you'll start to find me._ Her mind was a canyon, filled to the brim with a heavy current of thoughts that separated her from the rest of the world. Everything was simultaneously at her fingertips and unreachable. She realized that it was funny how paradoxes happened all the time.

Something had to be done about this.

He looked aghast, "Is that any way for a lovely young lady to speak to her gracious father?"

Her eyes narrowed dangerously. "Dad,"

He sobered, "I knew this was coming," His steady tone was a reminder that no matter how kooky he acted, beneath the ruse was some sort of level head. Even if it was nearly impossible to get through to it.

She crossed her arms, a one-woman fortress. She would settle for nothing less than the honest to God truth, and it was written all over her face. "I'm _dead_, Dad. And I think I deserve to know why." She tried to ignore the obvious pain that came with the statement. The facts were the facts.

He seemed to look her over for a long while, and she allowed him the time to think. When he finally spoke again, a decision had solidified in his eyes. "The people who attacked you belonged to the Kohaku family. They used to be a major noble house in the Soul Society."

"Used to be?"

He shook his head, and if she didn't know better she would've thought she saw a small bitter smile cross his face. "It's a long story. They had internal dissent that got ugly. They fell from grace in the eyes of the public and each other. In the midst of the struggles, some major players in the family were charged with crimes against the Gotei Thirteen. They insisted it was a misunderstanding, but…I'm certain that it wasn't."

The look in his eyes was like nothing she'd seen previously. It was like some unknown kind of nostalgia; reminiscent of the way war veterans talk about their old battles. She frowned, "But what the hell would they want from me?"

"The family was banished from the Seireitei, though until recent years it came to be widely believed that they died out." His gaze shifted to her, "I had some disagreements with members of the family in the past, and we were never on the best of terms. I'm honestly still figuring it all out right now, Sweetheart. But…what they did to you was very much on purpose."

Her breath caught, causing her to shift slightly away from him. If this was true –if she had indeed been a very purposeful target—that meant that her brother had been a target before her. But why? "I…I don't understand," She admitted, "If they had issues with _you_ why are they bothering with me and-" Ichigo. She stopped short before the name that would be too hard to swallow. Did her father even know about him? It was beginning to be hard to determine which one of them was the clueless one anymore.

"That's what I'm trying to put together too," He nodded, patting her hand. "But don't worry about it for now, all right? You've got enough to adjust to. You're safe here." He stood, shooting her a sympathetic smile. "I need to get going, but I'll visit again soon. I promise."

"What about Yuzu-chan?"

The question had him stopped in his tracks, "She's just as safe as you are."

She scoffed, "That's reassuring."

He ignored her sarcasm, "It should be."

And with that, he was gone. The vacuum of loneliness left in her father's wake startled her and she wriggled restlessly in her bed. What were you supposed to do after a discussion like that? It was difficult to keep up with this world she had been tossed headlong into. But if there was anything Kurosaki Karin was good at, it was pulling herself up by the bootstraps and adapting.

And that was just what she aimed to do.

* * *

Around mid-morning, Matsumoto arrived in Karin's room in a flurry, all sake-fueled smiles. Her company was a welcome reprieve from the monotony of bed rest, and Karin was finding herself warming up to the busty blonde much quicker than she thought she would.

"I saw your father leaving and thought I'd stop by to say hello." She pulled up a chair by the bed, instantly at home.

Karin snorted, "Avoiding more work, huh?"

Her expression was colored with mock offense, "How do you know that?"

"Oh, Tosh—_Hitsugaya-taicho's_ told me plenty."

"So how did you sleep last night?"

The abrupt change in topic didn't escape her attention, but she let it go for the time being. "Er…it could've been worse."

She probed cautiously, "Are you still having those strange dreams about those pictures and voices?"

She shook her head, "Well, the pictures are gone. They were flashbacks from before my memory was restored or something."

"And the voices?"

Karin just sighed. There wasn't much she really felt like saying about it right then. What was she supposed to do? Confess that she was regularly visited in her sleep by a creepy little girl? She was probably unstable enough as it was without making it overly abundant just how much of a mess she really was. She crossed her arms over her chest, but made no move to answer the question directly.

Her body language was enough of an answer for Matsumoto. A small frown flitted across her face and she looked at Karin with fresh eyes. Before her was a girl who was forced to grow up too quickly, not terribly unlike herself when she was her age. With her exceptional lineage and all that she'd been through recently, would it be all that unbelievable if something had majorly disrupted her soul's natural progression?

She took in the sight of the Kurosaki girl's face. There was a feminine softness that would never go away, but with a sharpness in her eyes that seemed much too old. There was an overwhelming sense of being lost, in Matsumoto's eyes. A feeling she could empathize with all too well. Could it be that Karin's zanpakuto spirit had awoken early from all of the activity that was going on in her life? She had forced her reiatsu into some form of crude maturity in life, so did that mean the consequences of such an action would carry over into death? She was no scientist, so she couldn't fully draw the conclusion herself. But that wouldn't prevent her from trying to lend a guiding hand.

Her gaze softened and she tilted her head toward Karin, "I can't stay long, but I can show you something that may help. Do you have much experience in meditation, Karin-chan?"

* * *

He loved her. Perhaps once he even thought himself to be _in_ love with her. But that was a long time ago. Hitsugaya found himself across the table from the girl who used to be so dear to him. His childhood friend and confidante had been so changed by the manipulations of the dirt bags around her. Well to say that Hinamori Momo was no longer dear to him would be inaccurate, but as he took an impatient sip of his tea he could feel his nerves fraying ever so slightly.

It was in her posture. The stiff squaring of her shoulders as if she were terribly conscious of herself. It was in her laughter. Trilling and edged with nervousness. He'd once thought it pealed like wind chimes; now it rang out with a kind of hollow ache, a shadow of what it used to be. It was in her everything. She'd recovered amazingly from the hell she'd been dragged through, but there was still something missing. Deep down, they both knew it. She worked so hard to appear fine, like she had it together. But there were cracks in her armor that never went unnoticed by him.

"Hirako-taicho actually did a lot of extra paperwork for me so I could come out with you today," She smiled delicately, swirling her soup with her spoon. "He's been so good for me and for the division."

"That's good to hear," He nodded absently, "I'm just glad you're not saddled with all the work for the Fifth anymore."

"Oh, it was never too much trouble."

That was a falsehood to end all falsehoods, but he let it go. You had to pick and choose your battles, and this was one that he didn't feel the need to fight for. She would begin to admit the simple truths to herself soon enough. She had to. And he knew she was well on her way to a full recovery. Her heart had become like a bird, wings fluttering as if constructed of sheets of paper. Thin, wind-blown, and looking for refuge. But she was a grown woman now, he had to remember. She could take care of herself. A weariness about her had settled in his bones, one that made him feel deeply guilty.

But that weariness was not without company.

Now whenever he closed his eyes, he saw _her_. She was all stiff joints and blue lips, a corpse. Cutting sarcastic glares and biting remarks, a girl turned to a ghost before her time. He couldn't recall the last time he'd spoken to her that hadn't been some kind of argument. Even before she—

Died.

He flinched at the finished thought.

Funny, how a so-called god of death could find guilt in something so familiar.

Death.

It was a shinigami's own strange bedfellow, and one that had frightened him for the first time.

Kurosaki Karin was nothing but trouble.

"Shiro-kun? Is there something on your mind?"

Impossibly blue eyes shifted up from where they had been staring into his cup, as if he'd been searching for the secrets of the universe in his jasmine tea. He shook his head slowly, "It's nothing you need to worry about, Hinamori." He frowned, "And for the last time, don't call me that."

She giggled her hollow giggle, "Whatever you say," She usually liked being scolded by him. It was the closest they had gotten to playing in a long while; the only game they had left. But this time something felt wrong to her, as if he'd tacked on the order merely out of obligation. Something was definitely on his mind. Smile fading, she took a sip of her soup and let her gaze wander out the window.

This felt like an obligation, the same as filing paperwork. He needed to sit through their lunches and tea breaks because he cared for her. But he was figuring out that he didn't care for her in the way that he used to think he did. Their relationship suffered a permanent fracture. And for the first time, he didn't really know if he wanted to repair it to the way it used to be. Or if it was even possible.

* * *

Across the Seireitei, Kurosaki Karin was eating her own lunch. Or, it should be said, _had_ eaten her own lunch. She wasn't entirely certain if it was all this damn emotional stress or what, but since she'd woken in the hospital her appetite had become insane. She sighed, a bored look in her eyes as she traced her chopsticks along the edge of her plate. She glanced at the nurse, whom she'd come to know as Hanatarou, as he scribbled something on the chart that hung off her bed. She'd been freed from her IV and heart monitor that morning, but the medical staff had still been ever-present as always.

"Hey, Hanatarou?"

"E-eh?" He glanced up at her, a deer in the headlights, "Yes?" It was still quite a shock to be called by his first name like that, but he didn't mind. Nobody ever really liked to act familiar with him like that. It was a welcome change of pace. Of course, Karin hadn't thought much of it at all.

"Do you think I could have seconds?" She grinned sheepishly, gesturing to her empty plate.

"Oh! Um…I have to examine someone, but there is a cart of food just down the hall. You can take another plate if you'd like since they always have extra." He gestured loosely to the door, "Walking a short distance like that would be good for you anyways, since you're likely to be released soon."

"Really?" A full smile burst across her lips.

He nodded, "Of course, Kurosaki-san."

"Sweet! Thanks!" She moved the plate to the bedside table, slipping out of bed with a surprising amount of energy. Hanatarou noted that she was bouncing back very quickly, which wasn't all that surprising considering who her brother had been. The two split ways at the door, Hanatarou disappearing around the bend in the hall.

Finding the cart was easy, the smell of warm stew easy to spot amid the mostly sterile hall. Her fingers clasped tightly around a tray, her stomach grumbling quietly. It wasn't her sister's cooking by a long shot, but it would do. She froze, the tray barely hovering over the cart's surface. Her body tensed as the light rhythm hit her ears. It was a rhythm she had become very familiar with.

A heart monitor.

It was a strange thing to hear, since her room appeared to be the furthest occupied room in that wing of the building. She'd never seen any of the staff go further than her door. So…what was a heart monitor doing in operation on this end of the hall? What Rukia said about visiting somebody suddenly hit her, and she quietly set the try down. She was pretty sure she wasn't supposed to be wandering any further. It wasn't like she wanted her nurse to get in trouble for something she did but… With a glance over her shoulder, she gave fully into temptation.

The rhythm led her to a firmly closed door. Without an ounce of hesitation, she grasped the knob tightly.

* * *

Hitsugaya was drifting in and out of focus on their conversation. Their bowls had long been emptied, his tea cooled to an unappealing lukewarm. She chattered enthusiastically about some joke Izuru had told her the other day, struggling cutely to not forget the punch line.

"So then the baby tomato is struggling to keep up and-" She paused, pursing her lips, "Ah! The daddy tomato got really impatient. So he goes over to the baby tomato and you know what he does?"

He shook his head.

"He squishes him! Just like that. And says, 'ketchup!'" She giggled, but didn't much expect him to laugh along with her. Though it would've been nice…

He cracked a small smile for her, lips parting in some kind of response. But then he froze, his grip tightening around his cup. A flare of reiatsu piqued his attention, distant but most definitely familiar. It ebbed and flowed before rising to a sharp peak and crashing down like a freak wave. "Did you feel that?"

She tilted her head, "Feel what?"

How had she not felt that reiatsu? Sure it was distanced, but it was intense. It felt like it was coming from around the—

Fourth Division.

It had to be Karin. He must have been in tune to her reiatsu after babysitting her for so long in the human world. But should she have even been capable of that kind of energy? She was supposed to be on bed rest. A knot settled in his gut, and he tried to coax it away as he stood. Concern was natural, after all her wellbeing was his assignment.

He rifled through his pocket for money, throwing the coins down on the table. "I have to go. I'm sorry."

He was gone before she could even say goodbye.

* * *

She tore the handful of daisies from the earth by the roots, soil flinging into the air. She kicked at the debris, a strangled shout of frustration leaving her lips. The ghostly forest seemed to be closing in even as she watched, like it was alive. But she couldn't give a shit about the trees. Not this time.

The little girl sat unfazed in the grass, eyeing her from beneath her hood. "My, you come here often. Only this time you found your way here without me! Good job!"

Karin turned to glare at her, "I don't want to be here right now!"

"How ruuuuuude!" The girl stuck out her tongue, "As you start to find the truth, you'll find me. Remember?" She skipped to her feet, balancing on tip-toe to touch Karin's forehead with her fingertips.

Her eyes widened, the warmth from the girl's touch radiating out to lap over her entire body. She stood stock-still, unsure of what was happening, but unable to look away from her intense gaze.

The glint in the girl's eyes suddenly looked like it belonged to someone much older. "You know who I am, Silly Goose."

The word formed in her mind, shapeless at first but beginning to feel round and full on her tongue. "Nisshokuko*,"

* * *

Hitsugaya found the Fourth Division in an uproar. Nurses struggled against Karin's unhinged reiatsu, trying to calm their patients. He rushed forward, turning down the familiar hall only to find the bed in her room empty. His stomach dropped.

He was fairly certain he knew where he'd find her.

He took off down the hall, weaving through the nurses as they ran around in confusion. He immediately spotted the open door, eyes narrowing. "I'll handle this." He instructed the nurses, holding out an arm in front of Hanatarou to keep him from approaching the doorway.

"I-I'm so sorry sir," He stuttered, "I think this is all my fault."

"Save it for later,"

Hitsugaya hadn't been prepared for what he walked in on, though he should have been. Karin had flung herself across the hospital bed, her face buried in the blankets. The fabric balled up in her fists where she squeezed too tightly. He couldn't make out what she was saying… No, she wasn't speaking. She was whimpering.

Kurosaki Karin was crying.

The realization struck him hard. Kurosaki Karin, who didn't cry when her brother almost died on her after the Winter War. Kurosaki Karin, who didn't cry when her brother really did die on her. Kurosaki Karin, who was unraveling before his eyes. Maybe Hinamori hadn't been the only one pretending to be fine. If he hadn't known the reason for her tears already, he would've thought it was impossible. Oh, but he knew alright.

Kurosaki Ichigo lay motionless beneath the covers, unmoved by his baby sister's cries.

The boy captain reached out to lay an unsure hand on her shoulder. She immediately whirled around, cutting him to the core with her gaze. Her eyes were rimmed in red, but she had effectively stifled the tears. His attention flitted to the edge of a blade in her hand, noticing it for the first time. It was a handsome katana, gold and silver ribbons woven around the handle. The guard appeared to be circular, a crescent moon superimposed over the sun. He'd never seen a sword like that before. _A zanpakuto._ But…how?

She didn't point her blade at him, choosing instead to deck him in the face. Her fist was shaking. "You weren't going to tell me?!"

He resisted the urge to rub his jaw, where there would no doubt be a bruise soon."There was no guarantee that he would wake up within your lifetime. We didn't want to endanger you with false hope."

She sent him a glare that could kill. "Bullshit,"

"I tried to tell you earlier. In the graveyard. But you wouldn't let me speak." She attempted to hit him again, but he caught her fist. "You must calm down, Kurosaki."

She had frozen, rapt in his gaze, but her energy did not lessen. His hand tightened around her fist and he slowly lowered it, not letting go. Her reiatsu was almost tangible, a gauzy curtain of interwoven black and gold. It flickered, unstable and unrelenting.

He coaxed her fist open, but didn't release her hand. "Kurosaki, please."

She still refused to obey, looking away from him like a stubborn child. He tightened his grip on her hand, pulling her closer to himself. In a matter of seconds, she went from enraged child to total confusion. Her arm was pinned between them, and for the first time she noticed just how much she had to look up to see into his eyes. How much his heartbeat skittered when he was angry with her. How his skin was impossibly warm, and—

Then he put his fingertips to her forehead, her eyes growing too heavy from the kido spell as she finally slumped against him. He caught her, knowing the wave of relief that was probably hitting the nurses as her reiatsu finally shut off. He held her close for a moment, dead weight in his arms. Kurosaki Ichigo, the object of all of their struggles, had not awoken in the mess. It was beginning to become doubtful that anything _would_ wake him.

He shifted Karin, lifting her so he could carry her properly back to her bed. "I can handle this," He reassured no one in particular. He was just about to leave when a small spike of reiatsu hit him. It was a mere whisper, hardly noticeable after Karin's little tantrum. But it was there. He turned to look at the substitute shinigami. Had he been the source? It was then that he noticed the small ring around the boy's finger begin to glow a little. It was the same sort of ring Urahara had given Karin. The setting that had once held a small flat black stone now only held shards. But the shards slowly began to fuse, a small measure of the gem growing back as if it was alive.

He took a step back. Just what was going on there?

* * *

"I think all she wants from you is an apology."

Hitsugaya didn't bother to look over his shoulder at his lieutenant as she entered Karin's hospital room. Staying around like this was merely a precaution in case she woke up again, guns blazing. He tried to sound uninterested, "For what? I am not at fault for what's happened."

She came to sit beside him, crossing her arms and flipping her hair over her shoulder as if it was just too obvious for her to even bother speaking.

He crossed his arms too, watching the steady rise and fall of Karin's chest as she slept. "I was only following orders."

She frowned, "But even you protested them in the beginning."

He couldn't disguise the irritation welling up in his gut, "They were to keep her safe."

"That doesn't change the fact that we took the things she loved, lied about it, and then abandoned her." She knew the feeling of isolation all too well. She could only imagine how Karin felt, going through so much at such a young age. It was a heavy cross to bear. She made a point to look her captain dead in the eyes and say the one thing she could be one hundred percent sure of, "I think all she needs right now is a real friend."

* * *

**AN: ***Nisshokuko essentially means Eclipse Child. I thought it went well with the moon theme that her father and brother have going on.

Also, I know that recently it was revealed in Bleach that all shinigami academy students get basic blank zanpakutos to imprint their own spirit on, but I came up with this plot point before the chapter came out. So I'm still going with manifesting zanpakutos yourself in this story. So sue me. x) I've brought up a lot of questions, I know. Now that the basic info is out, all the big reveals will happen at a more sane pace, I promise.

Oh, and if anyone knows what the joke Hinamori told is from, you get a cookie.

Thanks for reading this whopper. Let me know what you thought!


	15. Lonely

**AN**: I just wanted to thank you all for your patience regarding updates! I've been very busy and it took me a while to get up the motivation to pump this sucker out. But I finally did it! I hope you enjoy it!

And thanks to everyone who reviewed my story even after I took so long to post a new chapter!

Lady Violet Fire: I've addressed your "Karin-chan" concerns in this very chapter! It's a headcanon of mine, so I hope it stands up to the test.

FreeTraderBeowolf: Was it foreshadowing? Was it not? We'll see. c:

Juliedoo: Oh my goodness. Thank you so much~! I was hoping to portray them in a very multi-faceted way.

Without further ado, here is chapter fifteen!

* * *

Lonely

The festival was already in full swing when they arrived, voices surrounding them in a cocoon of noise as they wove through the crowds. Yuzu grabbed Karin's hand and led her forward, an excited glow in her eyes. They were far enough ahead of their family to avoid being heard, but close enough that Isshin wouldn't fret about them being separated. Yuzu had always had a knack for balancing those sorts of things. Her hand slid up Karin's arm until she was tugging at the ocean-blue cotton of her yukata sleeve.

"Hitsugaya-kun's meeting you here, right Karin-chan?" She enthused.

"Maybe. He said maybe, Yuzu-chan." Karin corrected her, allowing herself to be dragged.

"Oh, but where will we find him?" Yuzu pouted prettily.

It was the summer of their first year in middle school, and things were actually looking relatively stable for once. Karin had noticed that Ichigo had regained his powers, but she hadn't dared ask how he'd done such a thing. Or, more accurately, figured out a good time to ask him. Yuzu and Karin both were doing rather well in school, prompting Isshin to break into tears on multiple occasions. But perhaps the best thing was how alive their home had become since Rukia and Hitsugaya both had stopped by as guests for the past two weeks. Karin had found it a bit suspect that they were staying for so long without much in the way of an explanation, but if Ichigo's morale was increasing so would hers. She could allow herself to find happiness in the little things, just this once.

"Find who?" Isshin's voice boomed from behind the girls as he caught up, Ichigo and Rukia trailing behind them. He threw a hand over his forehead theatrically, "Are my precious baby girls ditching their family to sneak off to find boys?"

Yuzu jumped to the rescue, "N-no, Daddy! Of course not!"

"We're the ones ditching out, Old Man." Ichigo piped up and nodded his head lazily toward Rukia, who was looking lovely in her twilight-spun yukata. "She's never been to a festival before, so I was going to show her around."

Isshin perked up at the news, a devilish grin breaking across his face. "Ichigo, my boy! You're taking your chance to woo a young lady at a summer festival! These are the fruits of your youth! Go! Go forth and become a man!"

With a scoff and a quick uppercut to his father's jaw, Ichigo began to lead Rukia away from them. He patted Karin and Yuzu's heads quickly as he left, murmuring, "Be careful, and keep Dad in line."

"Looks like it's just the three of us!" Isshin bellowed, aiming to scoop the girls into a hug. Karin evaded the attack, leaving Yuzu to be squished in his arms. He was used to that kind of treatment from her, especially in public. But he frowned anyways.

A sizeable throng of girls that had gathered at the end of the row of stalls caught Karin's eye, and she swiveled away from her sniffling father to inspect it. The mob consisted of girls that ranged in age from Karin's own thirteen to about seventeen. All of them seemed strangely fixated on one thing, and they all were practically swooning where they stood.

Bingo.

"Actually, make that just the two of you." Karin corrected, backing away from the bear-hugging spectacle that was her family. "I'm going to go rescue my friend."

Yuzu brightened, "You found him?"

But Karin had already navigated too far from her to answer.

"Make way. Step aside." Karin commanded as she wriggled her way through the girls. The sight of his strategically-mussed alabaster hair at the epicenter of the hoard had her smirking. He stood, leaning coolly against the side of a food stand and ignoring his adoring public like a master actor.

"What grade are you in?"

"Do you go to my school?"

"Is that your natural hair color?"

He wasn't answering a single question. He raised an eyebrow at the sight of Karin as she came to stand at the forefront of the throng. Her hair was still swept back into the ponytail style she'd worn for the past two weeks he'd been there, but her face exuded a brand of brightness he hadn't seen in her often. It was as if she'd just heard a very funny joke but decided not to share the punch line with him. It was strange to see her in a yukata like that, though not a bad thing. The deep blue was a good color for her, off-setting her fair skin and stormy eyes. It was reminiscent of the days when Hinamori wore them all the time, long ago. Before Shino Academy. Hitsugaya himself hadn't bothered to dress up, which was one of the things the crowd was swooning about. Karin chuckled to hear them tossing around labels like "dark" and "mysterious."

"Toshiro," She nodded, working to efficiently tune the girls out.

He nodded back mutely.

"Let's go," Her voice grew louder, "C'mon! Hurry!" She broke into a sprint, cleaving a path between the girls and hoping he would follow.

Much to her private satisfaction, he did.

Without needing to communicate what was going on the two rushed up the row of food carts and turned the corner, leaving the girls effectively stunned in their wake. Karin stopped to catch her breath, a sardonic grin on her face. "Apparently you're the coolest thing since sliced bread. Some girls have such questionable taste."

His gaze slid to her face. She was in that dangerous mood where the lines between sincerity and sarcasm were blurred beyond recognition. "Kurosaki, please."

"You know I'm only kidding, Toshiro." She shrugged, "I'm just surprised to see you made it." The underlying edge of honest gladness wasn't fully concealed by her casual air. A measure of silence passed between them. "Let's play Kingyo Sukui."

"What?"

"The fish-scooping game. Kingyo Sukui. Ichi-nii and I used to make it into a competition every year, but this year he split off with Rukia-san." A dangerous spark ignited in her eyes, "Let's make it into a bet."

"I won't do anything of the sort." He retorted plainly.

"You haven't even heard the bet yet." She didn't appear fazed by him at all, "If I lose, I'll call you Hitsugaya-taicho from now on. But if I win…" A wily smile crossed her face, "You have to call me Karin-chan."

"Ridiculous," _Karin-chan?_ He was suspicious it wasn't because she liked the cutesy name, but that she just loved making him uncomfortable. "You're being so childish."

No way did he want to engage in her childish games like that. She should've already been calling him taicho from the start, as he'd instructed her to do innumerable times. He sighed and rubbed his temples as he considered her proposition, but his thoughts were interrupted by the sound of excited footfalls and shrieks. His fans had regrouped and were on their way. His frown visibly iced over and he began to walk forward.

"Let's talk about this lat-" He froze mid-sentence. Karin grasped his sleeve, refusing to budge. She met his impatient glance with an equally firm glare. There was a sardonic edge on her lips that didn't get by him. It wasn't as if she could realistically hold him there. He could break from her grasp so easily, but some playful spark in her gunmetal eyes held him still if only for a moment.

"I could always tell your fan club about how you're staying at my house. They'll either take their little powwow to my place or…" She smirked and raised her eyebrows suggestively, "They'll assume we're-"

His eyes narrowed dangerously at her and he rushed to pull her along with him, a satisfied grin blossoming across her face. He knew she was just teasing, but a part of him had to take her threat at face-value. When she was feeling mischievous he could never properly gauge her behavior. Though it was doubtful she would really want to talk to any of his so-called adoring fans. They ran together in silence, ducking between food vendors for shelter and stopped for a moment to allow the girls to pass. Karin crossed her arms, leveling her gaze at him. Her face was strangely unreadable to him, which would have been intriguing on someone who wasn't as dangerous as her.

Finally after a measure of silence, he spoke. "…where is the fish scooping place?"

She brightened and gestured down the row of vendors, "It's just down there!"

It was with wide eyes and an even wider grin that Karin tallied up their points. Hitsugaya had obviously only been humoring her, which she was absolutely okay with. He didn't seem convinced that fishing goldfish from a trough of water would be enjoyable –especially not with a paper scoop that broke more often than not. But his participation sated her enough to get her to stop teasing him so incessantly.

"I won,"

"You what?" He whipped around to face her, tearing his gaze from the lazy patterns the fish cut through the water.

"I said I won. What are you, deaf?" She exclaimed with a little too much glee. "You know what that means?"

_Oh no. _

But she was smirking at him as if to say, _Oh yes_.

By the time they had to prepare to view the fireworks display, Karin still hadn't found her family yet. Being as unfazed as always she made do, dragging Hitsugaya to a spot by the river that he would later learn her mother used to view fireworks from. She figured her family would know to look for her there, since it was such an obvious place to go.

They sat in the grass by the river bank, the water swirling quietly below. Neither of them had much to say and that was absolutely fine. Silences passed comfortably between them, neither particularly compelled to break it. She yawned quietly, pulling her hair out of its signature ponytail. Hitsugaya found a small pleasure in watching her take her hair down. She only did so when she was truly comfortable, and the fact that she did it around him gave him a small level of satisfaction. He rather liked it when it was down, swirling its inky tendrils around her face. The smell of hibiscus shampoo wasn't lost on him either.

"Kuro—Karin-chan?" He caught himself just in time, the name feeling foreign on his tongue. He already was growing tired of this nickname thing. Maybe he could weasel out of it later? He'd certainly have to try.

She smirked in response, "Hmm?" The way his eyes shone in the dusky light of late evening had her rapt attention. The grass was comfortably cool against the warm air and everything seemed to glow softly. She couldn't explain it to herself, but something about the moment made her want to bottle it up and keep it forever. Not that she'd ever say that out loud.

He had to labor to stuff down the spark of contempt that smirk stirred in him. "I still want you to call me by my title. This doesn't change anything." The request was cool and collected, nothing short of status quo. But for some reason it left her laughing. He really would never be able to make sense of this damn girl.

Before she could make up some snappy reply, they were both cut off by the crackling bang of the first firework. "Hang on! It's starting!" She enthused, lying back in the grass to watch.

Hesitantly he followed her lead, very conscious of how close their fingertips were in the grass. All it would take was one_ inch_…

It was a barrier neither dared to cross.

They both lay in silence throughout the display, and even for a couple of minutes after. Finally she tilted her head, looking at him as if deciding whether or not to say something. Her slate eyes flickered to his lips for a moment, a far-off quality to them that he had never seen before. As if she were recalling something from long ago. Her fingers brushed his, and like so many things she did it was unclear if she meant anything by it. "Do you know what my mother once told me?"

He blinked at her, surprised by her newly quieted mood. He'd known for quite some time about her mother's fate. The fact that Karin had grown up without a strong female figure had definitely made its impact on her. But it was never something she'd cared to discuss much with him previously. "No-"

"Karin-chan! Hitsugaya-kuuuun!" Yuzu's voice rang out to them, snapping them out of the moment.

Karin's reaction was instantaneous, her hand sliding far from his as she sat up and turned to look at the approaching group. But Toshiro was taken aback, still looking at her rather than her family. She leapt away from him as Isshin barreled through the grass, landing face-first where she had just been seated. Toshiro stood with distaste, dusting himself off. But her soft question was still smoldering in his mind...

"_Taicho?_ Taicho I have some paperwork for you~!"

His reverie was shattered, transplanting him abruptly back into his office in the tenth. He blinked up at Matsumoto where she stood over his desk waving papers in the air carelessly. It took him a moment to respond, and he could swear the sweet summer air still filled the room for a second. In a mechanical movement, he snatched the papers from her and set them atop a growing pile on his desk.

"Mmm?" She cocked her head at him, eyebrows furrowing. "Is something the matter, Taicho? You seem off."

Without dignifying the question with a glance upwards, he set off to work on filling out papers. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Mmm'kay." She shrugged and headed back to her own desk, well aware that her efforts to drag it out of him at the moment would be futile.

Thoughts of that night kept swirling back to him, replacing the text on the pages before him with old memories. It occurred to him that he finally got what he wanted from her; she called him by his proper title. But in response he broke his promise and reverted back to calling her Kurosaki out of spite.

He wondered why that was.

* * *

It had been three days since she'd been released from the hospital. Four days since she'd spoken with her father. Who knew how many since she'd been on good terms with Hitsugaya. They'd taken her sword from her –her zanpakuto, as she'd been told. She hadn't seen it since and no one would tell her where it was for the time being. There was nothing left to do but sit and stare at what a mess Matsumoto's quarters were.

Upon Karin's release, she was sent to live with the fukutaicho. After all, she was still under the tenth's care. Not unlike a dog, whose watchful owners didn't let out without constant supervision. Unfortunately, that left her plenty of time to think.

This was nothing like what she'd imagined heaven to be like. If that was even what she could call it. No…this wasn't heavenly at all. She guessed that's why they called it Soul Society instead. The name of heaven would be a severe misnomer. Back when she was alive, she was never even certain that there was a place for spirits to cross over to. She had always suspected that once they vanished from the human world they were immediately reborn, like some kind of cycle. Unlike Yuzu's idealisms, she never anticipated seeing her mother and brother again. And it wasn't as if she wanted to have a lengthy discussion about the afterlife with Urahara. So maybe it was her pride that kept her from learning much in that respect. But deep down, she'd always been a little fearful of what she might uncover if she ever _did_ have that conversation with someone.

After she regained her memories of her brother's real death, the picture became even fuzzier. She could have sworn she'd seen him wasting away in spirit form, an impossible amount of blood draining from him. What was supposed to happen to someone if they were killed as a spirit? Was there some kind of loophole, or was it the End with a capital E? Now, she supposed, she didn't need to be worrying about those questions. She knew exactly where he was. And it seemed she had been the last one in on the little secret. Oh wait—_Yuzu_. How would she tell Yuzu? Unless their father had taken it upon himself to inform her. She shuddered at the thought of how he would break such news. No, Yuzu needed to hear it from her. If she wasn't too late. Yes, she definitely needed to see Yuzu again to reassure her that their family had not yet reached the End.

Thankfully Matsumoto arrived back at her quarters just around lunch time, interrupting a staring contest Karin had struck up against the ceiling. Not to mention, interrupting the thoughts that had been eating at her from the inside.

"Karin-chan~!" The blonde called, slamming the front door shut and traipsing into the small sitting room occupied by the young Kurosaki. "I brought lunch!" The bag she held out rustled in her hand and wafted a delicious scent into the room.

"Really?" Karin raised an eyebrow, brightening. "Thanks! I-"

"Ah, ah!" The fukutaicho wiggled a finger in Karin's face, silencing her. "You have to agree to do me a favor before I give you the food."

Now this was tricky.

"What kind of favor?"

"Oh, nothing much." She shrugged, "Just agree to let me have a couple of guests over tonight. I think you'd like them."

"Guests?" She asked in disbelief, "That's it? Sure? I mean, it's your apartment. I'm just sort of crashing here. Why should it matter what-" The food bag was flung in her lap, effectively silencing her.

"Oh I just know you'll love them! Hisagi and Izuru know how to have a good time~!"

And in the busty fukutaicho's opinion, a good time was just what the doctor ordered.

* * *

Words blurred on the page, creating smoky grey smudges before his eyes. Burning the midnight oil wasn't unusual to the high-strung captain of the tenth, but this night was different. He'd read the same line roughly seven times, the words never quite making it through to him coherently. It was supposed to be some dry report about energy disturbances in an outlying region of the Rukon District, but he couldn't be sure of the details. Pen poised above the page, he heaved a sigh and fought the urge to stare out the window.

Hisagi and Izuru had walked by the office heading toward Matsumoto's quarters hours ago and it was getting very late. If they'd left, he would have seen them. Knowing his fukutaicho, they could only be getting together for a round of drinks and raucous conversation. Especially at this hour. Not that it was his business what Matsumoto did in her free time if it didn't interfere with work, but it wasn't exactly ideal for a person in their care to be bunking with drunks. It was his duty to check up on them, after all. Her wellbeing was his job still whether he liked it or not. It was his work.

With some finality he set the pen down, feeling much like a prisoner who had been released from their shackles. She'd be pissed if she knew he was doting on her like this; insulted by his apparent lack of faith in her ability to take care of herself. It wasn't as if he felt like being terribly interested in her affairs. They only forms of communication they'd exchanged as of late were glares and biting remarks that Matsumoto always attempted to sweep under the rug with a jovial change of subject. Kurosaki Karin was not a deep point of interest to him anymore. Not her hair, the honeyed scent of which seemed to fill the room wherever she went. Not her gunmetal eyes, which saw too much and too little all at once. And especially not that shit-eating grin.

This was strictly business.

* * *

Karin had had the opportunity to drink numerous times. There had been plenty of parties with her soccer teammates, plastic cups thrust into her hands by a familiar smiling face.

Escape.

But that wasn't for her. She had her sister to look after. There was no real escape from her anxieties anyway. She'd found many ingenuitive was to dispose of well-intended offerings of booze over the years: Pouring the amber contents of a cup into a houseplant or leaving full bottles in cabinets under sinks.

But this night was different. Now she held the cup to her lips and disposed of the contents into her own body. The liquid seared her on the way down, a punishment she felt was well-deserved. It was a game of masochism, but hey, at least there were smiles all around. Yuzu wasn't hers to look after anymore. What inhibitions did she have? It struck her that she'd waited until after she died to live a little. Shit like that happened. She'd try this escape thing for once.

She was tired of being in her own skin.

This was the scene Hitsugaya Toshiro entered into, all stone-faced disapproval. He was greeted with laughter that was far too loud, his fukutaicho leaning backwards into a giddy shriek. Hisagi and Izuru doubled over, red-faced. Much to his surprise Karin appeared to be commanding the room, an uncharacteristically wide smile punctuated by rose-tinted cheeks. His entrance hadn't hindered the mood at all, a sign that the group was pretty far gone.

"Oh, it's taicho~!" Matsumoto chirped, her sake threatening to slosh onto Hisagi's lap. (Not that the fukutaicho in question would very well mind or notice.) "Come in! We're playing a game you would like!"

Iced blue eyes swept over to Karin, who had set her cup down and was proceeding to make a sour face at the tabletop. In a childish display of stubbornness, she refused to look up at him. If she had, she may have been able to read how surprised he was to find that she'd joined the festivities. She mumbled something under her breath before taking another drink, finally training her glassy gaze on him.

"Take a drink for every story you can tell that supports the theory that Hitsugaya-taicho has a Napoleon Complex." And there it was: That shit-eating grin. Even in drunkenness she knew how to press his buttons with alarming precision.

Hisagi piped up before Hitsugaya could reach his boiling point, "Karin-chan's in the lead. It was her idea."

Boiling point achieved.

And to think he had been concerned for her wellbeing! She seemed to be flourishing in the company of drunkards, the salty little _child! _His expression darkened dangerously, a signal Karin was either too blitzed to notice or had chosen not to.

She polished off her cup with a small grimace, her smile widening. "I told them about the time we went down to the river and you-"

"That's enough." He stated plainly, his temper simmering dangerously beneath the cold façade. He reached down for her wrist, having every intention to drag her out of there like a tantruming child. She twisted out of his reach, her empty cup spinning out across the table.

"What do you think you're doing?" She demanded, mirth drained from her face.

"You're coming with me." He stated matter-of-factly.

Hisagi and Matsumoto erupted in a chorus of, "Oooooooh!" as if she were a junior high student being sent to the principal's office.

"Like hell I am."

An electrified moment of tense silence passed between the two, neither wanting to be the first to break eye contact and thus admit defeat.

"I'm serious."

Matsumoto knew enough about her taicho's limits to prompt Karin, "Go on, Karin-chan. We'll save a seat for when you come back~!"

It took a moment for her to respond, the choice between defying Hitsugaya and flippantly disregarding the confidence of her new friend a difficult one. Finally, her internal war was ceased and she stood. Her instability was obvious, a slight sway in her stance even as she stood still. When she took a step forward, Hitsugaya felt the need to prepare to catch her.

He couldn't drag her out of that place fast enough, the cool night air a welcome reprieve to him. But Karin's reprieve would not come soon. He turned on her, "What do you think you're doing?"

"Having fun." She cut him a steely glance, her eyes still a bit bleary. A smile cracked across her face before her next sentence. "What're you, my mother?"

"I'm getting you back to my quarters for the night." He explained, not acknowledging this little game she was trying to play with him. If her emotions were strong before, alcohol made her appear downright bipolar.

She lurched forward by his side, trying to match his pace. "I never asked for you to take care of me." Despite the complaint, she didn't stop following him.

"Neither did I." He rebutted.

"That's your problem," She began, poking him firmly in the shoulder, "All this mysterious tough guy shit."

He raised an eyebrow, but didn't bother to refute her.

Her eyebrows furrowed, the corners of her lips turning down in an accusatory frown. "You're kind of an asshole, you know that? But you act like it's all everyone else's fault." She gestured encompassingly, almost tipping over. Then without warning she stopped in her tracks, prompting him to turn and face her. He looked tired, as if he just wanted the peace and quiet of a Kurosaki-less night. But the look in her eyes gave him pause. She'd quieted, her eyes softened on the edges by a deep-cutting sadness. "You're lonely." It was so soft that she practically breathed the words. "And you do that to yourself."

The supposed master of ice was frozen in place by her words. In that moment, she had been uninhibited enough to say what she'd really thought of him for who knew how long.

She seemed to sober for a moment, an uncanny sharpness in her eyes, "You're fucked up and broken. But so'm I." A moment of silence passed between them, the shrewd observations hanging in the air. He struggled to find something to say, trapped between exasperation and shock. Then in the grand Kurosaki tradition, she ruined the moment. With a staggered movement she booped him on the nose with her finger, struggling a bit to get out the words, "Maybe that's why I like him so much. Except that we're fighting right now. So don't tell him I said that. Shhh."

He was caught off-guard by her sudden switch in perception. Just who did she think he was? Then she narrowed her eyes at him, "Were you listenin' in on that? I was talkin' to your hair, damn it. It's big enough to be its own person."

If it weren't for the fact that she was about to fall on her face drunk, he would've been indignant. "Let me help you," He placed a hand gently on her shoulder but she shrugged it off with a childish grimace.

"Don touch me."

She really _did_ start to fall over, collapsing into him with eyes closed. His arms slipped lithely around her waist, preventing a graceless fall. He expected her to fight and struggle against him, but instead she grew very still. Her body felt strangely warm so close to his, her waist easily distinguishable beneath the clothing she'd kept so stubbornly from the human world.

She looked into his eyes for a long moment before her gaze flickered fleetingly to his lips, "You know what my mom once told me?" Then she burst out in a surprisingly girlish giggle, "When did the world start spinning?"

With that, he decided to hurry her along before she made a fool out of them both in the hallway. He expected a fight to get her in bed, locking the door behind him with a sigh. Matsumoto would definitely get a talking to after this was all said and done.

When he turned away from the door, Karin was gone. She'd beaten him to it, sprawled across his bed face-down in the pillows. Her breathing was slow, making it safe to assume she'd fallen asleep with the astonishing rapidness of the inebriated. Her eyes had fluttered shut, lashes casting small shadows in the dim light. She looked like much less trouble when she was out like a light.

Taking care not to jostle her, he placed a blanket over her where she lay. But as he turned to leave, he was fingers wrapped tightly around the sleeve of his shihakusho, reining him in. He tried to pull away, and in reaction she gave a firm tug, coaxing him into sitting back on the edge of the bed. She didn't move, but he could hear her voice muffled through the bedding. It sounded small and breakable, not like the same accusing voice from before.

"I'm lonely too,"

His breath caught, and he strained to hear if she had anything else to say. Had she even said anything in the first place, or had he made it all up in his mind?

He stayed there until she released him, carried into a sleep like the dead.

* * *

**AN**: I hope you enjoyed it! I'll try to get the next chapter out in a more timely manner, but we'll see. Please drop me a line to tell me what you thought or voice any questions. I love to hear from you guys!


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